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Waiting for God

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Simone Weil (1909-1943) was a remarkable saint of the modern era. After being raised in a Jewish middle class family and graduating from the finest schools, she went to work in the inner city as a blue-collar factory worker. She once complained to the supervisor about a coal drill: "This drill was designed to break rocks. It was not designed for human hands" while illustrating the vibrating effects with her arms. She reportedly debated Trotsky on the living conditions of the proletariat into the ground.

Weil died of physical and mental exhaustion at age 34 after an arduous life of fasting, writing, and working in solidarity with the most downtrodden of society. Besides her amazing solidarity with the working class, it is Weil's profound writings that have established her legacy. Contemporary Albert Camus called her "the only great spirit of our time." T.S. Eliot wrote in his forward to one of her books: "We must expose ourselves to the personality of a woman of genius, of a kind of genius akin to that of a saint." In his essay titled, "The Importance of Simone Weil," Czeslaw Milosz wrote, "France offered a rare gift to the contemporary world in the person of Simone Weil." Waiting for God (Harper Perennial, 2001) is the best introduction to her spiritual writings, and what follows are some highlights from that work.

The first few chapters consist of letters she wrote to her friend, Father Perrin. Though one gets a better sense of how she felt and struggled daily living out her ideas, it is her four essays in the latter half of the book that show the most profundity and coherence of thought. Every page, nearly every paragraph has such significance, one cannot finish reading an essay without being ravished through the direction of one who knew the spiritual life as deeply as she did.

When I first read the essay "Reflections on the Right Use of School Studies with a View to the Love of God," I was having trouble picking up a case to read for law school. It seemed pointless especially since I had already decided to become a pastor rather than an attorney. But Weil showed me that "the key to a Christian conception of studies is the realization that prayer consists of attention." (p.58). She states, "Students must therefore work without any wish to gain good marks, to pass examinations, to win school successes; without any reference to their natural abilities and tastes; applying themselves equally to all their tasks, with the idea that each one will help form in them the habit of that attention which is the substance of prayer." (p.59) This explains why Weil mastered several languages including Sanskrit and a wide range of academic subjects: they helped her to pray more effectively. She exhorts, "Whoever goes through years of study without developing this attention within himself has lost a great treasure." (p.64)

In another application, Weil insightfully states that studying also helps one love his neighbor. She explains, "Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention." (p.64) Hence studying helps enable the soul to "[empty] itself of all its contents in order to receive into itself the being it is looking at, just as he is, in all his truth." (p.65) The immeasurable help that studying can bring to others is captured in this thought: "The capacity to give one's attention to a sufferer is a very rare and difficult thing; it is almost a miracle; it is a miracle." (p.64)

In the next essay "The Love of God and Affliction," Weil writes:

"The great enigma of human life is not suffering but affliction. It is not surprising that the innocent are killed, tortured, driven from their country, made destitute . . .since there are criminals to perform such actions. It is not surprising either that disease is the cause of long sufferings, which paralyze life and make it into an image of death, since nature is at the mercy of the blind play of mechanical necessities. But it is surprising that God should have given affliction the power to seize the very souls of the innocent and to take possession of them as their sovereign lord. At the very best, he who is branded by affliction will keep only half his soul." (p.69)

Weil defines affliction as the experience of "physical pain, distress of soul, and social degradation, all at the same time." (p.81) She analogizes it to a nail that God uses to pierce the center of one's soul, to leave the person as it were crucified, where he or she can experience God most intimately as Job and Christ did in view of God's apparent absence.

But Weil warns that amidst affliction, if one does not strain to hear an absent God in silence, or feel the beauty of God in the world's absolute obedience to Him, then the person remains like a slave with half a soul. For "sin is not a distance," according to Weil, "it is a turning of our gaze in the wrong direction." (p.73) In other words, losing hope is a greater sin than acknowledging one's feelings of abandonment by God. She elaborates that just as two strangers may be near but not together and two friends may be apart but still near, "God can never be perfectly present to us here below on account of our flesh. But he can be almost perfectly absent from us in extreme affliction. . . . That is why the Cross is our only hope." (p.75)

In her essay "Forms of the Implicit Love of God," Weil comments on four loves: of neighbor, the order of the world, religious practices, and friendship. Regarding love for our neighbor, she profoundly states, "The Gospel makes no distinction between the love of our neighbor and justice." (p.85) She explains that "the supernatural virtue of justice consists of behaving exactly as though there were equality when one is the stronger in an unequal relationship." (p.85) Thus a believer cannot show love to his poor neighbor if he assumes that he is reaching down or doing the impoverished person a favor.

