Customer Reviews

THE WAY OF THE SUPERIOR MAN

5 star:		(136)
4 star:		(37)
3 star:		(18)
2 star:		(21)
1 star:		(26)

 

 

I've noticed that the positive reviews of this book all are by people who say they've taken the advice, while the pans all have come from people who put forth a lot of excuses for why the book would never apply to them or contains advice unpalatable to them. I've received this same reaction from people to whom I've suggested the book or to whom I've read passages. Those who refuse to even try the advice in "Way of the Superior Man" truly seem unable to comprehend what richness of life they are missing.

Many reviews here have misconstrued the advice to say that the woman should not help with family income or other relationship- or lifestyle- work. Nothing in the book claims any such thing; but the book does offer a fundamental paradigm shift in identity for anyone in a relationship who will simply try the advice for even a single day.

This book rocked my world to its very foundation and changed my view of life at the most profound possible level. I was moved to tears (manly ones, though, of course) by the last three chapters.

I was amazed at how the book just kept getting better and better and better. Most self-help books run out of steam by the end, or leave a reader feeling: "Yeah, yeah, I get it already, I don't need to see every possible permutation of the patterns you've been describing for page after numbing page," but this book just keeps building and building in intensity until it reaches a mighty crescendo. At the same time, the language simultaneously becomes more earthy and more direct. The building urgency and impact of the message, couched in ever-more human, no-bull, language, turns every sentence into divine poetry.

Lines like: "There is nothing to wait for and no one to blame," spoke to me at the very deepest levels. And I was knocked almost out of my chair by the line: "You were born as a sacrifice." It is amazing how those six short words sum up the entire meaning of life.

The message for the reader, male or female, seems to be: Get off your ass and start making something special of your life and your relationships. This book identifies the deep truths about the healthiest viewpoints for the two genders to hold about their individual identities, and if thought of on a societal scope, it also points to the reason this nation is saddled with a leviathan government run amok in the Sysyphean task of taking care of all the self-proclaimed victims and professional excuse-makers who leach off this great land of ours.

I urge this book upon anyone with even a glimmer of surviving self-respect. If you apply it to your life, you'll never look back.

This book has made a great difference in our relationship! At the point of almost giving up after 29 years, my husband and I found this book. We read it together in bed at night. For my husband, it has meant a deeper understanding of who he is in the Masculine essence, being fully present. For me, it has meant a greater understanding of that Masculine essence as well as a deeper understanding of how my Feminine essence is more about radiance - my being is different than that of my husband - and the difference is beautiful! At first, the book hit me with some unusual insight, and I would say: "Wow!" Then the point shifts to the feminine and I would say: "What?" (because I am not sure I like what Deida is saying - sounds like it could be sexist, but it is NOT!), and then he pulls it all together in a way that is deeply moving, empathic and compassionate of BOTH men and women! David Deida cares about people and has a unique manner of stating the needs (AND desires) of both sexes, while honoring them at all times! He definately understands women! WoW! I love this book! I am excited for his future and mine!

"Way of the Superior Man" is my first recommendation to every male student who comes to me for guidance in spiritual relationships. Men are relieved to find that their feelings are normal and natural. The book helps men to find and reclaim their power in relationships in a compassionate and honoring way. My students come back telling me that this is the best book they've read in a long time.

The chapters are short enough to read in the bathroom if you aren't inclined to read very much. Deida doesn't pull any punches. He is direct, masculine and to-the-point in his caring presentation of his material.

Chapters on "Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier" and "Her Complaint Is Content-Free" certainly give information that I find brilliant and true as a woman. Men tell me that they have solved a large percentage of their relationship problems by following Deida's ideas and guidelines.

See the hardback edition for the "Look Inside This Book" The Table of Contents is fabulous.

Stacy Clark, MA

Boulder, Colorado

Firstly, I am a woman!! I read this book out of curisoity and was totally amazed at David Deida's insight into men, as well as women! In fact, I am almost lost for words!! What can I say - beg, borrow, or steal it, do anything to read it! It has helped me to better understand my man and him - me. We already have an wonderful close relationship, and this intimacy between us just deepens the more we understand ourselves, especially as two individual people manifesting very different energies, ie; the masculine and feminine. Learning to appreciate and celebrate these differences is what makes my life so rich and fulfilling. David Deida - you are the greatest!!

The book was not what I expected it to be based on a friend's recommendation, but still offers enough sound advice to be worth reading once. More importantly it does a very good job of clearly stating its intended audience & purpose in the very first chapters.

I'd recommend borrowing the book from a friend/library or reading up to that point in a bookstore to find out whether the book is for you.

If you are the sort of person David Deida is trying to reach with the book, then by all means it should be an excellent read.

I was raised in a family in which mom ruled and dad was the weak agent that always said "Yes honey". I didn't have any good role model of what a balanced man-woman relationship should be. Previous relationships failed and in those my girlfriends at some point demanded me to be more "macho" and less nice. They were very well educated and intellectual women, so it was difficult for me to understand this apparent contradiction. When I read Deida I was amazed. Some of the things he says are exactly the ones my girlfriends requested from me. They eventually dumped me because of my lack of masculinity. After reading Deida I decided to make some changes based on what he said. The results were outstanding. I'm much more successful with women (all of them smart, feminist, and intellectual), and things are changing for the better. I admit that some of his chapters didn't convince me much. But all the rest is very useful, especially if you didn't grow up with a masculine role model at home.

