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Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power [Paperback]

Marya Hornbacher
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 1, 2011
For those who don't believe in God, feel disconnected from the concepts of God presented in organized religion, or are simply struggling to determine their own spiritual path, Marya Hornbacher, author of the New York Times best sellers Madness and Wasted, offers a down-to-earth exploration of the concept of faith.

When Hornbacher, a recovering alcoholic with bipolar disorder, began her journey through sobriety she, like many addicts who go through a Twelve Step program, was faced with the difficult task of finding her Higher Power. In Waiting, Hornbacher uses the story of her personal exploration to offer a fresh concept of faith for atheists, agnostics, and skeptics like her. She contends that, if you agree that you're not the biggest thing in the universe and that the universe does not, in fact, begin or end with you, this may be as far as you need to go for a 'spiritual experience.' Simply knowing that you aren't God can teach you how to wait.

In this beautifully written book, Hornbacher shows us that waiting is an art, requiring skills like patience, acceptance, and stillness. The trick of waiting is this: You don't always know what you're waiting for. This is the nature of the author's ongoing spiritual experience: She learns by doing, and she learned to wait by waiting—without knowing what for. Waiting becomes an act and can be a kind of spiritual practice in itself. Sometimes you do it because you know you need to do it, though you may not know why. In short, you do it on faith.


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Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power + Sane: Mental Illness, Addiction, and the 12 Steps + The Center of Winter: A Novel (P.S.)
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Most 12-step programs insist that connection to God or a higher power is necessary for overcoming debilitating addictions. But how does this work for nonbelievers? Best-selling author and award-winning journalist Hornbacher carefully crafts a memoir of her recovery from alcoholism to answer this very question. Connecting each step toward freedom from addiction to months of the year, the author shows how the path to spirituality without God can bring forth healing and wholeness. This involves a process of 'waiting,' slowing down, opening to the stillness and quiet, waiting for answers within. This form of waiting prepares a path for personal grounding that can make us self-sustaining versus needy. Hornbacher's version of spirituality, although without a God being, contains a high regard for the spirit of life and a deep faith in the value of connecting and sharing with others. Her personal experiences reveal the preciousness of self-acceptance and gratitude, and comfort gained through comforting others. An extremely valuable offering for individuals attempting recovery through 12-step programs while questioning God-centered faith and organized religion.

— Susan DeGrane

(Susan DeGrane Booklist )

Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power
Marya Hornbacher. Hazelden, $14.95 trade paper (200p) ISBN 978-1-59285-825-5 

How should an atheist approach the Alcoholics Anonymous program? Writing with affecting prose and remarkable honesty, Hornbacher (Wasted) examines the 12 Steps as a nonbeliever, wrestles with a process that promotes connection to a higher power that may not exist, and is able to find a sober and spiritual life that is independent of God. Arranged so the months of the year parallel the 12 Steps, Hornbacher takes readers through the depths of addiction to moments of sober but solitary reflection, and eventually toward a recovery marked by spiritual purpose and a desire to help others. An atheist referring to "spiritual steps, leading to spiritual experiences" may raise eyebrows, but the author persuasively shows that a personal spirituality is indeed within reach. This work may be invaluable for individuals facing addiction or a crisis of faith, or for anyone having problems squaring the practicality of AA with its religious language. The bottom line seems to be that living a healthy life in the service of others is spiritual enough. (June)

(Publisher's Weekly )

About the Author

Marya Hornbacher is the author of two best-selling nonfiction titles, Madness: A Bipolar Life and Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia; the recovery handbook Sane: Mental Illness, Addiction, and the 12 Steps; and the critically acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. She is currently working on a new novel and is active in the Twin Cities recovery community.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 168 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 1 edition (May 1, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1592858252
  • ISBN-13: 978-1592858255
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #30,097 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Marya Hornbacher is the author of the Pulitzer Prize-nominated national bestseller Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia, a book that remains an intensely read classic, and the acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. An award-winning journalist, she lectures nationally on writing and mental health and lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
(17)
4.8 out of 5 stars
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Written by someone who does not believe in God and has been through AA and the 12-steps, this book provides a working and grounded guide to spirituality. Reading this with an open mind, and not terribly concerned about the 12-steps themselves, I found Marya's viewpoint interesting, mostly different than mine, but informative. I pulled a few helpful pieces of information related to a daily practice and how to approach each day and other people. Her approach in breaking down the steps to follow one calendar year is refreshing and provides a nice landscape as each chapter begins with more personal prose on her own journey around the country at various times.

Highly recommended for believers and nonbelievers, regardless if you are in or have been in AA.