Instead a believer must seek to reaffirm the dignity of this person made in God's image before seeking to help him. (p.88) Weil comments that "[i]t is not surprising that a man who has bread should give a piece to someone who is starving. What is surprising is that he should be capable of doing so with so different a gesture from that with which we buy an object. Almsgiving when it is not supernatural is like a sort of purchase. It buys the sufferer." (p.91) The beauty of the inseparability of justice and love is that it creates solidarity between rich and poor, and allows the coexistence of generosity and respect. In this way of "creative attention" we become God-like. Weil elaborates:

"God alone has this power, the power really to think into being that which does not exist. Only God, present in us, can really think the human quality into the victims of affliction, can really look at them with a look differing from that we give to things, can listen to their voice as we listen to spoken words. Then they become aware that they have a voice, otherwise they would not have occasion to notice it. . . . God is present at the point where the eyes of those who give and those who receive meet." (p.93-4)

Regarding love of the order of the world, Weil writes, "[T]he soul's natural inclination to love beauty is the trap God most frequently uses in order to win it and open it to the breath from on high." (p.103). She describes the beauty of the world as "Christ's tender smile for us coming through matter." (p.104) Weil however laments that too many treat the dim reflections of God's beauty on earth as the final and only reality (as manifested in luxury, art, science). (p.106-8) This locating the absolute in pleasure is the "crime of idolatry." (p.111)

On the love of religious practices, the thought most associated with Weil's contribution to spirituality is that "one of the principal truths of Christianity, a truth that goes almost unrecognized today, is that looking is what saves us." (p.125) She offers the illustration: "The bronze serpent was lifted up so that those who lay maimed in the depths of degradation should be saved by looking upon it." (p.125) Weil is adamant that "the will cannot produce any good in the soul." (p.126) She writes:

"That we have to strive after goodness with an effort of our will is one of the lies invented by the mediocre part of ourselves in its fear of being destroyed. Such an effort does not threaten it in any way . . . not even when it entails a great deal of fatigue and suffering. For the mediocre part of ourselves is not afraid of fatigue and suffering; it is afraid of being killed." (p.127)

To the contrary, Weil emphasizes that "the effort that brings a soul to salvation is like the effort of looking or of listening; it is the kind of effort by which a fiancée accepts her lover. It is an act of attention and consent." (p.126) In other words, "[t]he crucifixion of Christ is the model of all acts of obedience." (p.126) Thus, Weil exhorts, "it is at those moments when we are, as we say, in a bad mood, when we feel incapable of the elevation of soul that befits holy things, it is then that it is most effectual to turn our eyes toward perfect purity. For it is then that evil, or rather mediocrity, comes to the surface of the soul and is in the best position for being burned by contact with the fire." (p.125)

She distinguishes between morality, which depends on the will, and religion, which consists of desire, and concludes, "It is desire that saves" and again "to long for God and to renounce all the rest, that alone can save us." (p.127-8) Acknowledging the counterintuitive nature of true sanctification that is contrary to the commonly held view of it being a matter of sheer strenuous will power, Weil nevertheless exclaims: "There is an easiness in salvation which is more difficult to us than all our efforts" and "this waiting for goodness and truth is . . . something more intense than any searching." (p.127-8) She perceptively observes that "the notion of grace, as opposed to virtue depending on the will, and that of inspiration, as opposed to intellectual or artistic work, these two notions, if they are well understood, show the efficacy of desire and waiting." (p.129)

Weil's comments on friendship are brief, so I will be brief. She defines it as "a supernatural harmony, a union of opposites." (p.132) She explains, "In all human things, necessity is the principle of impurity. All friendship is impure if even a trace of the wish to please or the contrary desire to dominate is found in it." (p.135) Thus "in a perfect friendship . . .the two friends have fully consented to be two and not one, they respect the distance which the fact of being two distinct creatures places between them. Man has the right to desire direct union with God alone." (p.135)

She concludes her essay on the four loves with a few more precious insights only one of which I'll mention. She encourages people to cherish the certainty of one's hunger for God as invaluable even if one is uncertain of His presence. For the greatest argument for the existence of God, as with bread or water, is hunger and thirst. (p.138)

In her essay "Concerning the Our Father," Weil explicates the Lord's Prayer sentence by sentence. His prayer had special meaning for her because through it, she once wrote in her diary, Christ daily "descended and took her." I leave it to the reader to discover its riches.

No one writes of the ancient conundrum of why a loving God allows suffering more profoudly than Simone Weil. Indeed, "profound" is the word I would use to describe this book. You do not read this book, you experience it; and come to a state of awe and yes, even love for this extraordinary saint of our times. The paradox of Weil is that in her severe view of life, great solace is to be found--the solace of truth and wisdom when you know, indeed, feel you have encountered it. In conclusion, let me paraphrase the author: it is impossible to think about Simone Weil without thinking about God. Amen.

