Customer Reviews

Virus - DTS

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(24)
3 star:		(19)
2 star:		(17)
1 star:		(34)

 

 

This has got to be THE worst movie I have ever seen, with the exception of Hardware.

In no particular order, here is what stood out to me about the sheer stupidity of the story: The russian woman who managed to stay alive for a week after the ship was initially taken over: She managed to cut off the power to the alien, so why didn't she destroy the computer it was inhabiting?

The crew: They allow themselves to be sent through a typhoon by a clearly unstable captain.

No background: Who are these people? The navigator (Jamie Lee) is ex-navy we learn thru a picture in the background. One guy is ex-navy also apparently. He mentions being a Ordnance Specialist at one point. So whats he doing on the crew? Apparently being a Ordnance Specialist makes one a mechanical genius capable of creating an escape device out of a rocket and spare parts.

Everytime the crew are attacked by a "monster" they attempt to shoot it dead even though it has no substantial body. Its also established early that the way it is kept under control of the alien entity is by a mass of cables dragging behind the "monster". So why not chop the cables? Would that be TOO easy?

The high point of the movie? The ending credits.

*
I cannot really ''praise,'' per se, the originality or story of the film ''Virus,'' because, in all honesty, it's not what anyone can rightly call a great film. Sure, it's visually stunning and fun and enjoyable and all that... but it's certainly not ''Terminator'' or ''Aliens.''

Even so, I'm somewhat puzzled that so many reviewers are having a difficult time ''relating'' to this movie, based upon how it plays itself out. I think they are missing one key element in the whole thing, however:

Just as ADULT reviewers have to be reminded that ''Santa Claus Conquers the Martians'' was a movie made for the tiny tot audience, reviewers of the movie ''Virus'' need to keep in mind that this film was based on a ''comic book'' story (...or as ''fanboys''-- current and former --would call it, a ''graphic novel'')!

Anyone who pays any amount of attention would realize that there is NEVER (or rarely ever) going to be a ''totally straight'' presentation of a comic book story translated to the big screen -- even if the story itself is treated ''seriously'' within the pages of the comic. (''The Crow'' was one of those rarest of exceptions.)

Keeping that in mind may actually make viewing this movie about an alien energy lifeform that....??? uses human bodies for ''spare parts'' ???...., and tries to kill them off more effectively by constructing cybernetic monstrosities???.... okay, so it's a little ludicrous, but again, I don't think it was meant to be taken completely seriously -- it's mindless escapism that's both fun and scary. That's Entertainment!

* * *

A team of Russian cosmonauts encounter a strange, malevolent electrical being in space just before transmitting data down to a research vessel, the Vladislav Volkov in the South Pacific, and inadvertently wind out transmitting the being.

In the meantime, the tugboat Sea Star is struggling with a large cargo in tow and gets caught in Typhoon Leiah, with some spectacular special effects on the storm in this scene. After loosing the cargo they must head for the eye of the storm in order to repair their boat, and meet up with the abandoned and derelict Russian research vessel. The captain claims the vessel as salvage and sets alight the crew's dreams of big money in the salvage fees.

When they power up the Russian ship in order to bring her in, they unwittingly release the electrical being, starting up all the monstrosities it had already managed to create before being shut down by the remaining survivor of the Russian crew.

The visuals are superb on the cybernetic creations, gory and disgusting; and the suspense as the survivors struggle to best the living, intelligent being is palatable and thick. Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Sutherland, and William Baldwin give excellent performances, and the supporting cast as well. Derelict ship, creepy monster, lots of action, sexy heroine...and lots of blood and guts give this tasty morsel five stars on my list. Enjoy!

Virus may seem like a god-awful movie at first, but with just a little work, you can make it surprisingly tolerable. Upon renting Virus, I decided to make it a little more interesting by playing a little drinking game. The game had the following rules (all based on the contents of the movie, incidentally):

1.) Every time the music swells for no reason whatsoever to heighten the "spooky" atmosphere -- take a drink.

2.) Every time Jamie Lee Curtis (she has a job on a boat -- and she's a WOMAN!) has an in-your-face confrontation with a male authority figure -- take a drink.

3.) Every time Jamie Lee Curtis is rescued by a male authority figure -- take a drink.

