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Visiting Life: Women Doing Time on the Outside
 
 
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Visiting Life: Women Doing Time on the Outside [Hardcover]

Bridget Kinsella (Author)
3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)


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Book Description

June 12, 2007
When a friend who taught creative writing at a maximum-security prison asked Bridget Kinsella to read the work of one of his best students, she readily agreed. As a publishing professional, Kinsella was used to getting manuscripts from all sorts of sources. Who knows? she told herself. Maybe I can help this talented inmate get his work published. She had no idea that her correspondence with a convicted murderer serving life without parole would lead to a relationship that would change her life forever. Why in the world would anyone get involved with a prison inmate?

In this beautifully written, brutally honest memoir, Kinsella shares how she stumbled into a relationship with a lifer and became part of a sorority she never thought she’d join. Over the course of three years, she spends time with and ultimately befriends the wives, girlfriends, and mothers of some inmates at Pelican Bay. On this unexpected journey, she learns of the hurdles, heartbreaks, and hopes they have for their relationships as she experiences a connection with someone who helps heal her own wounds.

As the United States continues to incarcerate convicted criminals for increasingly long periods of time, our prison rolls swell to unprecedented levels—more than two million today—as does the number of women and children whose lives are thrown into limbo and who live for their next “visiting time.” Through the lens of her own unlikely experience, Kinsella examines those impacted by crime and punishment with keen observation, candor, and compassion.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When things go very wrong, fleeing the scene of the disaster is a time-honored response. But in this memoir cum social history, PW's West Coast editor Kinsella puts a new spin on an old story. When her husband of nine years announces that he is gay, she feels stripped of identity and purpose and heads west, seeking to start afresh. Launching a new career as a literary agent, she makes an unlikely friend: Rory Mehan, a convicted murderer doing life without parole at a maximum-security prison in northern California. But Rory is also a novelist, philosopher and doorway to a world Kinsella reveals in this book—one populated by the girlfriends, spouses and children of incarcerated men. The story is strongest when she turns the focus on these women and children. But there are also particularly poignant passages when Kinsella details her own struggle to come to terms with the fact that, at 40, she will most likely never have the children she had so desperately wanted. What becomes a romantic relationship with Rory raises core questions for her—a good Catholic girl and one-time honor student—about values and identity. Kinsella, though, seems less willing to go as deep as Rory or the women she profiles do in revealing those issues but still presents a powerful story. (June 12)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Bridget Kinsella is an editor at Publishers Weekly. Her work has appeared in publications such as the Chicago Tribune and Writer’s Digest, and on NPR and Salon.com. She lives in Northern California.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Crown; 1 edition (June 12, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307338363
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307338365
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #801,509 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

40 Reviews
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2 star:
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Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (40 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written memoir: bracingly honest & couragous, September 25, 2007
This review is from: Visiting Life: Women Doing Time on the Outside (Hardcover)
I think some of the negative reviews posted here stem from the fact that this memoir is so achingly honest that it makes some people uncomfortable when they imagine themselves in Kinsella's position and they lash out at her to push away the pain she's dealing with in this beautifully written and uncompromising memoir.

I'm not a soft touch with books (movies can often make me cry, but books rarely do), but i was teary-eyed reading Kinsella's memoir. The penultimate chapter, MOTHER'S DAY, is particularly moving and sensitively observed as that deals with the Get on the Bus program that brings children into prisons on Mother's Day weekend to visit their incarcerated mothers. This is a real heart-breaker with sobering facts sprinkled throughout ("According to the U.S. Bureau of Justice, as of 2000, 1.5 million children in the United States have an incarcerated parent. That same study show that women are being imprisoned at a much more rapid rate than men; in the 1990s female prisoners rose by 106 percent and male prisoners by 58 percent.").

I'm also a slow reader but this book moved around with me from the moment I picked it up: it was with me on the subway, in the bathroom and by my computer at home. As it got closer to the end, I was reading it almost like a novel, wondering just how was this story going to end. Not once did i feel myself losing interest or wishing that Kinsella had done anything different (meaning I never found myself thinking, "Just get on with it" or "go back to..."). VISITING LIFE was a riveting read; very affecting and one that you'll want to discuss with friends.

This is an inspirational title that upturns many pre-conceptions from readers (especially the notion of how any woman could enter into a--even platonic--relationship with a man in prison). Kinsella's portraits of many of the other women visiting men in the same prison are haunting, sympathetic and initially as suspicious as most readers would be.

This is a story about Kinsella's process for healing old wounds that haunted her for years and hindered her ability to trust and to make herself vulnerable by making herself available for a new relationship. Impatient readers who anonymously tell her to "just get on with it" seem to miss the whole point of the book. She wasn't able to get on with her life and it wasn't until she found the perfect combination of a "safe" man (behind bars) who was also open to doing what he could to help her heal, that she was able to come out the other side.

This is an amazing achievement.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A fresh take on crime and punishment..., June 12, 2007
By 
Reader (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Visiting Life: Women Doing Time on the Outside (Hardcover)
Kinsella sheds light on a world many people have probably never considered: women who love men in prison. And she does it in such a way that is never patronizing or scandalous. I love how she juxtaposes the stories of the other women with the very honest account of how she herself fell in love with a convicted murder who was serving a life sentence without parole. This is a beautiful book; journalistic but personal, sad but hopeful.
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Opened up a whole new world for me!, July 11, 2007
By 
Peter J. Sander (Granite Bay, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Visiting Life: Women Doing Time on the Outside (Hardcover)
I wasn't sure just what to expect when I started reading this book, but I'd been intrigued by the press mentions. Once I got started on a sunny Sunday afternoon I read the entire thing straight through! This author opens up a world I'm not likely ever to see from my little suburban perch, and I was really moved by the stories of the other women that she met. And as for her story, I can totally understand her feelings. It is easy to feel like a complete stranger in our society if you don't fit into the married-with-kids mold that is all around us. Bless her for finding a way to work through her own feelings, and for being brave enough to share them.

Jennifer Sander
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