Women in positions of leadership in our society are often forced to choose between professional and personal relationships. Some men are intimidated or affronted by these women's power and accomplishments, while leading women can themselves show poor discernment, choosing male partners who insist on dominating and controlling their relationships. Author Barbara Wright Abernathy says that a new understanding of gender is the answer. Stepping away from patriarchal Old World Conventions, she draws on Native American traditions for her exciting premise: four out of five women are Earth Mothers--nurturing and others-oriented--while the remaining fifth is a Star Woman whose nature is to lead and inspire. Both types of women are valid, but neither will have happy romances or relationships if they do not find the right kind of men to compliment their distinctly different personalities and needs. "Venus On Top" will help each woman discover her own inner Earth Mother or Star Woman, teaching her how to discern, attract and keep the man who is right for her.
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About the Author
After graduating from Syracuse University and postgraduate studies at the Wetterhoff Institute in Finland, she parlayed six years in the fashion and retail industries into a successful career designing commercial interiors, specializing in optical interiors. Her business accomplishements have been acknowledged with an array of awards as well as financial success. She lives in Portland, Oregon.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Serious Advice for Dominant Women Seeking Cooperative Men,
By Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 109,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews (VINE VOICE) (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER) (TOP 100 REVIEWER)
This review is from: Venus on Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them (Paperback)
In the franchising business, franchisors have long known to look for husband-and-wife teams where the wife runs the marriage and the business . . . and keeps the books while the man follows her orders ungrudgingly until he drops from fatigue. If you recruit dominant males instead, the wife stays at home . . . and you get only one person working on the business rather than two. The only downside to these hard-working couples is that when the men hit their 50s, they often run off with a submissive female employee and stop working on the business. Smart franchisors help these couples sell their franchise businesses at that point to pay for the divorce settlement.
What's that story got to do with Venus on Top? More than you would expect. Many women are born to lead in their work, their businesses and in their marriages. Pair those women with men who want to lead in the same ways . . . and you have one leader too many. Pair them with a man who wants to follow and please them, and you can have a recipe for more successful marriages. I decided to read this book to gain more perspective on my great grandparents and parents . . . where in both generations the women led. The men followed silently in their wake . . . but not always happily. This book echoed one phrase the males all learned early in our family, "When the women are happy, the men are happy." Ms. Abernathy describes her experiences with three failed marriages and her conclusions about how women who want to lead at work and at home can find compatible males who will enjoy that kind of relationship. She also provides advice for those who are willing to be a woman who follows her husband's lead . . . but the primary value of this book comes for those who want to know how to get what they want . . . and know what that is. Much of the book is based on Jung, studies of ancient goddess-based religions, positive thinking and self-help methods. If you are familiar with those subjects, you won't find anything new in those sections. If you would like to learn a little in those areas, the material is accessible. Most women I know would call this a five-star book just for chapter 10, Training Your Man or Why Real Women Don't Do Housework. That section provides the best explanation I've ever seen of how to help men take on household chores in ways that will be pleasing to women. The essence of the advice is to provide hands-on demonstrations, answer questions, observe, correct and provide encouragement. Now, was that so hard? Men can learn. Every household chore that I do now was learned through that process. The book veers off in a few places that can be misunderstood by being too literal about what she says. Ms. Abernathy, like a large percentage of women, has a thing about men leaving the toilet seat up. She does go on in addressing that problem which really bugs her. This is a litmus test of a man's devotion to her. She also makes it sound like giving or withholding sexual favors in some random fashion is great for a marriage. On closer reading, I think her message is a little different from her words. The real message, I think, is to create a positive relationship through personal warmth and mutual sexual gratification that relies as much on flirting and surprise as it does on accommodating men's desire for sex. Overall, I found the tone of the book to be refreshing coming from a woman in her 50s. If something's important to a woman in a relationship . . . why shouldn't she be on top (which Ms. Abernathy means both literally and psychologically) in the relationship? I suspect that many younger women will wonder what all the fuss is about. Ms. Abernathy describes her philosophy with enthusiasm. I suspect she would be an entertaining speaker on this subject.
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
BUY THIS IF YOU DON'T FIT THE MARS-VENUS STEREOTYPES!,
By Steve Nakamoto "The Friendly Voice of the... (Huntington Beach, California USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Venus on Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them (Paperback)
In my search for new information on dating, romance, and love relationships, I've come across a real winner for women and men who don't fit the traditional Mars-Venus stereotypes.