4.) Every scene Jamie Lee Curtis stops talking and starts screaming -- take a drink.

5.) Every time they pull the old "cat trick" (OH NO LOOK OUT BALDWIN CLONE -- oh, whew, it's just the cat!) -- take a drink.

6.) Every time the token Macho Black Guy says something macho ("I'm gonna mess you up, giant robot sucka") -- take a drink.

7.) Every time someone yells "It's gonna blow!" -- take a drink.

8.) Every time a rock-stupid supporting character hears a mysterious sound from an air vent and responds by sticking his damn hand in there -- take a drink.

9.) Every time a rock-stupid supporting character gets himself killed by attempting the previous, or something similar, or just because it's been ten minutes and no extras have died yet -- take a drink.

10.) Every time the characters enter a room full of billowing smoke, flashing lights, and random sparks (man, who hired the electrician for all these abandoned starships and boats, anyway?) -- take a drink.

Yes, Virus is an offensive mishmash of cliches, pounded sternly into something resembling a script, and filmed -- evidently in great haste -- for your viewing pleasure. If you like monster movies, Virus does have one thing going for it, and that's a pretty impressive Giant Robot Thing at the end. But the rest is swill. Trite, recycled, boring, warmed-over swill. You've seen this movie so many times you can probably -- oh, let's say -- make a drinking game based on it, without seeing the movie first -- and be right about almost all of it. Try not to watch it sober if you can help it at all. Incidentally, the movie does contain all these moments, in spades -- so play this game while watching Virus and your entertainment is practically guaranteed. Otherwise, you're on your own.

This movie was so bad, I actually fell asleep. Don't even waste your time renting this film.

About 30 minutes into this movie I turned to my wife and said, "Man! This is stupid!" But, the type of person that only needs a little entertainment to like a movie, I stuck it out. Mistake! It didn't get any better. Stupid story line. Horrible script. Bad acting. Hey! The special effects were at least interesting! That's where the 1 star came from! Avoid it like the plague!

Well a movie to me is entertainment - and this movie does fall in that catagory. I like Sci-Fi and Baldwin was added to the picture.

This is the third time I have watched it and have still enjoyed it - Just think there is always someone smarter than you out there. Weird life form.

Generally liked the characters - especially our bomb expert.
I have no problem following the theory that there has to be a total anihilation of this life form. The struggle to do so is still a tribute to man's triumph over his fears of the unknown.

Then we have man's ingenuity against machine's capabilities. And a definite scenerio of how man's greed is his own destruction. Oh yes, a tribute to man's compassion and partnership where it counts.

Acting?, well that is in the eye of the beholder. Yup! I will probably break down and watch it again sometime.

Have fun reading the reviews - it is a treat to see what others think. Judge for yourself.

Not bad - Recommended

I HAVE to say this was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Spend your money somewhere else.

I was disappointed in this movie because I really like Jamie Lee Curtis as an actress. And, I still liked her in the movie. However, the plot was ridiculously unbelievable, and the other characters were underdeveloped. Donald Sutherland's character was too unpredictable and used too conviently by the screenwriters to try to move the plot along. As for William Baldwin, I just don't think he's come along as an actor. And overall, the pacing of the movie was cumbersome. Definitely skip this one.

It's almost tempting to take the easy way out and note the coincidence between the title of this film and it's relative value to one's entertainment, but this is the worst film I've ever paid eight dollars to see, so it deserves more than that.

Regardless of what you may have read, the special effects, which should have been the saving grace of this monstrosity, are truly laughable, with bio-tech Donald Sutherland undoubtedly rolling his eyes when they shifted back to the Baldwin brother that was in this film, the bad one, because of the T2 meets Radio Shack via Aliens hyjinx of this film. I cannot pronounce this Radio Shack influence enough.

Normally you find yourself rooting for at least one of the characters, but I found myself rooting for all of them in this instance... to die! (ba dum tssch) It wasn't even an enjoyable cheering attempt, because I knew they would live, and I knew who it would be.

I am still trying to forget that I spend eight dollars on this. Please don't make the mistake of paying three times that, unless the additional features involve an alternate ending where James Cameron comes in and laughs at everyone. Get Aliens instead.