Customer Reviews

Vietnam Wives: Facing the Challenges of Life With Veterans Suffering Post-Traumatic Stress

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I am officially an "expert" in combat PTSD with all sorts of fancy letters after my name, and I can say that Aphrodite Matsakis's VIETNAM WIVES and Patience Mason's RECOVERING FROM THE WAR [also available from Amazon.com] do more good than a planeload of folks like me. Nobody should have to go through it alone--not the veteran, not his or her spouse, not their children, parents, friends, employers, therapists. Healing (and protection against secondary traumatic stress) happens only in community--at least that's what I conclude from 11 years working with veterans. Both of these books are useful to not only their main audience, the veteran's spouse, but to veterans themselves and anyone else who wants to make their hearts wiser and their understanding deeper. I recommend these books frequently, and for years they were hard to find.

Identifying information on reviewer:

Jonathan Shay, M.D., Ph.D. is a psychiatrist whose only patients are Vietnam combat veterans in the Boston VA Outpatient Clinic. He is author of _Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character_ (available from Amazon.com)

This has been the most helpful tool guiding me in forming a close relationship with an friend of many years. The information here is essential. The author tells you what you must know it in order to understand your loved one and cope with stress-related behaviors. There are many helpful suggestions and resources listed. Author is an expert in Viet vets and PTSD. As a nurse with 20 yrs experience and a strong background in psychology, who has had a number of vet friends & coworkers, I knew a little about Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Yet this book has really made a difference - I couldn't have managed without it. If you are in a relationship with a vet or even contemplating one, get this!

This book is not just for Vietnam wives, but the veteran, his family and anyone who wants to be informed about PTSD. It examines how the disorder is developed and how it affects the victim and everyone around him/her. The goal is to gain insight about how PTSD can be recognized, treated and ultimately lived with in a manageable state. It is clearly written and can be understood by non-professional people.

This book has stories that I personally have never even fathomed. What an eye opener - I read this with an open heart, weeping the whole time.
I am very glad that I had read Nam Vet first because without some background this book can be a bit much. I recommend this book AFTER reading something more general like Nam Vet and An Operator's Manuel for Combat PTSD. All these books show the reader a world that the average person is just not aware of, teaches compassion and shows us solutions.

This book has helped me understand my mother better- she was a WW II Korea and Vietnam wife....should have read it sooner ...Also helps me understand my, unfortunately, "Vietnam" ex-wife a little better too. Worth the read for anyone wanting to understand the stress on those warriors left behind.

If you have a husband or boyfriend--even a father, son or brother--who seems unable to "get it together" in his post-Vietnam life, this book can help you at least begin to understand and identify the underlying reasons for his unreasonable and anti-social behavior. The isolation you may have felt and that you even may have to live with is explained in clear and understandable detail. There are many anecdotal stories that, taken together, begin to build a picture in your mind about your particular situation. Doing so aids in your own ability to both accept certain behaviors and learn to use coping techniques with your spouse that may make life more bearable. Certainly this book opened my eyes to the realities of the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) condition, helped me realize that certain problems were actually controllable, and did not mean the end of the world had arrived. Vietnam Wives: Facing the Challenges of Life With Veterans Suffering Post-Traumatic Stress

A must for all wives of Viet Nam combat vets, it was recommended by many in the veteran counseling field..

PLEASE READ revision BELOW. I MADE THIS REVIEW BEFORE I KNEW THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING MEN WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HONEST WOMEN. I was married to a Vietnam Vet for 18 years. I knew his problems were war related but didn't realize the depth of all of his depression and violent behavior. In the introduction of this book, I read what other wives have written and wept. I was one of those women that lived in a unsure and abusive world. A world that I had to protect my children from. My boys are adults now and the effect their father had on them before I left him has left scars. One son has gone on to study history and specifically Vietnam. He's the one with chronic depression and he is just finally understanding that his dad does love him, he's just numb. My youngest son still distances himself from his father. In time he will understand the truth.

Years have passed since my divorce. I have met another Vietnam Vet. He has some of the same symptoms. I will work on this relationship, because my Vet deserves to have someone love him and be there for him. I can only say that this book has helped me to understand the men of the Vietnam War era and appreciate what they went through for their country, for their families. I grieve for them and their horrid experiences in Vietnam. I have listened for countless hours to tales of unbelievable suffering.

I love my Vietnam Vet. I know that he is and always will be trying to overcome his past. I will be there for him to support him and I will not take anything personally except the love that he shows. He is a very sexy, strong, intelligent individual who experienced hell in a place he didn't want to be at a very young age. I salute him and all the Viet Vets who served and are still there in their minds. God bless them and their wives and families.

This is an awesome book that can only hit your heart if you have been there as a wife and a soldier. I see the mental anguish, and can only understand it because I have also experienced emotional trauma as a wife and as a child. Face those fears with someone you love and trust. A moment at a time.

UPDATED 11/06: Only a few months after reading this book and trying to understand this Vet I was "in love" with, I found out that he was a romantic deceiver. This PTSD man has ruined my life by taking everything I have. He lied to me about who he was and then tried to kill me, because I questioned his claims. Women beware of who you are "falling" for. Have them checked out before it's too late. This deceiver told me that he was a POW in Vietnam and a helicopter pilot that saved everyone. He is a hero only in his eyes. He is a liar, PLEASE BE CAREFUL, BEWARE OF MEN WHO DECEIVE. KEEP YOURSELF SAFE FROM ROMANTIC LIARS.

Great book,could be confusing for layman. Need to stress more spousal support. My spouse left me broke,no transportation on one of my anniversaries. Now she is being hidden by J. LeFever in Shadyside,MD. They are both members of Vietnam Vets Wives and are conspiring agaist this decorated,disabled combat vet-no wonder we don't trust women-in general they've crapped onus now and during the war. Jennie LeFever and Gerry Hall typify whats wrong between vets and sig. others. They think this is a big game and its deadly serious.