Customer Reviews

Wanting Another Child: Coping with Secondary Fertility

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Harriet Fishman Simons's description of how it feels to have a child but be unable to have another exactly mirrored how I have felt, and I think the book was very perceptive in describing the unique sorrow that faces parents who want so much but cant have another child. Her description of the differences between how women and men deal with this problem is particularly good and corresponds to how I have felt and how other women I know have felt. I cried reading this book but found it cathartic. However, my one complaint about this book is the relative neglect is gives to the issue of secondary infertility stemming from multiple miscarriages rather than the failure to conceive. I have searched for books that deal with this issue--and I think this is not uncommon for women suffering from secondary infertility. The issue of whether to keep trying, the fact that in most cases the doctors cant give you any reason for the failure, the toll that miscarriage places on your marriage and on raising your child, arent really dealt with except for passing references.

I felt like Harriet Fishman Simons must have been eavesdropping on me because she was able to define my thoughts, feelings, worries and insecurities so accurately! This book has been my lifeline in an otherwise very lonely situation. Most other books deal with the problem of infertility and usually only focus on the patients where treatment is eventually successful. I needed help with when treatment fails and dealing with that. I was going to pass this along to a friend dealing with her own infertility but decided that I can't give this book up just yet. She'll have to get her own copy! I even went through and highlighted passages that I felt were particularly true or comforting to me in my situation. This is one book that I will recommend heartily to anyone dealing with secondary infertility.

I had no expectations when I opened this book, having read a number of books on infertility. What a pleasant surprise to discover that Ms. Fishman Simons knows the subject of secondary infertility so well and provides in her book just what couples experiencing this very much ignored problem need for guidance. While reading it was emotionally difficult at times, I found many perspectives that matched what I had felt and some insightful comments on how to get past secondary infertility. I highly recommend this book to anyone coping with secondary infertility, certainly as a beginning to "recovery," and to family and friends of the secondary infertile couple.

Where was this book when I REALLY needed it!!! They need to reprint this because there are so many people who could benifit from this book. I have dealt with my secondary infertility for 8 years from childbirth complications. I have never really felt like I "fit in" with the infertile childless and the people who could have more kids. I recommend this book with 5 stars+++. It may bring on some tears but that is part of the process of coming to terms and the grieving process. You will read about how other ladies have dealt with other peoples pregancies, caught between two worlds of the fertile and infertile, how families do not really give the support you hoped for and knowing they still love you, the second child you had in your mind and heart will never be and you have to mourn for that child, validating your idea of what is a family, adoption as an option, and accepting an only child family. It really helped me out a lot to realise I am not alone and validate my feelings that I have had the past 8 years. If you are a good friend or family member dealing with secondary infertility get this and read it then pass it on to your friend. She/he will feel so good that you cared enough to give it.It was written by a RESOLVE counselor. It is an EXCELLENT book for husbands to read because they see this differently in a lot of ways and this book will help them see the wives point of view. I highly recommend it. Please reprint it!!

I had no expectations when I opened this book, having read a number of books on infertility. What a pleasant surprise to discover that Ms. Fishman Simons knows the subject of secondary infertility so well and provides in her book just what couples experiencing this very much ignored problem need for guidance. While reading it was emotionally difficult at times, I found many perspectives that matched what I had felt and some insightful comments on how to get past secondary infertility. I highly recommend this book to anyone coping with secondary infertility, certainly as a beginning to "recovery," and to family and friends of the secondary infertile couple.

I checked out this book from the library with high hopes of finding answers to my various questions about secondary infertility, but was v. disappointed that it was no more than a collection of experiences sent to the author by a wide variety of people who are living with this infertility. OK so there's a whole community out there who are experiencing similar emotions and questions; what I am looking for are some guidelines and helpful suggestions. The author fails to provide good advice or useful decision-making tools to those dealing with this issue. Although a subject such as secondary infertility has a very large audience, perusing this book made me no wiser in answering questions I have about the situation. 2 pts. for dealing with a topic important to many of us, -3 for not shedding light on my questtions. I failed to see the value-add from the author other than making the reader aware that there are many other people out there grappling with the same issues and emotions. Don't waste your time with this book.

I found this book so helpful in making me realize I wasn't alone in this strange mixture of feelings. While I found it helpful to be part of a support group for others suffering from infertility, I also found it difficult at times to relate to those suffering from primary infertility, and I did not want to seem ungrateful for the wonderful child I had when so many people had no child at all. I have passed this book along to several other people and have suggested it to others online -- I only wish it were still in print!

The only book that I've seen that deals exclusively with the problem of secondary infertility--which some sources claim is an even more common problem that primary infertility or childlessness. Sensitively written, and a God-send to couples with this problem with many answers.