First of all this is not a book that recommends that all women should take the lead (Be on top!) in their marriages. In fact, women who are more the "Surrender Wife" types should probably stay away from this book unless they want their belief systems shaken and minds opened up. But for women who are naturally dominant, this is a unique book with information and strategies for creating a happy marriage with a different kind of man than they were originally taught to desire. The fact is that there are some men who enjoy a strong, powerful woman and such a woman should not be discouraged from being her natural self in the relationship world. Instead, she should retain what makes herself special and look for a different kind of man who appreciates and likes the way she is. Women will especially like: * An entire chapter on how to train your man to do housework. * Interviews with men who enjoy being in a women-led marriage. * The 4 Essential Characteristics of a Good Man This book is an interesting and enlightening mix of solid spiritual principles and heartfelt personal experiences. It offers a simple but effective recipe for take-charge women who want to succeed in romance as well as career. It is a welcome break from the Mars and Venus strategies that don't apply in some romantic situations.
23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Some men wouldn't want it any other way...,
This review is from: Venus on Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them (Paperback)
I finally reached the point of giving up. How much longer did I want to make myself suffer? ~Barbara Wright Abernathy
Barbara Wright Abernathy is a true survivor of love. Her dreams of marriage and love were destroyed three times and in her new book, she speaks from a life of experience. She was born to lead and yet she still enjoys men opening doors and makes excellent points about the increased demands on a working woman. Venus On Top is a book for women who have grown weary in the unsatisfying presence of mediocre men. The type of men who are still floundering about trying to discover purpose or who have not yet come to the realization of love as a gift to humanity itself. These types of men can at times take you to hell and leave you there. They destroy you financially, physically and emotionally and then leave you to burn out or use up your resources and walk away, leaving you barren and vulnerable. Barbara finally found a man who could show love instead of destroying love. Barbara writes beautifully about her relationship with her husband and he seems more than willing to allow her soul's beauty to shine like the star she was born to become. She believes women are either star women or earth mothers. You can also enhance the good qualities of each female archetype. The shadow elements are enlightening. As she weaves stories from mythology and explains ancient goddess civilizations, she explores the possibilities of the modern goddess lifestyle. This goes beyond the basics of feminism and gives you ideas on how to allow men to pleasure you in ways you may not have imagined they could. I have to agree with the author about the erotic nature of a man helping with the housework. There is something exciting about a man participating in a relationship and caring for you and showing a desire to be a true partner. I have noticed that my husband loves to go the store to purchase food he thinks I will enjoy. So, while this book promotes the idea of a man cleaning the house, this might not be your husband's style. You may have more success hiring a housecleaner. Your husband may want to show his love in other ways. This book is mostly for Star Women who are in a relationship with a Comet Man (Was this pun intended?). This becomes more apparent as you read the book in depth. Comet Men are men who experience great pleasure from pleasing a woman and from loving a woman. They are the poets of the world, the men who make you breakfast in bed...and sigh... it is a thing of beauty. I do have to make a few comments about why a goddess should stop worrying about toilet seats and laundry and consider giving her sex slave his own bathroom. I mean common, all this power and money and the man can't have his own space? If a man hates doing the laundry, why force him to learn how to sort the laundry so he doesn't color your panties pink with red socks? I mean, at some point you have to realize that some men will resent having to do all the housework. Barbara does provide quite a few realistic guidelines like "8 Steps to Power" and even shares many "top secret" male fantasies. If you are thinking this book is all about pleasing a woman, then you might be surprised to find information on how to unleash your sex goddess so you can please your um "sex slave" and drive him crazy with your womanly powers. With all this said, I don't understand her comment about the idea of "learning how to please a man" being an idea lurking in our minds. To me, this is a good idea, not something to be tossed out into the cold. Do men really give love to get sex or are they getting love by having sex? Barbara also cautions against withholding affection and explains how this damages your relationship. The thoughts in this enlightening manual for "Star Women" will show you how to take charge of your happiness. If you have tried living the life of the submissive housewife and you are tired of being powerless and controllable, then this book could encourage a more peaceful life and you may discover your hidden female power. All relationships are unique and if your man enjoys being more submissive, then this book could encourage more romance and less stress in your relationship. If you are a working woman, this book may give you ideas about the type of relationship you have always desired. To me, the ideal man is the man who does the laundry without you having to ask. He knows when you need his assistance and takes pride in the power he has in regards to your happiness. ~The Rebecca Review
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