Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter [Hardcover]

Steve Dublanica (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 29, 2008

According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths. WAITER RANT offers the server’s unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he’s really thrived. "The other shoe finally drops. The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter’s life. As useful as it is entertaining. You will never look at your waiter the same way again–and will never tip less than 20%." --Anthony Bourdain, author of Kitchen Confidential "I really enjoyed WAITER RANT. The book is engaging and funny, a story told from my polar opposite perspective. I will now do my best to act better as a Chef -- and I dare say, I’ll never be rude to a waiter again, as long as I live."--John DeLucie, Chef of The Waverly Inn

--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Anonymity is tough to maintain when you want to do a book tour. Such is the case with Steve Dublanica, a seminary dropout and laid-off psychiatric worker who, in 2004, started www.WaiterRant.net, blogging as The Waiter. His brutal observations on waiting tables at an upscale restaurant he called The Bistro (outed as Lanterna Tuscan Bistro in Nyack, N.Y.) are expanded in this entertaining audio. Dan John Miller is pitch perfect not only as the Waiter—who devolves from woebegone rookie into jaded veteran—but also as his customers, co-workers, bosses and brother. Miller's vocal interpretation dovetails seamlessly with the material. He shines when the Waiter is dishing it out, but even more so when he's taking it. Miller's performance is enthralling during passages in which he reveals his crippling self-doubt, overwhelming sense of underachievement and acknowledgment that he's become somewhat of a jerk. An Ecco hardcover (Reviews, Apr. 28). (Aug.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

From Booklist

This anonymous work renders in book format a popular blog produced by a veteran waiter toiling in metropolitan New York’s high-pressure restaurants. Typical of bloggers’ output, this is a highly idiosyncratic, little-edited, narrowly conceived work; nevertheless, it’s readable, fun, and, for those unfamiliar with the sphere of personal service, highly instructive. Unlike the suave servers of Europe’s finest restaurants, American waiters rarely find a lifelong career path and present meals only on the way to some other unrelated profession. Customers can reflect human behavior’s extremes, and waiters confront both rudeness and parsimony. In these pages, waiters frequently engage in mutually destructive behaviors with chefs and abuse one another on a personal level. And waiters’ near-total reliance on voluntary tipping can quickly corrupt both the tip’s giver and its receiver. This tell-all is likely to spawn notoriety for the people who run the front of the house just as Anthony Bourdain’s journals did for kitchen staff. --Mark Knoblauch

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 302 pages
• Publisher: Ecco; Later Printing edition (July 29, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061256684
• ISBN-13: 978-0061256684
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.9 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (240 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #305,010 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

A seminary dropout-cum-mental-health-care worker, The Waiter, Steve Dublanica, waited his first table at age thirty-one. In 2004, he started his wildly popular blog, WaiterRant.net, eventually winning the 2006 Bloggie Award for Best Writing of a Weblog. He has been interviewed by media outlets nationwide, including The Oprah Winfrey Show and Today, as a voice for many of the two million waiters in the United States. The Waiter lives in the New York metropolitan area with his joint-custody dog, Buster, and is at work on his second book.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

83 of 91 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Office Space" of the Restaurant world, July 20, 2008

By 

Colleen M. Schneider (San Lorenzo, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

As I read "Waiter Rant", I couldn't help but think that this truly was a bit like the cult film "Office Space", but for the restaurant world. Parts of the book were just flat out funny, in that kind of way that Office Space is funny to those of us who work in the corporate world.

I found I liked "the waiter" from the beginning. He is cynical, he is funny, he is smart, witty and above all not going to take a lot of "#%*%" from you if you start acting like a moron at the establishment he works at.

In the book you get the real picture of what goes in the back, the tyrannical bosses, the mal-adjusted waitstaff, the psycho customers, the good, the bad and the ugly. There are stories of meat sent back one too many times, a roaming squirrel in the dining room, and the case of the coffee that just wasn't hot enough (until the waiter fixes that for good). As he says in the book "Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Waiter". Rule 1: Always be nice to the waitstaff.

I must admit, that I had never read the waiter's prize winning blog before, so I was completely new to his writing, but hope that he keeps up the writing and entertaining us for years to come, in whatever direction his life takes him.

Oh, and do NOT miss the 40 tips on how to be a good customer, noted in the back of the book. Not only are these written with humor, but are truly those things that many of us fellow diners wish that you would stop (ahem, hel-lo cell phone users.....we are trying to have a romantic dinner here and do not really need to know about your mother's kidney stones).

