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56 Reviews
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128 of 133 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is This Book For Me?
Almost a year ago I realized that what I had been experiencing from my husband was emotional, phsycological, abuse and later on, I happened upon this book. I ordered it and while awaiting it's arrival, I was questioning myself as to was this book really aimed at what I had been going through, after all, there was NO name calling. I immediately went to the back cover for...
Published on November 27, 2000

versus
2.0 out of 5 stars cleaner copy
the whole book is filled with someones writing....( interesting for a bit :) )........but,very distracting when on almost every page. i thought there would be some writing in it but not the whole book....i think with this subject its better to have a clean copy...less distraction.
Published 12 days ago by mary beth larson


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128 of 133 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Is This Book For Me?, November 27, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
Almost a year ago I realized that what I had been experiencing from my husband was emotional, phsycological, abuse and later on, I happened upon this book. I ordered it and while awaiting it's arrival, I was questioning myself as to was this book really aimed at what I had been going through, after all, there was NO name calling. I immediately went to the back cover for more insight to the content of the book, when it came, and it asked several questions concerning your relationship. I knew after the first two, this book was for me and still is. There are so many types of and methods of verbal abuse that are so subtle, you wonder if the abuser is even smart enough to know what they are doing, but to my amazement and relief, I saw myself on almost every page. I am now proceeding in going through with a divorce, not as a result of this book, that my husband has eluded to wanting for the past year but won't follow through because he never wants to look like the "bad guy", too late. This book has been very useful in helping me to realize that I had lost my "self" and respect for and that in no way could I ever hope to regain any self respect or find me again as long as I stayed in this situation, not to mention what I was modeling to my children, which was in no way healthy. I must say, since I started standing up for myself and calling my husband on every lie he told, the abuse worsened as the need to control what was slipping away became stronger, he has been mad at me ever since I stopped believing all his put downs and promises I knew would never come to pass...........Oh well, I feel great about myself again even though divorce is never fun. This book gave me the courage to stand up for what was right and true by putting my life in print for me to see. The realization was phenominal and I'll be forever grateful. If you have the slightest suspiscion, get it, you have nothing to lose but everything to gain!
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82 of 86 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read, about a dark force that kills the spirit., May 29, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
I am recovering from a 10-year relationship with a man I loved and thought wonderful, who shared with me great world adventures and great times on many levels - but who at the same time was slowly, subtly, making me doubt myself through criticism, public humiliation, tuning out, rude remarks and sudden outbursts of anger. Because this was mixed with fun, adventure and "love", the total effect was confusion and - by the end of it - a complete dismantling of spirit. Patricia Evans' two books have guided me through a long (now 3 years) healing period, which even now is marked with a deep, unidentifiable pain - especially on encountering my ex-husband. The power of Patricia Evans' books lies in their specific outlining of what is actually happening in a relationship where one's deepest self is not honored or cherished. Any woman who is feeling an unidentifiable unrest about her marriage owes it to herself to read these books!
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48 of 52 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Insightful Book, June 2, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
This book was of great help to me. I realized there were other people out there that had experienced the same things that I had. Basically that I wasn't crazy. I was married for 16 plus years and leaving the relationship was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but the best for all involved. My daughters had become a target for his verbal abuse and now they are more aware that relationships are not healthy in that form. Their dad has become more aware of his actions, he has gotten better with time but as far as changing completly, I don't feel in my heart right now that it is possible. I have forgiven but life is to short and it is all about choices.....excellent book. I have read both of Patricia Evans books and several others on this subject.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THIS BOOK HAS OPENED MY EYES--HELPED TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER!, July 15, 2007
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This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
Because of a very verbal abusing/controlling relationship, I bought this book and bought I this book for one of my Birthday presents--what a wonderful present, the best one yet! It has opened my eyes in more ways than one. I highly recommend this book. Another reason that I bought this book is that since being in this controlling relationship for 5 years, I have had migraines and muscle aches 5 times per week or more that kept me bedridden! My self-esteem went from a healthy 10 to a minus 2 these past 5 years. Moreover, because I was "ill" so much, I did not exercise and gained 35 pounds. Eating had become my comfort, even sickness became my comfort. This book has helped to discoverer:
By ALLOWING this person to verbually abuse me and control me, it caused illness in my body and very often! I was tired of being ill most of the time. You see, I used my "illness" to gain control by:
1) Getting him to feel sorry for me so I could have my way for a change--I would not be forced to do what he wanted when I was "ill". (This "illness" method has stopped working in the last year).
