Customer Reviews

A Very Touching Book...for Little People and for Big People

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I am a mother of two young children and like most parents I sometimes worry about the worst things that could happen to them: what if they were in a car accident, had one of those rare fatal reactions to an immunization, etc. It's a very uncomfortable to think about what if one of them were molested, and what if the abuser were someone they knew and trusted (and presumably I knew and trusted as well). Those who work in the field of child sexual abuse, as Jan Hindman does, tell us that most children are molested by people they know.

Parents like myself ask ourselves "How can I prevent this from happening? Is there any way?" There is no way to prevent such a thing from happening entirely, of course, but I want to do anything I can do to make my children be aware of their rights in regard to their bodies and their sexuality and that no one has the right to abuse them this way. If the worst did happen and my child were molested, I would want him or her (I have both) to immediately tell me or another trustworthy adult and begin the work of recovery.

Jan Hindman's book is an excellent way to introduce even the youngest children to the idea of their sexual rights. It goes through the proper terms for male and female sexual anatomy and does a good job of addressing the embarrassment often goes with these words in a humorous way. There are simple, no-nonsense cartoons of naked adults and children to clarify the body part discussion - very important because if a child is sexually abused he or she needs to name the body parts involved correctly.

What I like most about Hindman's approach is that she helps to clarify what sexual abuse is and is not by creating 3 categories of touching: good, bad and secret. Good touching is defined as touching that is pleasant and makes people feel good (hugging, for example); bad touching hurts people (eg, hitting); secret touching is just what it says it is - secret and it is not okay to keep this secret. The strength of this approach is that it can prevent confusion about what is and is not molestation. An example from the book is of a boy and his grandfather who have gone into a pond and gotten lots of mud and frogs in their underwear (yes, this book can be quite funny on the little-kid level). The boy is staying at his grandfather's house and the grandfather must clean the boy's private parts and so they take a bath together and they get clean and they go tell grandma about it and everybody laughs. Is this molestation? No, because grandpa did not tell the boy to keep anything a secret.

The book does an excellent job of repeating key ideas a lot so that even a 2-3 year old can get the main idea, i.e., to never keep a secret about touching. She also gives a brief explanation about why this kind of touching is bad, bringing in the idea of consent. This approach is more useful than the old "don't let anyone touch you where your bathing suit is" warning.

The only quibble I have, and it is a minor one, is that I really don't like the illustrator. The goofy pictures get the job done and are funny, but I think they're amateurish and ugly. This is just a matter of taste, of course, and the book meets the goal of educating kids about this very important problem in an entertaining way.

For the most part, i really enjoy A Very Touching Book. The illustrations and the humorous way that things are presented are great. Unfortunately, there is one page that makes me hesitate to use this book with the kids i work with. There's a page where the child gets really dirty doing something with Grandpa and then the two hop into the shower together. Sorry, but that smacks of common abusive settings to me. Many, many of my clients have been abused by someone in the bathtub. Maybe Grandpa in this instance was okay, but with the frequency of abuse in such settings, i cannot endorse this as a "safe" setting and have to skip this section with my kids.

Jan Hindman brings her vast knowledge of child sexual assault, offender profiles and wonderful humor together in this fine and funny book. My children and I would read four or five pages per night, before bed and talk about the book's content and lessons. Yes, grownups do get purple faces talking about this stuff and kids can help them through it. The very important definitions of good, bad and secret touching are taught sensitively and well. Secret touching must be the emphasis when seeking disclosures of child sexual assault and molestation.
My kids especially liked the fingerprints at the page corners. Children, of course, get to decide when to turn the pages! Important to every family's library and every school library should have several copies.

Wonderfully sensitive kids eye view of different kinds of touch...what feels good, what doesn't. Talks about bodies, private parts, and the problem with secrets. Good for ages 4 and up. Good for kids who have been molested as well as those who haven't. Encourages having a trusted adult to talk to. Helps with understanding when a touch is okay and when its not. Doesn't use scare tactics. Doesn't pathologize touch. Excellent. We need more books like this

This is clearly the best book to date for teaching children about the importance of avoiding inappropriate touch. Jan Hindman shows tremendous insight into the complicated and confusing world of child sexual abuse. Based on taking pride in their most precious possession, their body, this book helps children to respect and love themselves, rather than feel shame and fear regarding their bodies. This is a book to be read by adults and children TOGETHER. I strongly recommend that the "purple-faced" adults reading the book with the children carefully consider the introduction to the book BEFORE introducing it to children. THIS IS A "MUST HAVE" BOOK FOR PARENTS, TEACHERS, AND MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS

Ths book is a wonderful guide to teaching children about their bodies. One that will get through to them without scaring them. Author is obviously very knowledgable about the topic. What a way to teach a child. Excellent books! Buy them and read and teach them to your kids!

This book may be too much for children under 5 years of age, however, it does a great job of explaining the difference between a 'bad' touch and a 'secret' touch. Most books of this nature do not address this difference. My children & I liked the illustrations as they helped set the tone for the content in a way that young children could understand. This book was recommended to me by the Denver Children's Hospital Behavioral Sciences/Sex Abuse Specialty Dept. and I recommend it to all parents/persons in a position of trust seeking help explaining this matter to young children.

As a survivor of severe abuse, I read this book to re-educate my inner children about what touch should have been like in our family. I helped me to reclaim my body and I am so grateful to the author for this. I would highly recommend this book to anyone suffering from the effects of abuse in their childhood.

I love this book because it helps me teach my 5yr old daughter how to respect her body and keep it all to herself. I especially like the part that teaches her the reason WHY she should keep it special-to share it with someone when she grows up. Kids always ask "why" and it's nice to know what to tell her!! :D

I do have a couple of complaints. First, the book is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long. My daughter's attention is constantly drifting to other things or she is turning the pages trying to see what is coming next. Usually, I end up skipping over some of the less important topics like kids rights (I know it's important, but right now my daughter could care less about that part).

Also, I found it disappointing that the book did not mention specifically that Mommies and Daddies should not touch children "down there" without a good reason. It's obvious that kids need help in all sorts of ways: bathrooming, cleaning up, showering. But so often you listen to the news and find out that a child has been abused by their very own parent. I feel that this should have been pointed out in this book.

Other than that, I loved the book. It has cartoon illustrations of men, women, boys and girls and allows my daughter to see that people are different from one another. It is very tastefull and very informative.

I would deffinately recommend this book to my friends and other parents!!

I recommend this book because it meets my needs on so many levels. One, it's easy to read and understand. My 7-year old can read it on her own. Two, it's well-illustrated with comic-book style pictures. The drawings are bright, colorful, and accurately portray different body shapes without caricature. I like this aspect because I look to the future and see my kids comparing themselves to models and actors and then feeling like their appearance falls short of ideal. I'd like them to have enough knowledge to keep them from having a bad body image. Three, it's fun to read with my kids. This helps me create the atmosphere and attitude for my kids that there is no subject which is off-limits. They can ask me anything. Four, it's given me a sense that I've "inoculated" my kids to recognize "bad touching" if it occurs and to trust me enough to tell me. I can't be with them all the time. The best I can do is prepare them to be aware of their own security and to know what to do if something uncomfortable happens to them.