Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse [Paperback]

Mike Lew (Author)

Book Description

Release date: May 11, 2004

For millions of men on the path to recovery, Victims No Longer is the next step.

The first book written specifically for men, Victims No Longer examines the changing cultural attitudes toward male survivors of incest and other sexual trauma. Now, in this Second Edition, this invaluable resource continues to offer compassionate and practical advice, supported by personal anecdotes and statements of male survivors. Victims No Longer helps survivors to:

• Identify and validate their childhood experiences
• Explore strategies of survival and healing
• Work through issues such as trust, intimacy, and sexual confusion
• Establish a support network for continued personal recovery
• Make choices that aren't determined by abuse

Psychotherapist Mike Lew has worked with thousands of men and women in their healing from the effects of childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical violence, emotional abuse, and neglect. The development of strategies for recovery from incest and other abuse, particularly for men, has been a major focus of his work as a counselor and group leader.

Thoroughly updated and revised, and including an expanded Resources section, Victims No Longer educates survivors and professionals about the recovery process -- speaking to the pain, needs, fears, and hopes of the adult male survivor.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Victims No Longer will remain for years to come the original resource manual for adult male survivors.” (Hank Estrada, P.L.E.A, the National Organization for Male Survivors )

“We finally have a book which can offer men support on their journey towards recovery and healing.” (Dan Sexton, Survivors of Child Abuse Program of Childhelp USA )

“Male victims carry a particular burden of shame. Victims No Longer helps to lift the burden.” (Judith Herman, M.D., author of Father-Daughter Incest )

“The most important resource for men healing from past sexual abuse. Comprehensive, compassionate and clear, it offers hope.... (Wendy Maltz, author of The Sexual Healing Journey )

“Passionate and compassionate , both speaking out on behalf of male victims and illuminating a number of pathways toward healing.” (David Fineklhor, Director, Crimes Against Children Research Center, University of New Hampshire )

“Accessible, moving, and validating... a beacon of hope for sexually abused men and their loved ones..” (Richard Gartner, Ph.D., author of Betrayed as Boys )

“As an Episcopal priest...I depend upon Mike Lew’s insights in my daily work.” (The Reverend Anne C. Fowler, Rector, St. John's Episcopal Church, MA )

“A touchstone of gtuidance, hope and understanding that helps therapists, survivors and their loved ones.” (-Ernesto Mujica, Ph.D. )

“Victims No Longer sits on my desk as a reference guide for both myself and my clients.” (Vicki Polin, M.A., ATR, LCPC, Director and Founder, The Awareness Center )

“The first book I recommend to new clients.” (Howard Fradkin, Ph.D., Male Survivor Retreat Chairperson )

“The definitive book on men who were abused. I refer other professionals to the book and make it required reading.” (Joe Amico, M.Div., CAS, CSAC, President, National Association for Lesbian and Gay Addiction Professionals )

“Victims No Longer breaks the isolation, shame and sense of uniquness that most male survivors struggle with. (Ken Singer, LCSW, Executive Director, NJ Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers )

About the Author

Mike Lew, M.Ed., a psychotherapist and group therapy leader, is co-director of The Next Step Counseling and Training Center in Newton Centre, MA. He provides public lectures, professional trainings, and workshops for survivors nationwide, and he has appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show," "Sally Jessy Raphael," and many other television and radio programs.

Product Details

• Paperback: 464 pages
• Publisher: Harper Perennial; 2 Sub edition (May 11, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 9780060530266
• ISBN-13: 978-0060530266
• ASIN: 006053026X
• Product Dimensions: 1.2 x 6 x 8.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #31,463 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #48 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Dysfunctional Relationships
  • #53 in Books > Self-Help > Abuse

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

70 of 70 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book for Survivors. February 3, 2005

By Mr. D. Lloyd

Format:Paperback

My copy of Mike Lew's book is well worn, most pages have sections underlined and notes written down the margins.

A lot of pages are stained with coffee, red wine and tears.

It's a book I still read a lot, five years after I first got it.

I am a Survivor of sexual abuse, and have recovered my life through therapy, and some hard personal work. But the personal work was so much easier with this remarkable book.

Mike Lew's understanding of 'our' problems is second to none and he expresses himself very clearly throughout the book. Don't think that this is just a book for professionals, it isn't. This is a book for everyone concerned with men who have been sexually abused.

I now work with other Survivors, and I always recommend this book to them, which is why I'm here at Amazon again; buying yet another copy so someone else can benefit.

Dave Lloyd

64 of 67 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars five stars isn't enough for this June 17, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

Mike Lew's book is the definitive book on recovery for males from childhood sexual abuse. When I first bought it, I was not even able to open it to the blurb page without feeling that finally, there was something that I could use to help...finally there was someone who cared. The book is hard to read. Hard, hell, it is, at times, nearly impossible, but it is also hopeful. Mike Lew is sure to include positive messages directed at the survivor, messages of encouragement and hope. I found myself with tears in my eyes as I saw my story and my life on every page, but I now know that I will survive. If you need this book, first get yourself into therapy, then get this book and take all the time you need with it. Don't rush through it.