Great Job "Waiter", I would give you a 25% tip for this one, and a smiley on the check to boot :)
Wishing you much success with the book, it was a great read!

139 of 158 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So, a priest walks into a restaurant..., July 18, 2008

By 

Patrick Oden (San Dimas, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

I was at a nice restaurant with my now fiance. A man walked in with a small group and proceeded to raise a ruckus. He didn't like the table they assigned. He didn't like the next table. He got angry and firm, finally taking a table near the back despite the protest of the staff. Quite rude and quite thinking he was the only one in the restaurant.

When he sat down his mother, who likely taught him such behavior, said, "First you give them a chance to do it right, then you help them do it right."

We laughed out loud. Their assumption of what they were owed did not disguise the fact they were merely boors.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with such people every day.

But waiters and waitresses do.

The author of this book started out thinking he would like to help people as a priest. He began to study for the priesthood but left when the corruption and the scandals started getting too much. Had a degree in psychology and tried his hand in the mental health care business. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden. Stayed honest, got fired.

Wandered around a little. His brother got him a job in a restaurant. Also corrupt and scandal-ridden, but at least there are no illusions. Stays a waiter. Moves to a nicer place. Begins to write about his experiences on a blog. Then in this book.

That's the background.

The book is a memoir of sorts, but not a typical kind. It's anonymous. It also dwells on a particular setting and makes particular points along the way. It's a memoir with a mission, and this is to illuminate the often hidden world of restaurants. The Waiter, as he is known, touches on important concepts such as management, illegal immigration, rude customers, good and bad service, holidays, waiter revenge, hygiene, and assorted other topics. Each chapter has a particular theme.

Yet, these themes aren't at all obvious at first. The writing is that good. The Waiter is brilliant at showing not telling, that tricky art that foils lesser writers. We are given a story, not a mere rant. He is descriptive, insightful, observing, and honest. The themes are held within an overall story that is his life, a life that has many twists and turns and disappointments.

These disappointments and disillusionment become our boon, however. Because of his background, and his great capability, we are given a wonderful view into an often disguised world. The Waiter brings to bear not only his expertise at his profession, but also psychological and spiritual insights, making this book a surprising deep read. But never overbearing and certainly never self-righteous. The honesty sometimes ventures into the vulgar, but always understandably so. It's not only the story of a man trying to find his way and providing great commentary as he goes. It's also a manual of restaurant etiquette and personalities, becoming a mirror to our often unconsidered actions.

This really is a great book, amazing insight and amazing writing throughout. Profound and readable, all while dwelling on often mundane issues. I'm going to be recommending this to most everyone I know.

Now, I sort of wish he went back into the priesthood, or maybe tried out being a Protestant pastor. I can only imagine how good he would do looking at the convoluted world of church life. But, I suspect his mission is greater than that.

He's a waiter. He's really a writer. And this book should be bought. Brilliant book. Ten stars if I could.

49 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I like to think of myself as the 20% tipper..., July 15, 2008

By 

Senor Zoidbergo (Washington D.C.) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip--Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

I like to eat, dabble in cooking, read the usual food blogs, but hitherto reading the WR, I must confess that I have never heard of the WaiterRant blog or the mysterious Waiter. (One does however, learn the Waiter's first name by the end of the book. And more importantly, as I learned on wikipedia, the Waiter will shed his anonymity at 7:00 PM on Tuesday, July 29th at Borders Books inside the Time Warner Building in Manhattan.)

The Waiter details his beginnings at Amici's, where we meet the first of several psychopathic and dysfunctional managers, fellow waiters, and restaurant owners. He survives the baptism, and soldiers on as a manager at The Bistro for the next six odd years. He deftly handles the crucible that is The Bistro throughout a variety of situations; supervising the infamous Russell Crowe visit, deflecting Fluvio's rants and video camera spying, and handling the day to day obnoxious customers. Some of the chapters may have come from his blog postings, but perhaps the more faithful fans can tell me which portions were newly added.

After finishing the book, his rants inspired me to a bit of introspection regarding how to better treat the wait staff. I've asked for a different table other than my assigned table before. It's amazing what waiters have to put up with, and you will definitely appreciate them more after a good reading. Want suggestions on how to tip better? Then check out Chapter 9, ppg. 105-118. The book also comes with appendices on how to be a better customer (when ordering wine, don't sniff the cork), how to tell you're at a bad restaurant (just look at the employees' bathroom), and tips for waiters. And guys, if you're taking a girl out on a date, the Waiter suggests tipping at least 20%, because she will know.

My one complaint against the Waiter? 30 Minute Meals is his favorite show on FoodTV.