Customer Reviews

Venus on Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

In the franchising business, franchisors have long known to look for husband-and-wife teams where the wife runs the marriage and the business . . . and keeps the books while the man follows her orders ungrudgingly until he drops from fatigue. If you recruit dominant males instead, the wife stays at home . . . and you get only one person working on the business rather than two. The only downside to these hard-working couples is that when the men hit their 50s, they often run off with a submissive female employee and stop working on the business. Smart franchisors help these couples sell their franchise businesses at that point to pay for the divorce settlement.

What's that story got to do with Venus on Top? More than you would expect. Many women are born to lead in their work, their businesses and in their marriages. Pair those women with men who want to lead in the same ways . . . and you have one leader too many. Pair them with a man who wants to follow and please them, and you can have a recipe for more successful marriages.

I decided to read this book to gain more perspective on my great grandparents and parents . . . where in both generations the women led. The men followed silently in their wake . . . but not always happily. This book echoed one phrase the males all learned early in our family, "When the women are happy, the men are happy."

Ms. Abernathy describes her experiences with three failed marriages and her conclusions about how women who want to lead at work and at home can find compatible males who will enjoy that kind of relationship. She also provides advice for those who are willing to be a woman who follows her husband's lead . . . but the primary value of this book comes for those who want to know how to get what they want . . . and know what that is.

Much of the book is based on Jung, studies of ancient goddess-based religions, positive thinking and self-help methods. If you are familiar with those subjects, you won't find anything new in those sections. If you would like to learn a little in those areas, the material is accessible.

Most women I know would call this a five-star book just for chapter 10, Training Your Man or Why Real Women Don't Do Housework. That section provides the best explanation I've ever seen of how to help men take on household chores in ways that will be pleasing to women. The essence of the advice is to provide hands-on demonstrations, answer questions, observe, correct and provide encouragement. Now, was that so hard? Men can learn. Every household chore that I do now was learned through that process.

The book veers off in a few places that can be misunderstood by being too literal about what she says. Ms. Abernathy, like a large percentage of women, has a thing about men leaving the toilet seat up. She does go on in addressing that problem which really bugs her. This is a litmus test of a man's devotion to her. She also makes it sound like giving or withholding sexual favors in some random fashion is great for a marriage. On closer reading, I think her message is a little different from her words. The real message, I think, is to create a positive relationship through personal warmth and mutual sexual gratification that relies as much on flirting and surprise as it does on accommodating men's desire for sex.

Overall, I found the tone of the book to be refreshing coming from a woman in her 50s. If something's important to a woman in a relationship . . . why shouldn't she be on top (which Ms. Abernathy means both literally and psychologically) in the relationship?

I suspect that many younger women will wonder what all the fuss is about.

Ms. Abernathy describes her philosophy with enthusiasm. I suspect she would be an entertaining speaker on this subject.

In my search for new information on dating, romance, and love relationships, I've come across a real winner for women and men who don't fit the traditional Mars-Venus stereotypes.

First of all this is not a book that recommends that all women should take the lead (Be on top!) in their marriages. In fact, women who are more the "Surrender Wife" types should probably stay away from this book unless they want their belief systems shaken and minds opened up.

But for women who are naturally dominant, this is a unique book with information and strategies for creating a happy marriage with a different kind of man than they were originally taught to desire. The fact is that there are some men who enjoy a strong, powerful woman and such a woman should not be discouraged from being her natural self in the relationship world. Instead, she should retain what makes herself special and look for a different kind of man who appreciates and likes the way she is.

Women will especially like:

* An entire chapter on how to train your man to do housework.
* Interviews with men who enjoy being in a women-led marriage.
* The 4 Essential Characteristics of a Good Man

This book is an interesting and enlightening mix of solid spiritual principles and heartfelt personal experiences. It offers a simple but effective recipe for take-charge women who want to succeed in romance as well as career. It is a welcome break from the Mars and Venus strategies that don't apply in some romantic situations.

I finally reached the point of giving up. How much longer did I want to make myself suffer? ~Barbara Wright Abernathy

Barbara Wright Abernathy is a true survivor of love. Her dreams of marriage and love were destroyed three times and in her new book, she speaks from a life of experience. She was born to lead and yet she still enjoys men opening doors and makes excellent points about the increased demands on a working woman.

