Walk with Us: Triplet Boys, Their Teen Parents & Two White Women Who Tagged Along [Paperback]

Elizabeth K. Gordon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 29, 2007

In an award-winning true story, a homeless teenaged girl finds herself pregnant with triplets. Her boyfriend turns to one of the few resources in his Philadelphia neighborhood -- two women who left the suburbs to live in multiracial community. The mother-to-be moves in, just until the babies come. But then... Journey with this real-life improvised family as they reach across "chasms of misunderstanding" to forge a hopeful future for three baby boys. Through conflict and heartache to forgiveness and a very American variety of redemption -- Walk with us.

Editorial Reviews

Review

At a time when we are inundated daily with reports of violence, heartbreak and tragedy, it is gratifying to read of people who not only go out of their way to help each other, but willingly perform sacrifices most of us would never dream of. However, don't assume this is a smarmy tale of saintliness - Ms. Gordon portrays everyone honestly and realistically (herself included), warts and all. These are people who struggle and make mistakes, but because of their love for each other, their tenacity and their wish to do what is right and good, they manage to overcome obstacles that would daunt and defeat 99% of the population. They are ordinary people who chose to step up in exceptional circumstances. By the end of the book, I felt I had witnessed true heroism. --M. L. Pirie

Elizabeth (Kathryn) Gordon writes of Tahija, Lamarr, and their triplet boys, who for almost two years shared a house with Kathryn and her partner Kaki. We share Kathryn's doubts and reservations, and her spiritual experience that invites Kathryn to provide radical hospitality to Tahija and Lamarr, becoming their major childcare provider and housemate. We observe at close quarters what it's like when the Department of Human Services threatens to take away the boys because Tahija is presumed unfit as a poor, black teen mother. We meet Family Court, doctors, and social service agencies which do not actively encourage fathers who want to be involved with their families. We witness Kathryn's struggle to love and support Tahija when their ideas about childrearing create a cultural divide; Tahija moves out as a heartbreaking result. And, we are there for the healing of the rift. Walk with Us invites the reader to walk with the little family, expanding our hearts and minds and souls along with Kathryn's, to include those who are not so different from ourselves. --Mariellen O. Gilpin

This is an important book. It is the true story to two white women who provide a home for a pregnant 15 year old black girl, her partner, and their triplet sons after their birth. The author is a published poet, and it shows in the writing. This book is beautifully written, and Ms. Gordon's honesty is so complete that it is sometimes painful to read. This is a true examination of conscience. It is also an examination of the history of race relations in the US and the current state of those relations, not from an observer who visited a ghetto a few times for a story, but from someone who lived it. Make no mistake, there is also much that evokes laughter here. Ms. Gordon has a marvelous sense of humor, and she is not afraid to laugh at herself. I consider this book "a must read" for anyone interested in and concerned about race relations in America. And that should be everyone, shouldn't it? --Maureen Mather

About the Author

Elizabeth K. Gordon lives in Pennsylvania's Endless Mountains, where she teaches writing at area colleges. A two-time Hopwood Award winner at The University of Michigan, she gained her education in cross-cultural living while sharing a Philadelphia row house with the young family at the center of Walk with Us.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Crandall, Dostie & Douglass Books (September 29, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1934390305
• ISBN-13: 978-1934390306
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #538,340 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Walk a mile in my shoes - together!, November 9, 2008

By 

Grady Harp (Los Angeles, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Walk with Us: Triplet Boys, Their Teen Parents & Two White Women Who Tagged Along (Paperback)

In this little miracle of a book WALK WITH US Elizabeth K. Gordon has managed to tell a story that encompasses or addresses many social problems, problems with our health care system, problems facing minority groups such as African Americans, Muslims, Lesbians, Quakers, et al, problems with teenage pregnancies, and universal problems of human relationships. The story she relates is true, is sometimes harsh to read as it exposes thorny problems, is one that vividly depicts life in the ghetto areas of all of our cities. It is also a story so powerfully told that it brings light to dark realities and results in an appreciation of the importance of understanding and acceptance of the many differences among the people that make up this country.

The full title of the book tells the basic story: the author and her partner Kaki are a happily adjusted Quaker couple who happen upon a fifteen year old pregnant African American Muslim girl Tahija and her boyfriend Lamaar, and out of genuine caring and generosity befriend the homeless girl (and family!), adapting their life style to the traditions and quirks of their guests, accompanying Tahija through her pregnancy of triplets, and the aftermath of conflicts of life style and philosophy of child rearing. But that is only a brief outline of what this book is about. Gordon weaves her story with the flavor of the poorer Philadelphia neighborhood populace, a neighborhood comprised of every minority group imaginable, finds the languages that without condescension make the story flow in an unbiased, very realistic manner, and almost casually and inadvertently opens windows of understanding without preaching but with her gift for recording sensitive issues in an open and nonjudgmental manner.

Given the story is one so interesting and involving that once the reader begins this book, putting it down before discovering the interesting conclusion approaches the impossible, the overwhelming impression at book's end is the brilliance with which Elizabeth K. Gordon writes! This is an important writer, one with skills so polished that she makes every brief chapter a rhapsody. Her 'Introduction' alone reads like an epic poem. She is able to plainly draw from personal experiences that reveal her own beliefs: 'We're together. It echoed back from some hillside of intuition within me. It felt, as Quakers say, rightly ordered'. Her observations of events come from the heart: 'Tahija Ellison was about as far from humble and grateful as you get without leaving the solar system. She was a bane to residents, nurses, and doctors alike. She was an arrogant, selfish, ill-tempered adolescent. To share my house, my money, my time, my best friend and lover with this ornery stranger, this pretentious child, this hurt and angry woman so in need herself of mothering, who carelessly and without means to support them was bringing three innocent lives into the world...' It is with this degree of honesty that makes the transcendence of this story more moving and more completely credible.

The obvious 'lesson' behind WALK WITH US is message of co-habitation of all peoples of this country. And not simply co-habitation but acceptance of differences and likenesses that connect us as fellow citizens in this country wholly comprised of Immigrants, whether historic or current. With the recent election breathing hope (an in some places continued despair as in California's voter response to human rights) this is a timely book to read just now. But it is such a beautifully written book that it will remain on the shelves reserved for frequently re-read books for many years. Highly recommended. Grady Harp, November 08

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully written, achingly honest, October 8, 2007

By 

Maureen Mather - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Walk with Us: Triplet Boys, Their Teen Parents & Two White Women Who Tagged Along (Paperback)

This is an important book. It is the true story to two white women who provide a home for a pregnant 15 year old black girl, her partner, and their triplet sons after their birth. The author is a published poet, and it shows in the writing. This book is beautifully written, and Ms. Gordon's honesty is so complete that it is sometimes painful to read. This is a true examination of conscience. It is also an examination of the history of race relations in the US and the current state of those relations, not from an observer who visited a ghetto a few times for a story, but from someone who lived it. Make no mistake, there is also much that evokes laughter here. Ms. Gordon has a marvelous sense of humor, and she is not afraid to laugh at herself. I consider this book "a must read" for anyone interested in and concerned about race relations in America. And that should be everyone, shouldn't it?

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Walking the Walk by Kaolin Oct. 8, 2008 [...], October 8, 2008

By 

K. Kaolin (Massachusetts) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Walk with Us: Triplet Boys, Their Teen Parents & Two White Women Who Tagged Along (Paperback)

"Walk with Us" is a deeply moving true story about a white middle-aged woman, her partner Kaki, and their commitment to Tahija, a pregnant African American adolescent. We are introduced to Tahija through Lamarr, Tahija's boyfriend and the father of the triplets they are expecting. He had asked Kaki if she she'd let Tahija move into her home until the babies' were delivered, because Tahija's mother was in rehab at the time and she needed a place to live.

Gordon walks us through the streets of Philadelphia, and the affect racism has upon each member of this newly constructed family. While Elizabeth and Kaki let us in on their struggle with the bazaar chain of privilege their whiteness has assured them, Tahija gives us an intimate view of the world that she, as a young Muslim woman of color, inhabits. Given their hertories few of us can be surprised at the vast differences between them.

As a result of Gordon's character the sensitivity and strengths of each individual in "Walk with Us" is remarkable. The constant thrust of obstacles set before them is heartbreaking. The birth of the triplets leave you in the midst of the most fragile and often troubling conflicts known to pose problems between parents and caregivers. For ex: How does one let a mom be a mom with minimal judgment or interference from other household members? How does one respect a very young mother who is still growing-up, her need for boundaries and her right to mature in her own time when you are certain that her inexperience and troubles may be hurtful to her children? Those are some of the questions Elizabeth must ask herself. And letting one's conscience be her guide may not be enough in this situation for there are multi-cultural considerations to be made as well.

Elizabeth and her partner often pause to be sure they are not crossing lines that include imposing racist norms and assumptions about their power on Tahija, Lamarr and their own family values. However, natural differences between the wisdom of one's elders and the naivete of the young must also be considered while the urgent care needed for the triplet's leaves very little time to draw lines between right and wrong. And when in doubt about boundaries, Tahija makes it clear to them that they need to step back and follow her lead! Make no mistake, these are her babies. Her children will be raised to be strong enough to face a world that will go out of its way to harm them and no one knows that better than Tahija. Why? They are of color.

Tahija is convinced that one strengthens their babies by resisting the urge to come to their aid when they cry. Just as she is convinced she must prepare them for poverty by feeding them less no matter how hungry they are. Exactly what kind of stress is Tahija dealing with? Are the accumulative pains of poverty, rejection, fear and depression a mental health problem that she may need treatment for or a staple affirming her capacity to endure extreme deprivation that must be handed down to her boys'? And will these concerns wipe out the good times? There are good times. There is also a lot of love between Tahija, her mother and other family members too. So, we often wonder where they are.

In "Walk with Us" everyone, including the reader, is called upon to question their own motives and prejudices.

Tahija and Gordon's honesty leaves us receptive if not longing for resolutions and even happiness for the children and the adults who love them. Yet we would suspect the changes they must undergo together, will lead them further into the complexities of adulthood, the inevitability of disappointments and the rigorous demands of cross-generational family life and they do.

Ms. Gordon's writing leaves no stone unturned. Once you finish reading "Walk with Us" you realize that you have come to know Tahija as daughter, as mother, as partner and writer. You have also come to know Lamarr as brother, as father, as son and partner.

The triplets are sweethearts. Kaki is kind. The love and respect she and Elizabeth have for one another which they so freely share with others is courageous. You also realize that the department of social services continues to be as flawed as the spirituality of Tahija, Elizabeth and Kaki is inspired.

"Walk with Us" is a gift for you and a gift for others. Open it up and let the healing begin.