I read this book with my boyfriend as we are in the beginnings of a monogamous and committed relationship and wish to have a healthy bond on all levels. We read slowly night to night, digesting each paragraph, wanting to understand, and even like, this work. Conclusion: We did not find much rhythm in here to want to live our relationship by. Deida's findings on what a feminine woman is like is "dysfunctional" at best; I would advise a man to get away from this woman Deida describes, or set boundaries until "she" seeks counsel to get her metabolism and heart in order to accept a truly "superior masculine man". The mood swings do not rationalize what a man (or anyone) should tolerate, and I consider myself a "female" woman. What is described therein resembles a flailing woman in her immaturity who does not have her direction in place and resonates as being "spoiled". I don't find these characteristics "female" at all. Female is poised in her grace, dignity, confidence, strength and humility. She looks up to her man and knows how to listen, as well as speak. When she chooses and cares to speak, she does so with love, respect and care for how she is heard. There simply is nothing attractive to me, nor my boyfriend, about the female Deida has laid out in this book. There are about 10 chapters of the 51 that we liked. There were the helpful and succint paragraphs thrown in here and there that were spot on. For the most part, this book is filled with the author's opinions and his convictions. As a woman having done alot of work on herself, I found this book to be out right silly and possibly harmful for couples to follow.

I know I've just read a good book when 1) I want my friends to read it 2) I want to re-read it again after I finish. The Way Of The Superior Man does both.

David Deida makes it clear at the beginning of his book that even though the book title is The Way Of The Superior Man, this book is for the masculine aspect of a person, whether it be male or female.

I love it when a book opens my eyes to new horizons, helps shed insight on the mistakes I've made and the new directions I can take going forward. The Way Of The Superior Man showed me the differences between the masculine and feminine in a non-apologetic and revealing way. I had a lot of `oh, so that's what I did wrong in my past relationships' moments, and took home more than a few ideas...that actually worked when I tested them out.

The book is divided into mini-chapters, with one main idea per chapter. One of my favorites is chapter 47, `Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry':

"Although you and your woman are equal beings, you are very different creatures. If she has a feminine sexual essence, her core will be fulfilled when love is flowing. For example, she can experience difficulties in her career, but if full love is flowing in her life - with her children, friends, and with you - then her core will be fulfilled.

Not so for you. If you have a masculine essence, then your woman and children can be loving you all day and night, but if your career or mission is obstructed, you will not feel at ease. You won't even want to share much intimate time with your woman until you have your career or mission back on track.

Your woman's core is fulfilled by love. Your core is released from stress by aligning your life with your mission."

Buy this book if you want to better understand the masculine force, how it's constrained by the popular beliefs of society and how you can exude stronger masculine energy.

Buy this book also if you want to get a firmer grasp of the differences between the sexes and how you can use that to better improve your life and your relationships. But be warned, David tells it like he sees it, and like them or not, some of his ideas will challenge you.

"The Way of the Superior Man" is an OK book, and probably very good for a younger man looking doing a little soul searching. The chapters are relatively short and too the point, and the writing is clear and direct - like a "Superior Man" would write it, I presume.

However, having been through the wringer a few times in my life, I found the book to lack depth. It actually seemed slightly defensive in tone, which is appropriate in a way because of the "anti-masculine" messaging we're surrounded by, but it wasn't something that wanted to find in a book that is supposed to be about being "Superior", and standing tall. I admit that I struggled to complete it - all too often I would read something and think "Yeah, but..." or "It's not quite that simple..." or occasionally, "I wonder what this guy's wife or girlfriend would say..."

I'm not knocking the book, or its author's take on life. For younger men, its fine. But if you're into your late 30s or beyond, you may find it lacking.

Given to me as a gift, I can only thank the person so many times. David D. has a way of cutting through the BS & PC and getting right to the point. After having read Men are from Mars, Women from Venus, I thought there was still something missing. Well, I found it in this book!! If you are a male struggling, desperate to understand who your wife/lover is and who you should be...then get this book NOW! David doesn't sprinkle magic dust on you, he just tells it like it is. He is direct and it is about time!!This book helps a man understand how to be a "MAN", and have the heart, soul, and depth of Love for himself and his "WOMEN". If you really want to stand tall and be the best for YOURSELF, YOUR WOMEN, and the WORLD, then get this book and read and understand what David is telling us. For me, this was the book that allowed me to understand my wife, as though someone had just taken a blindfold off. To say that it has been profound for me and my wife is an understatement. This book helped me to know and truly understand more of who my wife is and how to honor her accordingly. It also showed me where I need to focus on who I am and who I will be. This book is for those who want to hear the truth and live their lives to the fullest and with passion. If you are a timid or shy man (I was not)in search of strength....this is your catalyst. It has given me more strength with proper focus on how to use it. Apply what he talks about and maybe you too can have profound changes in your life!