Venus On Top is a book for women who have grown weary in the unsatisfying presence of mediocre men. The type of men who are still floundering about trying to discover purpose or who have not yet come to the realization of love as a gift to humanity itself. These types of men can at times take you to hell and leave you there. They destroy you financially, physically and emotionally and then leave you to burn out or use up your resources and walk away, leaving you barren and vulnerable. Barbara finally found a man who could show love instead of destroying love.

Barbara writes beautifully about her relationship with her husband and he seems more than willing to allow her soul's beauty to shine like the star she was born to become. She believes women are either star women or earth mothers. You can also enhance the good qualities of each female archetype. The shadow elements are enlightening.

As she weaves stories from mythology and explains ancient goddess civilizations, she explores the possibilities of the modern goddess lifestyle. This goes beyond the basics of feminism and gives you ideas on how to allow men to pleasure you in ways you may not have imagined they could. I have to agree with the author about the erotic nature of a man helping with the housework. There is something exciting about a man participating in a relationship and caring for you and showing a desire to be a true partner.

I have noticed that my husband loves to go the store to purchase food he thinks I will enjoy. So, while this book promotes the idea of a man cleaning the house, this might not be your husband's style. You may have more success hiring a housecleaner. Your husband may want to show his love in other ways.

This book is mostly for Star Women who are in a relationship with a Comet Man (Was this pun intended?). This becomes more apparent as you read the book in depth. Comet Men are men who experience great pleasure from pleasing a woman and from loving a woman. They are the poets of the world, the men who make you breakfast in bed...and sigh... it is a thing of beauty.

I do have to make a few comments about why a goddess should stop worrying about toilet seats and laundry and consider giving her sex slave his own bathroom. I mean common, all this power and money and the man can't have his own space? If a man hates doing the laundry, why force him to learn how to sort the laundry so he doesn't color your panties pink with red socks? I mean, at some point you have to realize that some men will resent having to do all the housework.

Barbara does provide quite a few realistic guidelines like "8 Steps to Power" and even shares many "top secret" male fantasies. If you are thinking this book is all about pleasing a woman, then you might be surprised to find information on how to unleash your sex goddess so you can please your um "sex slave" and drive him crazy with your womanly powers.

With all this said, I don't understand her comment about the idea of "learning how to please a man" being an idea lurking in our minds. To me, this is a good idea, not something to be tossed out into the cold. Do men really give love to get sex or are they getting love by having sex? Barbara also cautions against withholding affection and explains how this damages your relationship.

The thoughts in this enlightening manual for "Star Women" will show you how to take charge of your happiness. If you have tried living the life of the submissive housewife and you are tired of being powerless and controllable, then this book could encourage a more peaceful life and you may discover your hidden female power. All relationships are unique and if your man enjoys being more submissive, then this book could encourage more romance and less stress in your relationship. If you are a working woman, this book may give you ideas about the type of relationship you have always desired.

To me, the ideal man is the man who does the laundry without you having to ask. He knows when you need his assistance and takes pride in the power he has in regards to your happiness.

~The Rebecca Review

Review:
Venus On Top is an easy and provocative read offering lots of insight and good advice from an author whom adversity has clearly taught some of life's most important lessons. A quick trip through history shows us that Goddesses ruled until male dominated empires and organizations usurped their power and stole their crowns. While men eventually gave up their swords for a seat in the Senate, men continued to dictate policy and procedure with little consideration for the "weaker sex" - father knows best, after all. Organized religion seems to appear as a major culprit in any historical account of the suppression of women's rights and the author builds a case to substantiate that point of view. While this historical section appears to have been carefully researched and might be of interest to those scholarly types who appreciate a sense of the past, I had a tendency to scan this material eager to get back up to date.

Typically, Web sites promoting relationships where the female is the dominant mate or partner rely more heavily on graphic examples of how a man's constant craving for sex can be used to a woman's advantage. When you consider that men seeking fulfillment of their submissive desires generally read these books and sites, the style and content is most appropriate for the audience. However, Venus On Top takes a kinder, gentler, saner approach, which not only reflects the author's point of view, but also seems more in keeping for a book designed to reach a female audience. This book represents a more palatable way to introduce a reluctant mate or partner to the concept of a "Wife-led" marriage or Female-led romantic relationship. However, while I found the author's account of this lifestyle to be both fascinating and informative, what I personally found most insightful was her account of the personal events that led her to where she is today.

