Customer Reviews

Vampires Anonymous

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

After giving up his cravings and murdering his own girlfriend, Vic joins Vampires Anonymous to try and kick the habit. He relocates, goes through a 12-step program, and survives off sheep blood. Things get complicated when the locals complain about their dwindling sheep flocks. A would-be cop named Diesel starts investigating the strange occurrences, while a corporate vampire hunter closes in on Vic as well.

Generally, I do not like vampire films because they seem to copy one another and are rarely ever scary. And while this one wasn't scary by any means, it was at least interesting by putting a new spin on an old subgenre. This featured a clever script with many in-jokes. I particularly liked the parallels of Vic's hunger for blood and Diesel's need for alcohol. These urges hold back both characters in different ways. Whether either character can overcome their flaws affects the outcome of the film.

There is a lot of fun to be had here too. Michael Madsen plays Geno, Vic's program partner and confidante. Neil D'Monte plays Juan Rodrigo, a lovelorn vampire, doing a spot-on impression of Antonio Banderas. Small animals are "snack food" at the VA meetings, Vic reads "CosmoVamp" magazine, vampires get silicone poisoning after biting Swedish Bikini girls with breast implants, and while attempting to bleed a sheep, Vic is mistaken for a sheep f*cker by a redneck farmer.

The ending culminates into a cool showdown with Vic, his lady, and the vampire hunter running through a haunted house. It was pretty funny watching them push around the clueless people that mistook them for either employees using fake scare tactics or customers looking for some scares.

The sound and film quality were pretty good. They used several real animals like mice, birds, and sheep. The SFX were good when used. However, this was a comedy, so there was minimal gore. The vampire teeth looked realistic as opposed to the plastic ones I have seen used in other films.

Favorite Quote: Vic to Maggie, "It's because I'm a vampire, isn't it? Are you afraid they won't let you in the sorority? Afraid they'll whisper, There goes the vampire-f*cker?" DVD Extras: Sadly, there were none! Only Scene Selections all by it's lonesome. I suggest a Special Edition re-release featuring commentary and Behind the Scenes footage.

Bottom Line: Refreshingly original take on the Vampire subgenre. Huge on laughs, but lacking in scares.

Rating: 7/10

Molly Celaschi
www.HorrorYearbook.com

I give it 5 for originalty and a 4 for entertainment value. Great role by Michael Madsen as a mafia-like vampires who plays the lead character's "Sponsor." There are titles cards that introduce the "12 Steps" of being in Vampires Anonymous -- very funny.

I thought, judging by the title, that this movie was going to be lame. But, I am a sucker for vampire movies (no pun intended) so I watched it and was pleasantly suprised by the quality. The satire of the infamous "12 step program" is an absolute riot. "Apologize to those you've maimed, killed, or debaucherized." HA! Anyone who enjoys a humorous story with a few major quirks should really check this one out. Michael Madsen is great as a vampire trying to kick his human blood addiction by preying on local livestock instead. Several sheep jokes later ("Beware of the sheep shagger") he falls in love with a local girl. But when he "falls off the wagon" a professional vamp slayer comes looking for him. Good stuff!

As a diehard Michael Madsen fan, I'm always looking for Michael's latest and when I stumbled on this title, I did a double-take. Madsen in a vampire comedy?

Don't expect Nosferatu but this movie is a solid hour and a half entertainment. Overall, the movie is oddball and funny but the real news is Madsen is hilarious playing a character unlike his typical gangster/cop roles. You have to get this movie just to see him in zebra pajamas mugging in a bathroom.

Anyway, the movie is cute and charming on its own -- the lead dude who plays the main vampire is excellent -- and I would recommend for this reason alone. But Madsen's role here is what gets the movie an easy 4 stars from me. Wonder why Madsen doesn't mention this movie on this website -- he is a total riot in it.

How to summarize this movie? Good question. It starts out fairly strong, then gets a little weak in the middle, and pretty much falls apart at the end. And I think I know why. I'm pretty sure the movie was intended as a horror / comedy, but somewhere along the way, someone decided to cut most of the horror elements. Then the editor was stuck with scenes that didn't tie together properly, so you end up with a bit of a mess.

I can't say for sure this is what happened, but there are sections of narration for the movie that hint at things to come that never do come. Ordinarily, I'd credit that to poor writing, but the movie's pretty solid otherwise, so I don't believe that. To top it off, there are scenes cut into the movie that occur as sort of flashbacks involving supporting characters becomeing vampires themselves. Except that this doesn't actually happen in the film. So they must've been shot, and just not used. And for a final example: our hero's girlfriend tells him "I have something to tell you", then we cut away from the scene and it never comes up again. Definitely something fishy going on.

It's still a decent film, but it becomes too choppy by the end and it doesn't make a lot of sense. The ending is completely tacked on, and ultimately, not very satisfying. Worth seeing for a couple of funny scenes though.

I enjoyed this movie. It had all the elements of a good vampire movie with an unusual twist. Buy it to watch more than once.

This film seems to be a total rip off and straight re-write of the book by the same title. The main character in the book is a gay vampire. Boo hollywood! Strap on a pair and stop giving great queer characters straight makeovers. The novel was hysterical and would've made a great film as it was written.

Apparently, there is a 12-step program for vampires. I liked this premise and some of the lines were good, very good. But not even the cute premise and some catchy dialogue could save this film from its low budget quality and one joke routine. The humor of the story wore off quick for me and prevented it from becoming a better movie. Michael Madsen displayed his usual charm and kept the movie from being a total loss but overall, I wouldn't watch it again or recommend it to my friends. My tip to you: there are much better movies out there to watch or things to do for 1.5+ hours.

Vampires Anonymous is a low budget flick about a vampire-who after accidentally killing his girlfriend- seeks assistance from a local Vampire 12-step program to overcome his addiction to human blood.

While I thought Vampires Anonymous would be a funny film about vampires it turned out to be quite silly. Perhaps it was the low budget filming, that stupid motor-cycle with fourteen mirrors on it the 'hero' rides, or the really lame dialog, but I just didn't find Vampire's Anonymous to be funny.

If bad acting, and stupid gags about sheep are your bag, you'll like Vampires Anonymous. Otherwise, I'd stick with halfway decent vampire flicks like like Underworld or Blade