Update 06/09/11:

After going through the notes I wrote during the first reading of this book, I realized that something was missing for me. Even though I try (key word) to live a spiritual life, something is off in the daily routine. And then I figured it out. I was not starting off each day in the right mindset. I awake, and immediately think about the stress, what is not done, what is broken, what is wrong. The day has no chance to bring any good to myself or others with these thoughts clogging my mind. From reading this book, I know intellectually and spiritually, what I need to do each morning, and my work I must complete, to carry this through the day, and prepare for the next one.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
AA is not a religious program, it's a spiritual one. But to a newcomer, it sure looks like religion. God is mentioned in six of the twelve steps. However, the relief valve is in the phrase, "as we understood him," which means we can choose any conception of God we wish. And then there's that old AA cliche: "Religion is for those who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been." The nonbeliever can have a tough time when he or she comes to AA. Most don't stick around long enough to discover what Marya Hornbacher has. Hornbacher is the author of "Waiting: A Nonbeliever's Higher Power", which is a spiritual guide for the nonbeliever through the twelve steps.

The steps are more than a way to stay sober. They are meant to teach us how to live, how to become better people. They are a spiritual practice requiring action. They are the steps to spiritual transformation and Hornbacher expertly illustrates how to live a spiritual life without belief in a higher power.

It takes humility to accept that we don't know everything, that we don't have all the answers, and humility is an indispensible ingredient of a spiritual life. Hornbacher says it's OK to doubt - just accept it. Even believers experience doubt from time to time. Why, even Jesus, hanging on the cross, felt forsaken. Hornbacher believes that fulfillment may come from finding our spiritual sources here in the world, in each other, in ourselves, and in all that we give. Connecting with other people is what's going to fill that "God-shaped hole" that we addicts feel. After all, addiction is mostly the result of feeling isolated from the rest of humanity. We used in order to feel connected, but in the end, it only alienated us even further.

My spiritual batteries have certainly been recharged after reading Waiting even though I'm already a believer. And I know many people who claim to believe who would benefit from this book also. Yes, I'm saying this nonbeliever can teach us a thing or two about spirituality.

David Allan Reeves
Author of "Running Away From Me"
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars if only the Big Book had been like this December 9, 2011
By BarryTN
Format:Paperback
What a gift this book is to those suffering from addiction who have turned to 12 Step programs trying to escape our torments, only to find that the answer those programs offer is offensive to the skeptical rationalist. This book has offered me some hope that it is possible to recover without having to cashier my convictions. As an atheist, I thought I really had no place to turn when I was faced with the stifling religiosity of 12 Step programs, especially here in the Bible Belt.

Beautifully written, quite wise and a book I'm sure to return to many times.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars this book is Really Worth Reading.. for everyone
Marya Hornbacher writes about our Higher Power in words that appeal to this non-religious thinker. I Highly recommend her words.
Published 1 month ago by Ann Reindollar
5.0 out of 5 stars Hornbacher is full of wisdom
Marya Hornbacher is one of my favorite writers of all time. Having read all but one of her other works, I can tell how much she's grown over the course of her life. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Autumn
4.0 out of 5 stars great guide to personal discovery
it helped shape my thoughts on discovering a higher power. the author is challenged with both addiction and mental illness, which is my story also, being a nonbeliever, i was... Read more
Published 2 months ago by teresa
5.0 out of 5 stars Waiting
I had already checked this book out in paperback form from the local library. Marya Hornbacher is a very down to earth writer. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Kat
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful journal of a sober spiritual journey
As an atheist new to a 12-step program, I struggled mightily with the implied religiosity much of the program's literature features. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Brian P. Mullan
5.0 out of 5 stars I am loving this book
Thank you, Marya Hornbacher, for writing "Waiting." I've been "waiting" for a book like this for years. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Linda P
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful
I've tried to convince myself of a higher power on many occasions. It has never seemed to work. Other members say it is okay to have any idea of a higher power that helps, so I've... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Lampshade123
5.0 out of 5 stars the book that keeps on giving
I have been in recovery from drug addiction for 25 years (in NA) and as an athiest have always been challenged by having to constantly do the translation of the "he god" into a... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Ken Sherry
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing and life changing
A must read for anyone struggling with the conception of a higher power. This book has helped me so much and is a book that speaks to the "spirit".
Published 8 months ago by Kristina
5.0 out of 5 stars Best I have read
I found this very readable - this is an issue I have struggled with for most of a very long life, and felt guilty about having such a struggle. Read more
Published 14 months ago by K. Mongaraz
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