Customer Reviews

Violent Partners: A Breakthrough Plan for Ending the Cycle of Abuse

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I have been working in the field of domestic abuse for over 15 years.
I am impassioned by the work that I do.
I agree with Dr. Mills that violence is transmitted through generations. I have always been frustrated by the fact that as soon as my colleagues , therapists that I respect, hear that there is violence in a family, they immediately resort to
a . Not wanting to work with the couple together and
b. Encouraging the couple to get divorced, when in fact most couples do not want to separate and
c. The therapist will allign with the female (victim?)before even investigating the dynamics of what is really going on with this family.

Linda Mills' book Violent Partners brings all of the issues that I have been struggling with to the forefront. I, also, thoroughly appreciated the fact that we heard Dr. Mills' voice in retelling her own personal story. My hope is that through Violent Partners we learn to give every member of a family involved in violence a voice to be heard.

I salute Linda for the courage to come forward to say the things that most of us in the field know to be the truth but are afraid to verbalize.
I believe this book gives hope to families that are in violent relationships, and lets them know they are not alone. We understand why they might stay and we can work with them to bring their relationship to a safe place where they can stay together.

An excellent book that describes a great need for victims of domestic violence and their offenders. Restorative justice in any form should be considered in the criminal justice system, there is simply too much retribution and not enough compassion.

I have worked with domestic violence victims and offenders for over seven years and it is true that some do not want to separate yet they need a way to create a safe environment so a reconciliation is possible.

Ms. Mills suggestions should be considered by anyone working with domestic violence clients.

VIOLENT PARTNERS: A BREAKTHROUGH PLAN FOR ENDING THE CYCLE OF ABUSE is a different kind of survey of abuse: it shows how both partners often participate in the dynamics of abuse, and provides an 'out' for those who want to preserve relationships without that violence. Also included are tips for the men assaulted by women each year, and an overall response that addresses patterns of violent dynamics. Any general-interest or health library needs this.

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

Linda Mills is the founder of the Center on Violence and Recovery at New York University. Her focus on restorative justice and her book Violent Partners has paved the way for a change initiative in the field of intimate partner violence. This approach is imperative if we are truly going to have the impact the domestic violence movement anticipated two decades ago. It is fairly clear that treating the abuser as a criminal and the victim as a helpless casualty has only encouraged the cycle of violence to persist and evolve.

Anyone working the field of domestic violence or child abuse should read this book. Anyone who identifies themselves as a feminist could gain an important perspective in its reading as well. It is timely written and powerfully driven by experience, research and practice. This is one of the most important books on intimate partner violence I have discovered to date. As an advocate in the field I only wish it had existed years ago.