The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go [Paperback]

Patricia Evans (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2006

From the world's most-acclaimed expert on verbal abuse comes the first book that answers the question foremost in every woman's mind: can he really change? Combining practical applications with the latest clinical research with the trademark support and assurance of Evans, "The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He change?" shows victims of verbal abuse how to empower themselves, improve their relationships, and change their lives for the better.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Patricia Evans (Alamo, CA) is the bestselling author of four books and a highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker and consultant. She's appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine.

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Adams Media; 2 edition (October 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1593376537
• ISBN-13: 978-1593376536
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #64,691 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #83 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Abuse & Self Defense > Sexual Abuse
  • #85 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Dysfunctional Relationships
  • #89 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse

More About the Author

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? She has appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio, and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine. Patricia lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

66 of 68 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Finally! Understanding!, January 9, 2007

By 

Carol B. (Wilmington, DE USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go (Paperback)

It was difficult to read her book "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" because I cried my way through it. But as difficult as that one was, this one is enlightening. It's one thing to know that someone is abusive, it's another thing entirely to understand why. I actually felt sympathy for my husband instead of loathing - and that is a wonderful start. And with "The Agreement" that this new book centers around, I was actually offered hope. My husband is aware of what he does; he has honestly been working on seeing me in a different light. But it really helps our relationship now that I understand in what light he was seeing me.

40 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An important resource for determining if an abusive man can change, November 28, 2007

By 

Rolf Dobelli "getAbstract" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go (Paperback)

Communication specialist Patricia Evans explores the issue of verbal abuse in heterosexual relationships. She builds on her previous work in The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Controlling People by posing the question, "Can a verbally abusive man really change?" What is particularly startling about verbal abuse, Evans explains, is that in almost every case the abuser feels that he is the one being attacked. (Rarely, abusers are female, but such cases aren't discussed in this book.) Getting him to own up to his damaging behavior is not easy. Motivating him to change is even more difficult. Evans supplies tools you can use to determine if your partner is likely to change and a program that can help him do so, if you think he can alter his abusive behavior. Evans uses her book as a pulpit to preach against unqualified therapists, verbal abuse in all its forms and the male-dominated society that has made such abuse possible. But, her cause is just, and we recommend this important resource to anyone who is struggling to survive an abusive relationship and to therapists who are seeking solid information.

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars trying to get inside an abuser's head?, January 17, 2007

By 

Paula Christianson - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?: A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go (Paperback)

I felt like this book was trying to understand what they could be thinking, why they are cruel and controlling and how to talk to them in a way they could possibly understand. The authors' previous books talk more directly to the woman, helping her to understand abuse, change her actions and give her a tool to confront the abuser (a written agreement). In contrast, this book talks more specifically about the deadly ways that the relationship works- the toxic interactions, the abuser's wrong thinking and unrealistic expectations and how the abuser's soul was damaged. It's not an easy book to read- it dragged up a lot of pain and anger relating both to "how could he DO this? and "why would someone do this to him as a child?" But it was helpful on the recovery path.