Victory Over Verbal Abuse and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Buy New
$13.13
Qty:1
  • List Price: $15.95
  • Save: $2.82 (18%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your Life Paperback – December 18, 2011


See all 11 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$13.13
$6.51 $5.43
Unknown Binding
"Please retry"


Frequently Bought Together

Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your Life + The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to respond + Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You
Price for all three: $35.39

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media (December 18, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9781440525803
  • ISBN-13: 978-1440525803
  • ASIN: 1440525803
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #83,505 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of four books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship; Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out; Controlling People; and The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? A highly acclaimed interpersonal communications specialist, public speaker, and consultant, Evans can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.

More About the Author

Patricia Evans is the bestselling author of five books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? and Victory Over Verbal Abuse. She has appeared on Oprah, CNN, national radio, and in Newsweek and O, The Oprah Magazine. She has spoken to groups throughout the US, Canada, Madrid at the "Commission for the Investigation of Violence Against Women" and in five cities in Australia. Patricia lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com.

Customer Reviews

I found in this book a clear path to recovery.
S Renee Allen
Victory Over Verbal Abuse is an extremely validating book for those who have experienced verbal and emotional abuse.
Katherine Mayfield
I ordered a series of three books after my sister suggested a book her friend had read.
Kim

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 105 people found the following review helpful By GirlScoutDad on January 2, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a wonderful, insightful, healing book. As a psychiatrist with 31 years in the medical profession, I wish I'd encountered Patricia Evan's work much earlier in my career, and I would recommend this book not only to victims of verbal abuse, but also as required reading for all professionals in training as counselors and therapists. It is that good.

The strengths of the book include (1) a rich, insightful definition of verbal abuse, (2) a key section on what doesn't work in combatting verbal abuse, and (3) insights about what freedom from verbal abuse means and the steps to take along the path to recovery.

Evans defines verbal abuse as more than just name-calling and put-downs. Her definition includes any attempt by another (usually a partner in an intimate relationship) to define and assign motives to the victim. Thus, statements like "you're too sensitive" or "You're trying to pick a fight" or "what's wrong with you", are attempts to define, control, and pathologize the victim and would qualify as verbal abuse. Don't ever let anyone else define who you are, she advises. When someone else tries to do so, it is a reflection of their faults and limitations, and you are not to blame. A huge part of verbal abuse is, in essence, "brainwashing" - i.e., the abuser assures the victim that he or she loves them and knows best, giving out a confusing message to the victim. Awareness of the forms of verbal abuse thus serves as a huge antidote to becoming a victim because many people wonder what's wrong with the relationship -or what's wrong with them - without recognizing that the problem is a verbally abusive relationship.
Read more ›
5 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
63 of 64 people found the following review helpful By Katherine Mayfield on December 15, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Victory Over Verbal Abuse is an extremely validating book for those who have experienced verbal and emotional abuse. I've read some of Ms. Evans' other books, and found them to be very helpful in a practical way, but this book is reassuring and validating on a deep emotional level. The book confirmed for me that my emotions about being abused were common - that it's normal to feel confused and betrayed, to feel worthless, as if everything was my fault, and to even feel dread at the thought of facing the abuser. The descriptions of abuse and survivors' stories in this book parallel the events and feelings I wrote about in my memoir, The Box of Daughter, and firmly make the point that the problem in an abusive situation is not that the person being abused has it all wrong, the problem is that the abuser makes senseless, negative statements about that person in order to feel powerful.

Ms. Evans defines verbal abuse very clearly - whether it involves abuse by parents, bosses, friends, or spouses - and demonstrates how children learn it from their parents, often growing up to become abusers themselves. She shows that the shock and trauma of verbal abuse can be even more disabling than physical abuse.

Her words offer unconditional encouragement for becoming your own person and living up to your potential.

The book also offers clear guidelines and helpful tips for recovering from abuse, and includes a chart of symptoms, which I found very enlightening. A number of different therapies which can assist in recovery are described, and the second half of the book consists of a year's worth of affirmations designed to increase personal empowerment.
Read more ›
2 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
67 of 70 people found the following review helpful By Mack Mevac on November 21, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book is designed to raise you up, to dispel any disparaging words, to free you from the remnants of any pain, sadness and confusion that weigh upon your mind and heart. I loved the special process she describes. It is a way to comfort your emotional self, and I think it works! I also think it helps the damaged people whose emotional development was arrested in some way and who find that they have been putting someone down. So, for the Survivor, Victim or for the Reforming Verbal Abuser I think this is an easy, informative and healing book to read.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
26 of 27 people found the following review helpful By Observer One on December 20, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Patricia Evans gives the best way for thinking about abuse I've encountered as a therapist specializing in this issue. As a woman married to a man of a different culture and generation, where misogyny is a given, her first book was a lifesaver for me. Her responses to verbal abuse worked. This book is simpler and describes perfectly how verbal abuse begins and how to end it.

The women in 'my' domestic violence support group unanimously agreed that verbal abuse hurts worse than physical injuries. This was surprising until we unpacked the typical abuse pattern. Any abuse is about control and has nothing to do with anger. It usually begins with verbal abuse that is 'soul killing'. Trying to make sense of senseless attacks is exhausting. Making meaning of nonsense is impossible.

Victory Over Verbal Abuse describes how it begins in a home that doesn't nurture the child (usually male), where he is misunderstood and perhaps entirely discounted. When little children play, they create a world where their toys say what they want, feel how they want, and do what they want. Especially for someone who is neglected or misunderstood, total control is more than delightful--it's a lifeline.

In adulthood, this person wants and needs to recreate a situation of total control. If a partner doesn't think, feel, say and do exactly what he wants, his rage knows no bounds. Remember yelling, "It's not fair" when you were little? That's the feeling. She writes with empathy for both parties and doesn't make anyone entirely wrong, just frail and human.

In easy-to-read fascinating vignettes with clear explanations, as much fun to read as a novel, the author describes the process and gives a magical response to verbal abuse. "What?
Read more ›
23 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Customer Images

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search