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars MYSTICAL MIKE----LIFESAVER LEW May 14, 2004

By John C. Ireland

Format:Paperback

As an avid reader all my 44 years, I never dreamed a book was a true mystical lifesaver! For years, I was threatened into a prison of silence after surviving multiple acts of abuse & carrying deeply hidden scars. I finally knew I had to deal with my horrific male abuse. Typical book addict, I searched for anything on male abuse & was shocked with the lack of materials. Writing for years has been a lifeline for me & through my "black blood" I carried my pain, hoping to hear others in the same boat. I finally found Mike Lew's VICTIMS NO LONGER & after several attempts, I finally faced my anxiety & purchased a copy. It came at a time when I was in the darkest depression. I had just lost both my mom & dad, 5 weeks apart in Fall 1998. Along with complicated grief, I again felt wounds reopened with demonic force. (I had finaly told my mom & dad when I turned 30 & they were shocked that people they most trusted, some loved, had me as a victim threatened in silence for so many years). I am a "myth breaker" in that I hid even from my loving & protective parents, afraid death threats were real-----I was 8 when it all started... I would be amazed as I truly began my healing journey accompanied by the printed caring voice of Mike Lew! One day I hoped to thank him in person for the infinite lives he has impacted with his literary lifesaving!!! His words reach out---heart & soul... The energy of Mr.Lew is empowering! My recovery has been rough at times & I finally had the courage to attend a Male Survivor conference held at Dawn Manor in the Catskills. I KNOW I would never had attended if I hadn't discovered Mike Lew:):):) The Male Survivor group's awesome power reflects Mike!... In September 2003, I attended the National Male Survivor Conference in Minneapolis where I finally got to thank Mike in person--- What an indescribable feeling! I hope his words reach countless oters suffering n silence as well as those who are in families & helping professions!! Join me on the Healing Highway coasting with Mike Lew, John C. Ireland:):):) Read more ›

35 of 38 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Helped me to understand, heal from the unfathomable August 12, 1999

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

When the circumstances of my life made it painfully clear that I needed some help, a good therapist put this book at the top of my reading list. Thank God! I'd always considered my childhood mostly tranquil; Mike Lew's book helped me face its traumas. It supportively helped create an emotional haven. It expertly piloted me, by brief sojourns, through the gales of my youth. Its examples revealed the damage which the reefs and rocks had long ago inflicted below the waterline, so I could be healed from it. Twenty years after my abuse, it helped me acknowledge the truth and recover, to accept responsibility for my adult dysfunctions while dealing with their deepest roots. If any adult (or older youth) ever had any sexual contact with you when you were a child, don't wait for your circumstances to force you to deal with it. That person can't hurt you like that anymore! You are no longer small or powerless! Fear not, buy and work through this book, and be healed!

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Book July 21, 2001

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

As a mental health professional, who has read numerous books on the subject and worked with many male survivors, this is without question the single best and most comprehensive book written for male survivors of sexual abuse.

Sadly, a previous reviewer of this book appears to place male circumcison in the same category as male sexual abuse, apparently, he did not appreciate this book as that topic was not discussed. Nor should it have been in the context of this book.

I cannot recommend this book strongly enough.

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Groundbreaking and Comprehensive May 28, 2004

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

The very act of reading "Victims No Longer" validates its title. If you have been a victim of child sexual abuse, it means you have taken the first step in your recovery. If you have not been a sexually abused child, you have delved into a subject with unending ramifications for all of us, providing a reason - rather a need - to examine and reexamine the very humanity of our lives. As author Mike Lew says, "Even the best childhood is no picnic," laden with confusing and conflicting messages uttered by larger and older people whose very physical perspective is beyond the reach of a child. So what happens to the abused child, and the sexually abused, whose very core of trust is shattered? And what happens to the millions of male children, traditionally raised to be stoic and unemotional? Here, in "Victims No Longer," there is a finally a safe "place" - a beacon lighting the way to recovery. With vast knowledge in both psychotherapy and cultural anthropology, Lew brings a multifaceted approach to a subject that sadly crosses every cultural and economic group. Filled with wisdom, and written in an easy, humane style, Lew's book is accessible to both victims and professionals. And the testimonies and focus subjects are heartrending and courageous, providing a counterpoint in style and emotionality. Resisting the pedagogical urge to quantify and qualify, Mike Lew knows that this is a subject that necessitates inclusiveness. Victims should not have to compete for the frequency and duration of their abuse; their abuse alone requires the tenderest care. As Lew says, "The most striking feature about sexual abuse is the similarity of its effects on adult survivors." And as he repeats throughout, "No one ever died of feeling...." "Victims No Longer," while depicting the basest in human nature, elevates us to the grandest - the ability to recover from bestiality and lead a healthy, productive life. Although this is an updated and revised edition, including a much-needed, new chapter on Clergy Abuse, "Victims No Longer" fills a significant gap in child abuse literature and, like most true classics, is both universal and specific and grows even more relevant with time. Read more ›