Wanting a Child [Paperback]

Jill Bialosky (Editor), Helen Schulman (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1999

Twenty-two writers-from Tama Janowitz and Peter Carey to Amy Hempel and Bob Shacochis-share their complicated journeys to parenthood, whether they involve surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, or adoption. Included are inspiring accounts of families that defy the traditional definition, from homes with same-sex partners to those with single parents or stepparents. The first book of its kind, Wanting a Child finally gives voice to the heartbreak, hope, and elation experienced by the many who discover that parenthood cannot be taken for granted.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Each story in this moving anthology reiterates the universal need to be a parent, to experience what the essayist Michael Brub . . . describes as 'this overwhelming, bone-crushing, life-transforming, complicated feeling of wonder.'" -- The New York Times Book Review

"In the inspiring and heart-wrenching Wanting a Child, writers share the unspoken truths of infertility, adoption, and miscarriage in their quest for parenthood by any means necessary." -- Elissa Schappell, Vanity Fair

"Run don't walk to buy this book." -- The Women's Review of Books

"The contributors to this vibrant collection . . . share not only a yearning for parenthood but an unsentimentally enchanting gift for expressing it." -- New York magazine

"The editors of this remarkable anthology know first-hand the pain and grief of miscarriage and neo-natal death, yet this is mostly an inspirational (and occasionally humorous) survey of what it is like to want a child more than anything and how that desire is changing the look and character of U.S. families." -- Miami Herald

"The extraordinarily intimate essays are often heart-stopping, as these eloquent writers . . . are surprised by their own fierce desire for a child." -- Elle

"These intensely moving accounts delineate most eloquently the infinite varieties of pain the childless endure and the unbelieving, joyful redemption they experience when, at last, a child enters their lives." -- Kathryn Carpenter, Booklist

"This collection of essays explores the emotional minefield of miscarriage, infertility, surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, and adoption. Even those fortunate enough to have escaped these experiences will find the book a compelling read. If you've known the deep desire to have a baby, you'll understand." -- Pamela Abrams, Child

"Wanting a Child contains the best writing I have seen on infertility, treatment by reproductive technology, and adoption ... By all means run don't walk to buy this book ... Wanting a Child is a powerful read that will resonate with the increasing numbers who experience difficulty becoming a parent (some six million at last count)-and for the general reader, the first-rate writing in these quests will enlighten and reward." -- Karen Propp, The Women's Review of Books

"Wanting a Child should make those who want children less lonely, but it will also make parents like me more grateful." -- Daniel Akst, Civilization

From the Back Cover

With humor, courage, pain, and joy, the writers in this anthology share their complicated journeys to parenthood, whether they involve surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, or adoption. In cluded are inspiring accounts of families that defy the traditional definition, from homes with same-sex partners to those with single parents or stepparents. The first book of its kind, Wanting a Child finally gives voice to the heartbreak, hope, and elation experienced by the many who discover that parenthood cannot be taken for granted.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 274 pages
• Publisher: Farrar Straus & Giroux (May 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0374525943
• ISBN-13: 978-0374525941
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,018,863 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars GOOD WRITING ABOUT WANTING CHILDREN, September 22, 2010

By 

James L. Park "James Leonard Park" (Minneapolis, MN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Wanting a Child (Paperback)

Jill Bialosky & Helen Schulman, editors
Wanting a Child

(New York: Farrar, Straus, & Giroux, 1998) 274 pages
(ISBN: 0-374-28634-5; hardback)
(Library of Congress call number: HQ755.8.W367 1998)

This book is worth reading for the sheer beauty of the writing.
This collection consists of several first-person accounts
of the experiences that emerged from wanting a child.
The two editors both had several miscarriages
before they finally achieved motherhood.
Here are some of the stories, summarized in one line each:
Lesbian parenthood by donated sperm.
Parenthood by donated egg.
Several stories of adoption, foreign and domestic.
Stories of how a child with very serious health problems
make happy parents miserable.
Buying a baby from a pregnant teen-ager.
Connecting with a child given up for adoption years before.
Deciding about a Downs syndrome fetus.
Two gay men have children by a surrogate mother.
Divorced mother happy to have her only child.
Two gay men adopt a baby.
Stories of still-born babies.

Once again, you will appreciate reading these stories
not because of their content (which is often very dramatic)
but because of the high quality of the writing.
Whatever we think about the events described,
this book is a delight to read.

However, not one of the persons represented in this book
ever wonders why people have children.
Wanting a child is assumed to be a valid desire,
which needs no justification at all.

After reading this book, you may conclude
that adoption is the most reasonable parental behavior.
Millions of babies are born by accident
to teen-age mothers all around the world.
When accidental mothers cannot raise their children,
these babies should be adopted by adults
who can give the children a good life.
Usually these babies are physically healthy,
but because of the social conditions into which they are born,
they will have miserable lives unless they are adopted.

Several stories in this collection tell of the lengths
some people pursued in order to adopt their children.
We need better ways to bring together
the needy children of the world
with the adults who can be good parents for them.

5.0 out of 5 stars Heartfelt and excellently written, February 18, 2009

By 

K. Waldron (Atlanta, GA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Wanting a Child (Paperback)

I happened to come across this book after the loss of a pregnancy, and it was deeply moving. Through the authors' own stories, I was able to process my own and to truly heal. I have given it to friends coping with the longing for a child amidst difficulties, as it provides a beautiful, sincere lens with which to help make sense of the often difficult and emotional path to a child.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars The woman who labored him...........grrr, August 16, 2010

By 

Victoria Droz "Victoria D" (Michigan) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Wanting a Child (Paperback)

If you are a birth mother stay away from this book. It will make you feel guilty for not procreating so you can give away your child to another woman who has more--more money, and a pony in the backyard. One writer--one of the editors, Jill Bialosky, can not even bring herself to call the natural mother of her child a mother; instead she calls her "the woman who labored him." Gag. Yes, that woman is her "definition of a Messiah." Given the rest of the essay, and yes, Bialosky did go through hell trying to conceive and have a living child, but please--birth mothers do not have babies to supply women who can't. Better to read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood.