Customer Reviews

The Walk-Out Woman : When Your Heart is Empty and Your Dreams Are Lost

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Despite the title and picture on the front (woman walking away), this book encourages you to stay in your marriage and fix what's broken. It has 17 chapters, all worth your reading.

I got the most out of 1) chap 6: the Downside of Divorce; 2) chap 9: This Lady has the Blues; 3) chap 10: Different Walls; and 4) chap 5: Take Care of Yourself. I've given this book to all my very best friends, regardless of the state of their marriage. This Christian book has much to offer for both young & old marriages. Reading it can only improve your marriage and your own sanity!!

My husband liked the book too and insisted on doing the exercises. It's not a big put-down on the male race but a loving, Christian based guide to improving your relationship with your best friend.

Add this to your shopping cart. You will not be disappointed!!

Although I am a Christian, I have not come across many outstanding Christian books on marriage. I tend to find their views unrealistic, sugarcoated, or stereotypical, and their advice either biased or impossible to follow. (Is everything really going to get better if you just decide to submit to your husband more?!) This book exceeded my expectations. First, it has a correct, realistic view on humanity - us Christians are not exempt from sinning or immune to temptations, we also face disappointments, and struggle in our married lives. Read the excellent chapter "The Fantasy of Something Better": it shows you how anyone can start having secret yearnings about that kind, gentle man in the next pew, but also how flawed and dangerous those fantasies can be, and how to redirect your thoughts and actions.

Second, the book is compassionate and helpful without enabling victim mentality. It keeps you accountable for what you and your husband have or have not done for your marriage, but without judgment and guilt-tripping. If this is not a true expression of God's grace, I don't know what is! Third, the advice offered in the book is both plentiful, realistic and applicable. I can't overemphasize the word "realistic". The authors don't promise a magical overnight solution to your problems but the insights and encouragement offered will help you see what is wrong with your marriage and how you can start working on it.

If you are feeling restless and disappointed in your marriage, I highly recommend this book. Even if you don't have any major problems, this book is worth reading and learning from.

Although this book was primarily written for women who are thinking of leaving their marriage, it is also a book that will help keep your marriage strong and vibrant whether you are newlyweds or a couple celebrating your fortieth anniversary. There are suggestions for activities and conversation at the end of each chapter. Read it alone or even better, read it as a couple. Both men and women have written commenting on how much the book has helped their marriage. Chapter 4, "What Happened to the Good Times," Chapter 10, "Different Walls," Chapter 14, "The Fantasy of Something Better," and Chapter 17, "Dreaming New Dreams" are especially important if your marriage is hurting.
Neil Clark Warren, founder of eharmony.com, has endorsed the book with this comment: For any man who wants to love his wife more deeply--and for any woman who is dying to be loved that way.
The book offers wise and gentle advice to restore hope to your marriage. You'll discover proven methods for how you can move toward each other rather than away, build up instead of tear down, and find love rather than lose it. God's blessings for you as your read it.

I was thinking of walking out on my 25 plus years of marriage. This book helped me see all the good reasons to stay. It doesn't tell you not to leave, but helps you think through all the consequences of your choices.

"This book comes highly recommended by me for all married couples. No matter what stage your are in your marriage, this book has great potential to keep you on track. Read this book to help you understand and avoid possible mistakes in your marriage walk, even if you are not aware of existing problems. It can help you recognize the value of what's really there, good or bad. Both of the authors wisdom come from many years of counseling. They are very well grounded in the topic they write about, presenting many original stories, as well as the wisdom they have learned from their own successful marriages. This book is very well written and laid out. It is possible to read just about any chapter that interests you without having to read the book from beginning to end first."

I am in my mid 50's and on my 3rd marriage. I want to be married - I just didn't know how to stay married. I have finally learned.

My husband enjoyed and appreciated the assignments. We learned more about each other - and our marriage grew much stronger.
I highly recommend this for married couples - and especially every woman who wants to 'WALK OUT'.

The book is easy to read - layed out in simple-down to earth chapters!! The book may cost $5.00 but the result is priceless.