2) I told my "illness" BYE BYE because it was controlling me! Now, I choose the healthy and honest way to control my life: "Stand up for myself with no need to explain myself."
3) I used the "illness" as an excuse to go to bed and "hide" from this person. Also, it was an excuse to not have to go to work so this person would continue to "take care of me." Now, I am walking 2 miles a day and physically and mentally I am healthier. I am getting in shape mentally and physically--I can go to work with no problem. And take care of myself with no problem.
2) After reading this book, I realized that I had ALLOWED this person to control me for 5 years and be verbally abusive to me when we were alone and in public. I have taken back my power now and I am now in control. Today, for the first time, I stood up to him and said "No" about something I did not want to do and told him what I CHOOSE to do instead. And I felt wonderful inside, my self-esteem went up quite a lot! YES!!!
If you are in a relationship or taking any kind of verbal abuse or control, I highly suggest that you purchase this book. I has truly been an eye-opener and life-saver for me as I learned that I had allowed this person to verbally abuse and control me, I gave him this power because I let him do these things. No more, now, I am in control of my life and my thoughts. This book is so very highly recommended and I believe it will help you. Also, may I suggest that you consider Louise Hay CD's" Self-Esteem, Stress-Free, 101-Power Thoughts", these have also been a big help to me and I listen to them often. May my story help others who are hurting right now, may you find the peace and love that you need.
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33 of 37 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that is truly an "eye opner", July 19, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
I have been married for 16 years as a verbally abused wife. For 15 1/2 years I just thought my husband was "mean and evil" until I saw Patricia Evans book in the bookstore "Verbally Abusive Relationship and how to recognize them". This book had my husbands name all over it and finally my eyes were opened to what I had been going through for so long. I am now in the process of getting divorced and am relieved to know that I will be getting my life back and living it as I please. Every woman must read this book.
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36 of 41 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW, July 29, 2004
By 
K. Howard (Nashville area) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
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This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
This book changed my life. I KNEW something was dreadfully wrong but I couldn't put a name to it until I read this book. I felt like I was reading my personal story and finally had the validation and knowledge that I needed to take steps to stop the crazy-making behaviors of my husband. We are not out of the woods yet by any means, and I may still end up leaving, but finally moving in the right direction started with this book.
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27 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BE A PERSON - NOT A DOORMAT, March 16, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
I am living with a daughter who has become verbally abusive and most ironically, she is in the medical profession. But she seems unaware of her abusive ways, constant criticizing, refusal to be pleased, temper tantrums. This book by Patricia Evans is right on target. The book needs to be read slowly and maybe in segments to fully appreciate its thoroughness and value to the abused person.
Although most of the writing is about marital situations of abuse, Ms. Evans states that abuse can come from anyone. I also have an abusive older sister. But now I feel I can handle these
difficult people in my life. This book is valuable, and the small
price makes it even more attractive.
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19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Verbal Abuse--Survivors Speak Out, September 30, 2005
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
I read this author's first "Verbal Abuse" book last year. It was the best I found on the subject. I just read her 2nd book "Survivors Speak Out." I can't say enough about how it gave me the strength I needed to begin recovering from verbal abuse. I'm a independent successful businesswoman, who learned the hard way how low grade consistent verbal abuse caused long lasting damage to my stomach. Both books are a "must" for any woman feeling she & her mate are "talking a different language" (see back cover of first book.)
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19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Educating Yourself about Verbal Abuse, March 1, 2005
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This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
This book is a good tool for counselors as well as people in recovery. It identifies verbal abuse in the many forms that it takes. It also gives insight on some of the patterns and dynamics involved as well as how some have turned their lives around.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Educational - it opened my eyes, September 22, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery (Paperback)
At the advise of a counselor, I read this book. I had been living this for all of my married life.Over and over I could relate to what others had experienced.
Not only did I become aware of why I felt like I did, I also became aware of how I was abusive to others. Abuse is such a subtle thing, and most of us never realize what we are doing to other people. I think especially when we are trying to protect and defend our own self from such abuse, it is easy to fall into
the trap of abusing.
I'm so thankful to have read this book. Several friends have read it also. It has helped our personal lives, and in some cases our marriages to get better.
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Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery
Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Releationship and Recovery by Patricia Evans (Paperback - February 1, 2003)
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