Venus in Blue Jeans [Paperback]

Nathalie Bartle (Author), Susan Lieberman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 8, 1999

A landmark book offers a new dialogue for the next generation of mothers and daughters.

"Who knows what is going to happen when the hormones kick in at age sixteen and she falls madly in love?" says one mother about her daughter. Statistically, the answer is alarming: 65 percent of eighteen-year-old girls have had sex. Four of every ten sexually active girls get pregnant, most of them unintentionally.

Now more than ever, talking about sex is an essential rite of passage for both mothers and daughters. And in this groundbreaking book, Nathalie Bartle shows mothers how to help guide their daughters safely through the fears, intimacies, and sexual choices of adolescence. Combining stories of raising her own daughter with the voices of other families, Bartle tells us what today's young women urgently want to know--and what mothers need to tell them. Practical strategies and real-life examples help both parent and teen get the conversation right--encouraging trust, correcting misinformation, and emphasizing the importance of relationships and values. She covers:

When is the right time to begin talking to girls about sex?
How can you get your daughter to listen?
How can you get past the mutual embarrassment?
What six strategies have other mothers found effective?
How can you play a role in your daughter's sexual education--without encouraging her to be sexually active?

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In an era when 50 percent of all teenage girls have sex by the age of 19, discourse about teenage female sexuality remains remarkably sparse. With the important and fascinating Venus in Blue Jeans, Nathalie Bartle and Susan Lieberman turn up the volume on this hushed discussion by chronicling the way mothers and their teenage daughters communicate about sex.

Bartle conducted comprehensive interviews with 23 pairs of adolescent girls and their mothers. The girls, some from an inner-city public school and some from a more affluent private school, vary widely in their economic, ethnic, and social backgrounds, and in their interest and participation in sexual activity. The mothers, though demographically distinct, share a strong concern--and confusion--about the best way to talk with their daughters about sex and the accompanying risks of pregnancy and disease. The portraits are vividly drawn and the conclusions are vital. Bartle and Lieberman stress that vague discussions about the birds and the bees are not enough, and offer many tactics to help girls grow up with a confident, secure sense of their own sexuality. The authors urge mothers to encourage abstinence-based education rather than abstinence-only education in order to teach their daughters to think of their sexuality and sexual desire as a natural part of womanhood, and to follow their daughters' lead while maintaining an ongoing dialogue about sex. The compassionate advice and practical strategies Venus in Blue Jeans sets forth will help mothers of adolescent girls sort through their own discomfort and reluctance surrounding this issue and support them in the effort to see their girls safely to womanhood. --Ericka Lutz --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Based on a series of interviews with a diverse group of 23 teen girls and, separately, their mothers, this empathetic study deftly illuminates their fears, dreams, goals, frequent misconceptions and daily concerns as they navigate the often dangerous waters of female adolescence in the 1990s. The voices of both generations of women are honest and forthright, and nullify many myths about the mother-daughter relationship. Bartle, an Allegheny University educational psychologist, writing with Lieberman (The Real High School Handbook), reveals that while mothers may not always know everything their daughters are up to, they are very realistic about the issues and pitfalls of young womanhood, drawing on their own experiences and media portrayals of the threat of disease and violence. Their most common hopes for their daughters include "wanting the girl to enjoy good health, to develop positive self-esteem, to be well-educated, and someday have a satisfying career that would provide financial independence." They try to deliver the sex education their girls need to retain the freedom to reach these goals, with help from peers, schools, churches, girls' clubs and doctorsAbut, most often, not from fathers. With 30 years of teaching and counseling behind her (as well as her own raising of a daughter), Bartle writes from experience, and her never-condescending voice reports and comments on her findings with authority. Her advice on opening and using the lines of dyadic communication to shape the sexual choices of young women is frank, aware of differences in lifestyle and caring. Author tour.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Dell (June 8, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440508800
• ISBN-13: 978-0440508809
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.3 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,627,995 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The only book that talks about how girls deal with sex today, June 11, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Venus in Blue Jeans: Why Mothers and Daughters Need to Talk about Sex (Hardcover)

This terrific book is filled with girls voices. From girls that any woman or mom would identify with to the girls you knew at school but didn't talk to. No other book I've read so clearly conveys what girls are thinking about and dealing with. It gives new parents like myself something to work towards as far as communication goes and something to hope for in raising healthy, safe girls. I've never understood adolescence--even when I was in it. I'll be facing it soon enough with two daughters and I'm so glad and relieved to have this smart, sensitive book give me a leg up.