After forty-seven years, which included three divorces and two bankruptcies, she found something that many of us (male and female) continue to seek - a way to break a cycle of self-destruction by following a path of positive enlightenment. To me, that insight is worth the price of admission. The clarity provided left me feeling much more optimistic and hopeful that there is a reward at the end of the rainbow, if we're willing take the time and make the effort to accept responsibility for our own happiness; by so doing, we control our destiny.

I highly recommend this book. It contains a lot of good advice and information. Whether you are dominant or submissive, male or female, straight or a little bit Rock `n' Roll, Venus On Top appeals to a wide audience on many different levels.

This book was given to me as a gift. A male friend had heard Barbara Wright Abernathy at a speaking engagement and told me "She says the same things you've been thinking". With the book in hand I also took the time to visit the authors website.

Have you ever heard someone say "She wears the pants in that family", or "She's one bossy/powerful/in control woman"? Well, that is the type of woman this book was written for. Barbara had failed relationships and didn't know why. This book details her experience and what she and her husband, Stephen, learned together. Relationships like this aren't for everyone, but there are a lot of us who needed someone to put the idea into writing.

No one talks about power levels between partners. Some partners argue all the time about finances, even though one is clearly more adept at managing money than the other. With help from this book, I can see where it's possible to have a relationship with clearly defined roles. Perhaps I get an extra vote when we're tied on a decision. Or he agrees to always check the 'Honey-Do-List' first thing on a Saturday morning. If you're a strong woman, it helps you figure out how you and your partner can simply clearly define your roles in the relationship.

It's been my experience that men love to please their women. This book just brings certain aspects to light and helps women to see and acknowledge the power we DO have..and how to use it in a healthy way for creating happiness in our relationship.

This book isn't about living with a Female Dominatrix or involving heavy 'kink' into your home life. If that's your choice, fine. But this book is more for the average folks - of which I am one - who would simply like to have their relationship be closer and more loving.

There are more of us powerful women out here than you would think! This book gives me food for thought .. and action. Thanks Barbara and Stephen!

Barbara Wright Abernathy has written a wonderful guidebook for women and men that offers a blueprint for a happy marriage and/or romantic relationship. Ms. Abernathy's message to women is to not be afraid to assert yourself within a romantic relationship-communicate to your male partner exactly what you want. Then show him how to give you what you want.
Ms. Abernathy's message to men is to not be afraid to give a female partner exactly what she wants--pleasing a wife/girlfriend can be a wonderfully happy experience for a man--especially within the framework of a romantic relationship.
Written in a friendly, familiar style, Ms. Abernathy's book encourages women to insist that their men treat them with deference and respect.
Men are likewise encouraged to be sensitive to their wives/girlfriends needs.
Women are encouraged to seek out male partners who will support them in all their endeavors. These men exist and are eager to provide their girlfriends/wives with this kind of affection.
This is a GREAT BOOK. It is very practical and reflects real world experience. I have found that the approach Ms. Abernathy outlines really works. There are many suggestions on how to put these principles into practice. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in enjoying a happy, long lasting romantic relationship.

I liked this book. It gives a good insight into the lifestyle and has an easy to read format. It is a best in class book

For the last five years I've been well acquainted with a middle aged couple, where the wife has read, and been determined to put into practice all of the suggestions in this horrible book. The husband is a very kind hearted person, who has always been one to pull his own weight, with the children, household chores, shopping, etc. But, no, that wasn't enough for her. The wife runs her own business, and has decided that he needs to buck up and do more. While she sits on the phone with her clients, he has to jerk around his own office schedule to meet her needs. I have seen him go from a pleasant, smiling person to a sad, exhausted, numbed robot. His wife has zero empathy for his needs, or those of anyone else, for that matter. But this book will probably sell well, as our society becomes more and more narcissistic. Sad.

I like how the author describes women with a dichotomy. I'm a star woman, not an earth mother. This helped me see how a lot of women are not like me, and actually helped me respect other women more. It's true that men who love women who are leaders have an utmost respect, as my boyfriend shows me. Now if only men lived up to those leadership abilities. If you like this book, check out AlphaDog, Get The Bitch You Want: A Man's Guide to Dating, by a Woman, because it's all about helping guys grow in leadership.

This book is interesting. The author's personal tale of her life journey is much more fascinanting than the description of the different types of women and how this affects their abilities to lead those around them. I did find some useful ideas; however there is a chapter in the book about the men's perspective that does not give the first person account but rather a generalization. I would have preferred to read what drew a man to the powerful woman (or women) in his life. Maybe the author, Barbara Wright Abernathy, will one day write a follow-up......