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Veins [Kindle Edition]

4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (146 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $4.99
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Book Description

VEINS is a tragicomedy novel about 22 years of a man's life in the middle of Ohio. The first novel by Drew, writer of the long-running comics Toothpaste For Dinner and Married To The Sea. Dark, weird, and funny.

"For my whole life I've had 0 friends or 1 friend, which sounds sad. But in binary, that's all of them."

"Sandpaper is like life. If it wasn't rough, it wouldn't be worth anything."

Product Details

  • File Size: 309 KB
  • Print Length: 147 pages
  • Publisher: Sharing Machine; Second edition (April 6, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004W8D8JQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #436,005 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
49 of 51 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, and sad, and hilarious again. Mostly sad. April 18, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Mostly I think of Drew as a joke machine. Every night at midnight he posts a perfect blast of the funny at, with an additional funnyblast at The man is hilarious. He's been promoting Veins as a comic novel. Which it is, in as much as it's a novel and it's funny.

But Veins is sad. God, it's sad. It's heartbreaking. It had me rippling with laughter, and I like it for that. I love it for the heartbreak.
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42 of 44 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Story of Identity and Loneliness April 20, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
After reading "Veins" I didn't know what to think. There are moments of hilarity that make you laugh out loud, but there are also moments of sadness that broke my heart. It took me a couple days of reflecting to finally determine my ultimate conclusion. Drew uses a series of vignettes to explore how identity, or lack there of, effects one mans life. The protagonist dreams of being known as "Dude" yet is denied this act of recognition, instead he is known by a name he utterly rejects, Veins. Its in this failure to assert a self made identity and rejection of a communal one that shape Dude. Because he has no identity he also never finds a social standing, a place to fit, either in school or with his family. Ultimately his perceptions of others are made based on external conditions, he does not know of anyone's internal motivations that are not explicitly show externally, nor does he seem to know that he his missing this form of empathy. This allows him to form an odd amorality, his moral view is always skewed, not noticeable at first, but always leading to consequences down the road. Its this that ultimately marks the work as tragic, Dude has an inability to see outside of himself and is ignorant that this is a singular condition.
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51 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Far more than you expect April 21, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
VEINS is a surprising book. When I bought it, I expected it to be a humor book, as described. While it was absolutely hilarious, I wasn't expecting it to be anything more than that. When I put the book down, however, I felt like I had just gotten up from a conversation with an actual person telling me their life story. I could envision the main character across from me, maybe at a booth in an Arby's, grabbing curly fries out of a bag with stubby fingers and dipping them into a jar of arby's sauce. I could imagine him rattling off all of his ideas and observations about the world, never bothering to make eye contact. It was a moving, personal experience. You don't only read a book when you read VEINS. You get to know a person. A person who sees the world differently than anyone else. A person desperately trying to understand a world that doesn't try to understand him. I cannot emphasize this enough: VEINS is far more than you expect. Read it.
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Required reading for the American male. Really. June 21, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Lord knows I came to this book a skeptic. I've known Drew to be funny from his comics for years, but that's a much different skill set. And this is my first Amazon review, not because I know the author (I don't), but because this is the first book that has really needed it.

Why? Simply because "Veins" is a hilarious and heartbreaking meditation on loneliness that should be read immediately by every American boy from 14 to 40.

Written smartly in 2- and 3-page diary-style vignettes, from the view of a narrator who barely understands how profoundly bad his decisions are, each cringe-worthy paragraph obliquely reinforces the desperate importance of having someone - anyone - to share your thoughts with. By the end of the book you will want to thank everyone on your speed dial, one by one, for providing you with whatever self-awareness you have.

The writing is very genuine, very personal, and quite relatable. Our eponymous narrator means well, making his misadventures that much harder to take. He even bleeps his own profanity! We all know people like this, and there but for the grace of God go we.

That's enough for now. The book is worth your $5, regardless of your demographic. And after all this, the cruel irony is that a person like Veins, who could use it most of all, would never be able to afford a Kindle to read it on.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A haunting book April 22, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
We know the list. We have heard it so many times it does not mean anything.

The poor
The hungry
The weeping
The hated
The ostracized
The insulted
The scorned

In Veins, the list means something.

The narrator of Veins is a man who meets six of the seven beatitudes found in the Gospel of Luke.

The one beatitude M.R. does not match is weeping.M.R. feels his suffering too much to leap for joy, but his optimism is far brighter than many who are rich, well-fed, and well spoken of.

The sorrow of Veins would be unapproachable without comic touches, and here the novella does not lack. Veins is written by "Drew," the hilarious author of Toothpaste for Dinner.

Veins is the most haunting piece of fiction I have read in some time. Highly recommended! Buy it for the Kindle today!
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Where's that weed! April 22, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
This book is pretty great. It had me laughing the whole time. You really learn some great life lessons from it. Example: Where to get the best free things, that GED's are a better option than torture, always avoid cops, and to bury your rap tapes.
I bought the hard copy. It's obviously the better deal (free paper).
Great job, Drew!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Twisted and hilarious.
If you have a dark sense of humor, can stand heartbreak, and appreciate Drew's other work, this is a wonderful book for you. I greatly appreciate his writing and sensibilities.
Published 20 days ago by Kaxxie
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny and very dark
This was a very dark, very funny story. A quick read, and one that I'd highly recommend to someone who appreciates a little black comedy. Read more
Published 27 days ago by Alex Offer
5.0 out of 5 stars Tragically funny
Fantastic character study about a man too naive and good-natured to know when he's being abused, or how to generally interact with people on a day-to-day basis. Loved the slogans.
Published 1 month ago by Nadeem
5.0 out of 5 stars Insane
This book is beyond insane. I don't know how you as the author could tap into a mind this messed up and not come away feeling dazed after a couple hours of writing. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Srthomp
1.0 out of 5 stars I honestly believe that most of the good reviews are from people who...
This book is in serious need of sound professional editing. It isn't just the rough grammar and syntax, since once could argue that it is intentional because the main character... Read more
Published 1 month ago by Melissa Macgowan
5.0 out of 5 stars Sort of like The Catcher in the Rye
Very unique short story. Sort of like The Catcher in the Rye, but not so pretentious and navel gazing.
Published 3 months ago by Chris
4.0 out of 5 stars Don't read if you're looking for a redemption story.
It was a very sad story, almost hard to read. I felt like we were in on the joke, but he wasn't. It reminded me of She's Come Undone, without the happy ending.
Published 3 months ago by Mary Gallegos
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
satisfying in extreme.
Published 3 months ago by myke
5.0 out of 5 stars Veins is quite a good book.
I enjoy the music, the tweets, the videos, and now the book by Drew. This man is a national treasure. I'd pay for a hard copy of this book.
Published 3 months ago by James Watts
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Hilarious and awkward and significant. Drew is a genius everyman.
Published 3 months ago by MAX J PEREZ
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