. . . until I read this book. Okay, well, truthfully I didn't have the guts to walk out, but I really wanted to. And I had been that way for a long, long time. It was on my mind all day, every day of my life for years. What held me back? Namely the fact that I knew it would not be pleasing to God. Then there were the five children my husband and I shared together; our families; our friends; our church. It was impossible to ever think about facing these people again if I did walk out. Of course, the fact that I didn't have any money or a place to go weighed heavily on my decision to stay put.

Regardless of the reasons listed above, walking out on my husband and the life I didn't like anymore still crossed my mind . . . and lived there . . . daily. It came down to the fact that I really needed to change my thinking. I really needed soome counselling but could not afford it.

This book had been sitting on my shelf for two or three years. I had picked it up at one time and had begun to read it. There were even little sticky notes and highlights throughout. But I didn't get far at that time. I just wasn't ready to hear what the authors, Dr. Steve Stephens and Alice Gray, had to say. But just a few weeks ago, I literally felt at the end of my patience. I had written three notes to my husband about how I was feeling, but I don't think he knew exactly how to deal with the intensity of my frustration, anger, bitterness, and saddness. If anything was to be done, it was up to me.

While packing a bag of reading material for a weekend trip with our daughter for 4-H, I grabbed this book hoping to get some relief from the ugliness in my soul regarding my marriage. Not really ready to read cover-to-cover, I flipped through the pages until I came across a chapter I thought might help the most. It's titled "This Lady Has the Blues" and it absolutely described this lady for sure!

I have been hooked on the book since then and am reading about a chapter a day. Just the fact that **somebody** understood how I felt seemed to lift the heavy burden I felt I had been carrying around. It was also helpful to read the stories throughout that chapter and others of women who are going through the same problems as I am.

One of the things I love most about this book is the fact that it is interactive. Most chapters include a list of symptoms, suggestions of things to try, and/or questions concerning you and your particular situation. These are the blue boxes throughout the chapters. All of this extra information helps you to identify what's really going on, as well as helping you to be truly honest with yourself about some things. So often what we "feel" is so one-sided. Are **all** problems in your marriage your husband's fault? This is one misconception that is addressed in this book.

At the end of each chapter is a section called "Something to Try". It is a list of several suggestions to try to reinforce what has been taught and discussed in that section. You can choose just one from the list. Most of these suggestions are very simple but eye-opening.

Some of the topics addressed to the "walk out woman" include:

- discovering if you really are a walk out women
- clueless husbands (boy, did **I** need this!)
- discontentment
- focusing on the positive instead of the negative
- anger (when I wasn't depressed, I was angry!)
- building walls (the authors must've been spying!)
- talking and reconnecting
- caring for yourself (a source of guilt for me!)
- devastation of divorce
- affairs and how to avoid them
- happiness
- and much more!

Several chapters seemed to be written about me! I wondered if the authors had been hanging around my house. I especially was distraught to read about myself in the chapter on building walls. We women seem so predictable.

Overall, this was just an eye-opening book for me. It helped clarify the fact that all marriages have issues and even if a walk out woman did get a new husband, there wouldn't be any guarantee that she'd be any happier. It was helpful to read about how Dr. Stephens would counsel a walk out woman; how to talk to my husband; how to tear down walls; and the fact that it's okay to do things for **me**. I have spent so many years caring for others and I often feel guilty for doing something for myself.

I am very thankful to have been able to address my issues with depression. I feel that my husband hears me better when I write out my frustrations and hurts and was glad to learn that this is an acceptable way to communicate with your man. Since I've done that, my Mister Wonderful has really been trying to be more attentive to my needs . . . and I am feeling much better.

While "The Walk Out Woman" addresses a negative topic and speaks to serious issues in marriage, it is also uplifting as the authors offer much helpful advice on getting through this time in life.

There are several references to scripture throughout, but it is not overbearing in its use. The authors also refer to many of sources in regards to writings on marriage counselling.

I really never have **wanted** to be a walk out woman, but it seemed the only way of escape for me. After reading this very insightful book, I feel that I am equipped to better handle the issues in my marriage. I hope that if you read it, you will come away refreshed and ready to fight for yours.

