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476 of 495 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally, it all made sense!, March 6, 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond (Paperback)
After almost 15 years of being married to an "Anger Addict" (as described in the book), I went to my doctor begging for a prescription for Prozac. After careful and wise probing, she gave me the prescription, but also strongly suggested I read this book. I read it on Monday, I filed for divorce on Friday. Finally, after years of trying EVERYTHING I understood why I was exhausted, hopeless, and no closer to the solution than the day I got married. This book helped me realize: It wasn't all my fault. I could never be perfect enough to stop the verbal "rages". He would have to be willing to seek counseling/therapy in order for the verbal abuse to stop (which he consistently refused to do). And, most importantly, it let me know that the verbal abuse really was doing serious, long-term damage to me as a person. I always thought if he would just "hit me" then I could leave. I learned he'd been "hitting me" (so to speak) for years. If you even THINK you might be in a verbally abusive relationship (it's not always obvious when you're in the middle of it), I highly recommend you read this book. I finally have a peaceful, content life: due in part to the courage and understanding I gained from reading it. And I didn't have to use that Prozac prescription!
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206 of 216 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
IF YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, January 21, 2005
This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond (Paperback)
buy this book! I was miserable, angry, depressed, anxious and withdrawn from the closest person in my life, my mother, and I wasted five years of my life for a monster. I gave up friends, my Mom and very nearly my life for this man. Finally I couldn't stand it any more and came on Amazon and found this book, which I read avidly, and which helped me chart my course for calmer seas. After living with criticism ranging from "You're worse than Viet Nam" to (said in a malicious, mocking tone) "Everyone loves you, everyone thinks you're wonderful, but I'm your only friend, I tell you the TRUTH" I finally started thinking; Wait a minute...I'm not a bad person, I love him, I always try to help him, make him feel better, do things for him, etc etc, then, after reading the book I realized, (BIG epiphany) that it was he who was wrong, not I. NOTHING I could do or say would make one whit of difference; this was not about the minutiae he delighted in finding, it was about POWER and ABUSE. This book, reading about other women just like me, and abusers just like him, was a revelation that motivated me to end my personal hell, and none too soon, because a few months after the End of the Relationship, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 uterine cancer. Yes, I do attribute part of this to the incredible misery and terror I lived in for so long; "disease" is, literally, a "lack of ease", and I had that in spades. I wrote in my personal journal and wrote and wrote and wrote and finally wrote my way out of his life forever. I lost the most precious thing of all, irrreplaceable, and that is TIME; my mother passed away last July and how bitterly I regret those lost years pining away for this Frankenstein when I could have been spending it with my Mom. Please, if you feel bad about your own relationship in any way, buy this book, it may save your life and a lot of grief in the process. Hindsight is always 20/20, sharpen your vision and your perceptions about your relationship NOW before you suffer any more...NOTHING is worth that kind of suffering!
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128 of 133 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
This Book Saved My Spirit and My Life, April 20, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond (Paperback)
Being the person I am, and desperately wanting to save my relationship with the man I loved, I picked up this book to find out how I could change myself after my husband accused me of being verbally abusive. What I found out was that *I* was actually the victim of a severe verbal abuser. EVERY aspect of verbal abuse described in this book has been used on me by this man, and I thought that I was the one with the problem - he convinced me of that - it's part of the abuse, as you will be able to understand after reading this book. I left him, and life has never been better for me. I have a long way to go in recovery emotionally, physically, and financially, but by eliminating the abuse from my life, I finally have the confidence I need to heal. Reading this book saved my spirit, and sincerely saved my life. Verbal abusers steal everything important from you...do not let them...read this book and learn how to save yourself
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