This is indeed a classic, but like many classics, it demands your full attention. The letters contained in the book make for fascinating reading, especially the Spiritual Autobiography. This is indeed the "easier reading" part of the book, but it gives you the sense of a person who values total obedience to God even if it marks her as an outsider. She is not afraid to be unconventional, as far as it concerns the institutional Church. The essays are a little more challenging, especially the lengthy essay "Forms of the Implicit Love of God," where I had difficulty along the way grasping all that she was saying. However, at the end, she pulls it all together brilliantly in the story of Electra and Orestes, where the importance of waiting on God rather than seeking is brought home forcefully. The final essay, "Concerning the Our Father" is classic, especially the last three paragraphs that point out the structure and the flow of this prayer and the effect it has on one's soul. The only reason I give this book 4 stars instead of 5 are for the places it seems to bog down, but that may be more a fault of mine than the author's.

This remarkable story of Simone Weil, a well-schooled, well-bred woman, who left all this behind to live an ordinary life. The road she followed is similar to St.Francis of Asissi, Mother Teresa and Gandhi. Simone Weil chose to live a dull, hardworking, life of poverty. In sickness unto death, she never remised from her choice of being where she believed she could do the most with her life. One realizes that Simone must have had something missing in her life to go searching in this manner, to leave her well ordered, social life behind and go into the depths of humanity. She literally allowed herself to be Christ to all she met, to bring God's heart to His people. Simone knew the true meaning of love and compassion, sometimes maybe to extremes. She gave with her whole heart, soul and body, not asking for anything in return. That is the true test of love. To love one another as He loved us.

I first tried to read this book decades ago, but could not get far with it. Then I read Iris Murdoch's, Metaphysics as a Guide to Morals, in which IM refers to Simone Weil and her philosophy. That took me back to SW, and now I find myself re-reading parts several times. For example, read what she says about carnal love and its several levels, from the purest to debauchery. Simone Weil answers the question that so many ask: Why do we? Simone Weil has one of the most penetrating minds one can meet, and her writings are a result.

I guess when one is ready for certain changes in one's life God leads us to those things that will best facilitate that change. Simone Weil has been a catalyst for a major change in my life. Her writings have struck a responsive chord in my life. Although some of her writings are difficult for me to understand, the underlying message is powerful. I found myself relating to her desire to discover the love of God in her life. I appreciated her soul searching honesty is wanting that encounter to be completely without deception, pretense or even pride. She so wanted to guard against a false religious experience, or siimply a social religious experience. Her descriptions of what it is to truly love another are profound. Her life is a journey that I want to follow. I looked up the meaning of her name in the dictionary. It means "one who hears." Certainly, she is one who sought to hear the voice of God. I, too, want to hear the voice of God without deception or pride. I honor Simone as a true religious teacher for me.

Simone Weil was the quintessential outsider, perhaps that is what allowed her to have such an incredible relationship with God. Through Weil's writings, the reader learns about a woman who knew the true meaning of God's Love, and of Life. Weil was God's servant, she never forgot that. She lived her life in the service of others, doing God's work. She loved completely, gave everything she had and asked nothing in return. Weil understood what it meant to be loved by God, what an incredible burden it is to be loved by One who is perfect when you yourself are flawed. She wrote about never truly achieving goodness, about how even the purest heart is imperfect, even the kindest soul does wrong, and it humbles you. To read Weil is to be humbled. It is a moving experience and an incredible journey of the soul. Weil speaks to us as a modern saint, the outsider we can relate to, yet one who remains so enigmatic. Her life and her words will touch you. Her example will inspire you.

Twenty-five years ago, I would have called this book one of the great religious volumes of the twentieth century. Now, instad of profound, I find it precious and peculiar.

Weil's attempted life of sacrifice, coupled with her willingness to be rescued by her rich parents each time the sacrifices seem to go too far, seem like the stuff of spiritual soap opera, not great religious vision. Her solidarity with the poor and the working class, while well-meaing, is ultimately a failure, and her attempt to teach the Upanishads to factory workers seems like comedy of the absurd.

Her religious writing is not much different. Full of extremes, and paradoxes, and sometimes unnecessary verbosity, she strives for solidarity with a world of which, as she clearly states, she can never be fully a part. This, to me, now seems a peculiar act of self-loathing, and her anorexia is only further confirmation of this point.

Perhaps she is pointing the way of how not to be a saint. Anyhow, the reading is engaging. Leslie Fiedler's introduction, now 50 years old, shows its age, and as a religious commentator, he was frankly unqualified to begin with.

So read it for the peculiar period piece that it is, and for the example of a flawed, yet highly dedicated life.

This book is so wonderful.

Please buy it.

It may convince you that the Cross is pivotal not only in the spiritual life, but also in the life of society, and more surprisingly--even in the life of the intellect!
The Cross is essential for the world and the mind as well. The Cross is life-giving.

And there are many other valuable and rare lessons.

I came across Simone Weil thirty years ago and was struck by her insight and wisdom. Now, having experienced both life on life's terms and the church universal as it is, I find myself deeply moved by this French mystic. Yes, the translated version of her writing is sometimes difficult to follow, but a careful, patient reading is greatly rewarding. Her deep spirituality is apparent at every turn and makes clear the difference between the constrictions of religion and the infinite possibilities of spirituality. I highly recommend this for others who find the limitations of conventional religious experience disappointing.