First of all, I bought the Kindle edition so I am not sure if the print book is the same, but the Kindle Edition is full of typing errors, like the word die comes up alot for the or how about fJiere for there. It is very annoying to read through.

Second of all, I don't know how it could help anybody who is truly thinking on walking out. The book makes excuses for the man so if you are thinking on walking out be prepared to be told over and over in this book to pray for him, make concession after concession, to try again. Basically bend over backward for him because he's just a man. Your expectations are too high, poor guy just don't know how to communicate, or you are dwelling on all the bad times. I don't know about you but thinking on the good times only makes me angry because I know he can be a way better husband than he is now. And don't even give me the 'oh he's just a man he don't know how to listen or talk' stuff. He didn't have any problems doing it when we were dating.

I can't begin to explain how one sided this book is, but I guess it comes from your basic Christian attitude--the man is number one and it's your job as a wife to make sure he and everyone else knows it. Take chapter 5, it talks about having a love bank(someone else's idea btw) that women keep track of the man's interactions with you, either negative or positive. So here's the wife's responsibilities:
1. Give him a fresh start just erase all the negative stuff in your bank.
2. It's your job to communicate your reasonable needs to him. But remember he's just a man so you will have to make him understand.
3. Give him credit for the good things he does and don't forget all those good intentions he has they count too. I don't think relationships or anything else for that matter can be built on good intentions do you?
4. And erase all those bad deposits he's made in the past. How many times has the wife been the one to have to do that, forget everything, forgive over and over, hoping next time the husband will get it, only to be disappointed again and again. That's why you have marriage problems in the first place right because of all the disappointment and rejection you've felt? But just let it all go.

Anyway here is the man's responsibilities from this chapter:
1. He needs to pay more attention to how his behavior affects you.
2. He must learn to understand your needs.
Then it goes on to say, but remember he's just a clueless guy so you as a woman will have to help him along. I have been married for 19 years if he hasn't gotten it yet, if all my helping him understand hasn't helped I don't think it's going to happen now. Know what I mean.

I'm tired of being the one to try to work on our marriage, making concessions, always taking the initiative for time to spend together, his idea of spending time with me is watching tv with me, woo hoo, right? I think just like every other man he's just too lazy to try to meet my needs, I mean as long as their needs are met then that's really all they care about anyway, right?

I haven't finished reading this book, but so far it is not a book I would recommend to anyone.

I am 51 years old, recently divorced after a 3 yr separation, with 2 young adult children (21 & 18), and certainly would like to have read this book years ago. 'Though divorced, I absolutely did not want a divorce, never believed in divorce; but had no idea whatsoever how 'not' to go there. Two years ago when I'd realized how things had gotten, I told my then husband that I'd do whatever it took to keep our marriage, within reason of course; but after having been 'out there,' he decided that a life of no responsibilites, a'care-free' and frivolous life was what he wanted. Our 'children' at the time were 14 & 17 'he' decided he wanted the break, and he'd said that the kids would be okay, knowing full well that this was their ultimate fear - DIVORCE. However, since that time, I'd been reading everything, listening to Christian counseling programs and had learned much, but this book ULTIMATELY made me see for the very first time ever what 'my' mistakes were. Honestly, even at my age I had no idea how very ignorant I was! Now I understand some of the things that 'though they were 'small' so to speak, they were huge to him. We have had to have contact on account of our 18 yr. developing lung cancer, which we were told was there from birth, but is only now revealing itself. (Neither of us were smokers, for the record). I thought that this would unite us, but apparently not; still, I am so very happy that I've discovered this book, and besides, who knows what God has in store for each us? I'm passing it along to my friends. I do think for people that truly want to stay married, this book can't help but have a monumental impact! It truly is a treasure!

This is a great book! All women shouL
d read it. It says everything I have felt at one time or another. I have put many of the ideas to work and it has helped me tremendously. I highly recommend this book as the author is so right when he says divorce is not the answer. Marriage is work and can be very rewarding when we know what we are dealing with. This book helps to unwind many mysteries.!!!