I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart, Oklahoma, Book 1) [Mass Market Paperback]

Michele Bardsley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 4, 2012

Broken Heart is the city with the highest rate of divorce and highest percentage of single parents in Oklahoma. And I, Jessica Matthews, have been a member of that club ever since my husband dumped me for his twentysomething secretary and then had the gall to die in a car accident.

Now I’m not just a single mother trying to make ends meet in this crazy world....I’m also a vampire. One minute I was taking out the garbage; the next I awoke sucking on the thigh of superhot vampire Patrick O’Halloran, who’d generously offered his femoral artery to save me.

But though my stretch marks have disappeared and my vision has improved, I can’t rest until the thing that did this to me is caught. My kids’ future is at stake…figuratively and literally. As is my sex life. Although I wouldn’t mind finding myself attached to Patrick’s juicy thigh again, I learned that once a vampire does the dirty deed, it hitches her to the object of her affection for at least one hundred years. I just don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment....

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When Jessica Matthews, a suburban divorcée and mother of two, gets savagely attacked one night by a werewolf, she awakens to find herself sucking blood from the thigh of 4,000-year-old vampire Patrick O'Halloran. He explains that the only way to have kept her from dying was to turn her into a vampire like himself. Now Jessica finds herself recruited to hunt the rampaging Lycan, who may be Patrick's brother, alongside Patrick and the mysterious paranormal organization called the Consortium. Bardsley has done considerable research into Celtic legends in order to create her vampire society, but her research doesn't make for a successful book. Rather than giving us, as the title would suggest, a satirical look at a soccer mom turned "sucker mom" attempting to balance normal daily life with a most abnormal nightlife, Bardsley focuses on Jessica's explicit sexual longing for Patrick and the mundane conflict between the Consortium and their evil counterparts, the Wraith. Though amusing at times, the meat of this vampire tale is oddly bloodless. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“The paranormal romance of the year…get this one NOW!”—MaryJanice Davidson



“A fun, fun read!”—Rosemary Laurey

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Mass Market Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Signet (September 4, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0451219376
• ISBN-13: 978-0451219374
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.2 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #472,586 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

National bestselling author Michele Bardsley writes about Oklahoma vampires, Texas wizards, and zombie-making teenagers (as Michele Vail). Obsessed with gourmet chocolate, History Channel, and all things shiny, she creates fictional worlds because, hey, it's a lot more fun than housework. She lives in Texas with her family, where they are slaves to their numerous pets.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!, September 14, 2006

By 

Anna Hope (PA United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart, Oklahoma, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)

This is a great book that is well worth spending your money on! In a time when some authors have been getting a little stale Ms. Bardsley is the breath of fresh air that escapes from your lungs as you laugh your [...] off or sigh with yearning!

Little does the town of Broken Heart, Oklahoma know it, but they've just been bought out by the Consortium, a group of scientists and handsome were's and vamp's, who want to start a hometown for their kind. The news kind of slips the bag though when, during a treatment to cure a dreadful disease, Lorcan O'Halloran, a stunning 4,000 year old Irish vamp, turns hairy and runs a muck on a killer feeding binge. He accidentally sucks 11 of the towns citizens dry and the other vamps in the consortium are forced to step in to save them by transforming them into vampires.

Our heroine is the first of the eleven townsfolk taken and wakes up sucking on the thigh of Lorcan's smoothly sexy twin, Patrick. He explains that she is his soulmate and he shows her the magical chains he was forced to wear so that he didn't ravish her. jessica is actually all for the ravishing part. Patrick explains that if they have sex though they will bond, which means they will be married for the next 100 years! He won't force her or rush her into the bond either as Jessica's husand was killed only 14 months ago and she still has some issues with her former spouses infidelity to work through. Plus there's the kids. Bryan and Jenny need to be told that their mom's now a vampire. Maybe they should work up to the new 4,000 year old dad thing?

With evil creatures, a shocking who done it, a cast of mouthwatering characters ( think gorgeous German triplets- beefcake x's 3!)and the next book in the series coming out in July, you'll definitely want to pick up this book!

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fabulously funny and sexy vampire tale, September 18, 2006

By 

Kelley Hartsell "Kelley" (Irving, TX) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

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This review is from: I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart, Oklahoma, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)

Courtesy of Love Romances

Only Michele Bardsley can take the mundane and turn it in to a brilliantly funny story, as she does with I'm the Vampire, That's Why.

Jessica Matthews is a divorced single mom trying to make a good life for herself and her children in Broken Heart, OK. She never expected her entire world to be turned inside out one evening when taking out the trash. One moment she is walking to the curb, the next she is waking up, sucking on the leg of the sinfully sexy vampire, Patrick O'Halloran. Now she discovers the shocking news she was brutally attacked by a half-wehr, half vampire creature and the only way to save her life was to make her one of the undead also.

After she recovers from the sensual haze she is surrounded in due to her unique feeding method, all she cares about is making sure her children are safe from the monster that did this to her. Now she is fighting bad guys (or rather, bad vampires, AKA Wraiths), learning to deal with her new skills, and helping her children adjust to her new life. Never mind that she finds herself obsessing over the gorgeous Patrick and his revelations that she is... his soul mate? Who or what is the mysterious thing that is still attacking the town? How can Jessica raise her children if she is dead to the world, literally and figuratively, during the day when they need her most? And what of her growing fascination and lust-filled thoughts for the seductive Patrick?

Watch out folks, there is a new breed of housewife in town! Jessica is smart and sassy, full of biting wit and charm with one-liners we all wish we could come up with on the fly. Her fears and concerns for her children are not your ordinary run-of-the-mill kind. No, she has to worry about monsters and evil vampires and protecting her children from a whole new kind of danger. Readers will follow along with Jessica as she learns how to control her new powers and helps her children to understand what has happened. The passion between Patrick and Jessica is believable, especially as we are privy to Jessica's thoughts as to why she must resist these urges. Her world is her children and she won't do anything without fully taking in to consideration how her decisions will affect them.

Michele Bardsley has obviously done considerable research for this novel. The world building in I'm the Vampire, That's Why is very extensive, crossing centuries and oceans to all come into play in Broken Heart. The legend behind Broken Heart, OK is a unique and strangely appealing one. Then there is the legend of Jessica's family ancestry and how it is linked to Patrick's story. And of course, we can't forget the vivid telling of how the vampires came to be in the first place. Everything fits together seamlessly and it is obvious Michele Bardsley has plenty of more stories to tell about her vampire society.

Sit back, kick up your feet, and prepare to be immersed in a completely entertaining read full of cheeky humor and enough sensual tension to set your eyebrows on fire.

(c) Kelley A. Hartsell, September 2006. all rights reserved.

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What don't you people get? This book was awesome!, October 25, 2006

By 

Fairy Glitter Girl (Maryland) - See all my reviews

This review is from: I'm the Vampire, That's Why (Broken Heart, Oklahoma, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)

I am stunned by some of the reviews of this book. Michele Bardsley has done a fabulous job of creating a character which all of us moms out here can relate to. I won't bother recapping the story as other reviews have already done that but I do need to say that I never got the impression that Jessica's children were unimportant. In fact in everything she does, she puts her children first. Honestly, I think these people read a different book than I did. The whole concept of juggling being a single mother with finding out you are a vampire is so fantastic and original. This book is definitely worth your time and money! I am anxiously awaiting the sequel.