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VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think About Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment Paperback – May 20, 2008


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; NULL edition (May 20, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743258738
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743258739
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.8 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,929,940 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As Chethik learns from in-depth interviews with 70 men and a survey of another 288, sex, money, in-laws, styles of communication, the division of housework and child-rearing philosophy are the most volatile areas of the marriage relationship. No surprises there. But within those categories Chethik culls insights about the importance of these issues and successful strategies husbands employ to minimize the friction they create. For example, Chethik (FatherLoss) found that couples who divide housework satisfactorily are less likely to consider divorce, less likely to stray, less likely to say their marriages are unstable, and, for good measure, they have more frequent sex. According to Chethik, marriages pass through four phases—newlyweds, family times, empty nest and mature marriage—and he explores husbands' changing viewpoints as they pass through these stages. Readers will find the discussions of mature marriages most original and will also be encouraged by the level of happiness reported by so many men in long-lasting relationships. Chethik ends with a number of suggestions on how to develop a happy marriage that are well taken and offered with a generous spirit.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Neil Chethik is an author, speaker, and writer-in-residence at the Carnegie Center for Literacy and Learning in Lexington, Kentucky. His first book, FatherLoss, was published in 2001. He lives with his wife and son in Kentucky.

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
5 star
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10%
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See all 10 customer reviews
The stories are fascinating, and the research solid.
Robert Ferguson PhD
Since the time I finished reading the book, I have loaned it to the wife of my best friend and the wife of my next door neighbor.
E. D. Hance
I recommend it to many people who buy my book: "The Secrets of Happily Married Men."
S. D. Haltzman

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Robert Ferguson PhD on January 23, 2006
Format: Hardcover
"This is an extremely wise and helpful book. The stories are fascinating, and the research solid. The thoughts and feelings of husbands are presented with insight and compassion. Women will better understand men, and men will better understand themselves. I recommend this excellent book."

--Robert Ferguson, PhD Psychologist
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful By S. D. Haltzman on May 29, 2006
Format: Hardcover
Author Neil Chethik has written an excellent, thoughtful, easy to read and enlightening view of the world of married men. They say statistics can lie, and I was wary when I saw the number: 288 married men, I worried that the results may not reflect the "average" man who struggles with the challenges of husbanding. Quite the contrary, Chethik's results parallel all the major studies done about men, and reinforce some of the keys to a happy marriages that researchers have discovered in the last 20 years.

I was a bit worried at the beginning of the book, because it seemed like all the interviews were with men in their second (or more) marriages. But, as the book progressed, I saw more representation of first marriages, and, in fact, like it or not, many men are already in their second marriage, so why not use their "expertise" and experience as well. This vehicle ended up being able to be used to the book's advantage, because it provided input into more marriages--the ones that worked and the ones that didn't work!

Chethik's first book, FatherLoss, was a winner, and this book is the same. I recommend it to many people who buy my book: "The Secrets of Happily Married Men."
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Betsy Carey on February 7, 2006
Format: Hardcover
I've been married for 15 years, yet this book opened my eyes to all kinds of subtleties about my husband that I've never known before. And, since the book has men's point of view, my husband actually has been willing to crack it open. This is the rare marriage book that's actually helping my marriage.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By E. D. Hance on October 6, 2007
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book which explains how men think. It describes in detail the problems my male friends complain about. Since the time I finished reading the book, I have loaned it to the wife of my best friend and the wife of my next door neighbor. Both women have read it and have said it helped them deal with their husbands. I highly recommend this book to any married woman who wants to improve her marriage.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The world has changed for men--to a huge degree. Chethik gives them a chance to reflect on how things are working, or not, and they jump at the chance. Not only does the author lift the curtain, getting men to speak of their fears and vulnerabilities (and men WON'T talk about these things unless it's really, really safe from criticism and ever growing negative judgments of what men like, do, and indeed, are....) The level of self disclosure surprised even the author.

Clearly, many individual men are confused about what is expected of them, and then will appear to be confused. Many, many reported that their fathers 'had it much easier' as roles were rather clear in the past...and many men could perform those roles well. Both women and men knew what was expected...and they 'didn't get in each other's way.'

Now, it's all different and both men and women have difficulty discussing expectations and preferences--and the contrasts that Chethik found between the recently married and the decades old married men is rather jolting. It is telling that so many old men feel badly about the obstacles that younger men must deal with.

The book does a wonderful job of detailing how the transitions from traditional role marriages of the past to 'modern flexibility' are working out, from men's point of view.

Overwhelming numbers of men are open to many changes. If they have a clearer expectation of 'what the wife wants' there is little doubt that they will move in that direction, and often, boldly so.

In terms of the author's bottom line, he might say that in the absence of traditional roles, it will still be a big mistake to expect the man to be much of a wife or for him to expect that his wife will ever be much of a husband.
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