The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You [Paperback]

Vlad Mezrich (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2009

Love bites...we can help.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 12 and up
  
• Paperback: 176 pages
• Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks (October 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0545202388
• ISBN-13: 978-0545202381
• Product Dimensions: 7.3 x 5.2 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,091,662 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Victoria Kosara is the author of several books for children. She lives and works in New York, and visits London, England frequently.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars It's cute enough, July 21, 2011

By 

Donna at Bites (Connecticut) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You (Paperback)

I both really liked this book for its satire and was leery of it because, well, I can see sparkly-eyed teen girls taking the quizzes like they do in Cosmo and holding themselves to the results. Poor boyfriends. I just can't tell if the satire wasn't strong enough or if it's just me reading a little too much into it.

Either way it was pretty funny. It's pretty much a total rip on TWILIGHT and tells you how klutzy to be in order to snag a sparkly one, among other things. The breakdown of normal boys, goth boys and vampires was pretty funny, complete with diagrams with zits and fangs (not combined, of course).

The voice was awesome and the tone was consistent. Vlad did a good job of getting his expertise across without slaughtering any of the testimonial reporters. I think. Good for him if he did.

It was a super short read, meant to be light-hearted and silly. If you're a diehard TWILIGHT fan you probably won't like it because it makes no qualms about ripping the Edward-ish a new butthole. It maintains its "integrity" until the end and I think that might be what holds me back from really loving this book. I want to but the satire is at times hard for me to swallow because I can't help but think that a couple parts might not be satirical. Kind of absurd but that line between reality and satire is blurred which makes me leery.

Still, it's a funny book and if you're looking for a quick break from the vampire inundation, this is a good break to have.

4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Fluff, with Fangs, April 21, 2010

By 

Kelly (Fantasy Literature) (Columbia, MO United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You (Paperback)

"Vlad Mezrich" is a pseudonym for a team of Scholastic writers who pooled their satirical talents to create this fun little book (David Levithan is the editor). The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You parodies dating guides, teen-magazine quizzes, and most of all, current tropes in vampire literature. Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1) gets the lion's share of Vlad's snark, but there are references to Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, and others as well.

Aspiring Bellas and Minas will learn how to tell a vampire from an ordinary goth or emo boy, how to attract a vampire, how to convince him to make you his immortal beloved, and how to recognize the signs of a relationship gone south. In true teen-magazine fashion, The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You features advice, quizzes, horoscopes, and "testimonial" quotes from bloodsucking fiends and the girls who love them. These sections are interspersed with notes from a vampire slayer, who has a very different perspective on things!

While this is a lighthearted, fluffy book, it actually does a great job of highlighting some disturbing vampire-lit tropes. Stalking is not romantic, and a guy who is torn between loving you and killing you is probably not Mr. Right. I can sit here as a curmudgeonly adult reader and blather about this till I'm blue in the face, but "Vlad" makes the same point much more effectively with humor.

The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You is a quick read and a great way to kill an hour or two. It reminded me a bit of Neil Zawacki's How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!!, another satirical "how-to" book that gleefully skewers literary and cinematic clichés.