The War I Always Wanted: The Illusion of Glory and the Reality of War (Hardcover)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This cynical but appealing memoir by a lieutenant in the elite 101st Airborne recounts his unpleasant times fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq. After a quick review of his youth (shy, smart, dreaming of glory), Friedman describes his unit's deployment to Afghanistan after 9/11 to fight the Taliban. Its mission turns out to be guarding an air base, four months of demoralizing boredom followed by urgent orders into battle. The result is an exhausting 11-hour march high into freezing mountains, where the soldiers arrive as the fighting ends. A year later, as American forces invade Iraq in March 2003, Friedman's unit advances almost to Baghdad without encountering resistance but yearning to fight. There follows three months of dull occupation duty until, to everyone's horror, a grenade kills two soldiers on patrol, and the insurgency begins. The author accepts that America needed to fight in Afghanistan, but can't fathom why we invaded Iraq. He does not re-enlist. Given the public's waning support for the war in Iraq, Friedman's voice is likely to be heard by sympathetic ears. (Aug. 15)
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Review

They have stories to tell, those dusty soldiers who trek through the airport in their desert uniforms and worn boots and thousand-yard stares, on their way home from Iraq or on their way back. Most will never tell their stories: They're too painful and the humor too black, altogether too complicated for someone who wasn't there. An exception is this infantry lieutenant whose memoir of Afghanistan and Iraq is a book you'll want to read parts of aloud to somebody. The funny parts, and the tragic ones.

Friedman tells stories well, with a keen eye for war's absurdities and his own fading illusions of war's glory. As a kid, he came to believe war looked like late-night TV: storming the beaches, low-crawling under enemy machine gun fire, holding your dying buddy as he whispered his last, noble words. He craved it, like many American kids, and practically knocked down a recruiter to get into the Army and on into war with the 101st Airborne.

His first taste of reality came as his platoon headed into Afghanistan's Shah-e-Kot Valley. Headquarters gave Friedman first one set of orders and then another and finally, jammed with his men into a deafening, shuddering helicopter seconds from battle, he ditched the Army's textbook demand for detailed mission planning and scrawled on scraps of paper that he passed around: "New plan: Get off bird. Go left. Attack."

In Iraq barely a year later, his mental image of an invasion, with orderly rows of tanks crashing through fortifications, collapsed into an aimless road trip through southern Iraq. "The whole thing had an air of, 'Drive toward Najaf and see if anybody tries to stop you. ... ' " Friedman reports. His platoon stared back at Iraqis who stared at the passing convoy. They listened to false radio rumors of fighting up ahead, and wondered if the protocol of invading someone else's country allowed them to just pull over anywhere to relieve themselves.

It would get worse, of course, degenerating at last into the war Friedman always wanted. Like many soldiers, Friedman found his war was deadening on his soul. "Guys in my battalion lost legs, eyes and jaws. Three others got killed. They got hit with bullets, grenades, bombs and RPGs," he writes. "We killed terrorists and insurgents. In the process we killed civilians. We shot kids. It became pretty standard guerrilla war. ... " One day in Baghdad a boy stopped him to point out the spot where two children had been killed in an American airstrike. "You should not kill children," the boy solemnly told Friedman. "I didn't know what to say," Friedman thought. " 'Sorry?' Does that cut it? I was skeptical but I decided to give it a try. 'Sorry.'"

Old beyond his years, the boy said, "But you will understand, this is very hard for us."

I know, Friedman responded. "At the time that was more or less a lie, since I didn't know. I couldn't have known. Americans cannot comprehend what the Iraqi people have been through for the last five, 15 or 35 years."

Nor can most Americans comprehend the indelible stamp war is putting on the young generations we are sending into battle, 12 or 15 months at a time, over and over. It's not easy to understand, and we often don't know how to ask or take the time to listen to them. This book is a good place to start.

David Wood, who covers national security for The Sun, has reported from Iraq and Afghanistan three times this year. -- Baltimore Sun

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Zenith Press; 1st edition (August 15, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0760331502
• ISBN-13: 978-0760331507
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.9 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #468,137 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Flashback, August 22, 2007

By	P. Granato (West Palm Beach FL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

As a fellow Iraq Veteran (OIF I) I felt this book was so realistic it brought me back to those fateful days in March 2003 waiting in the Kuwaiti desert for the inevitable "war" to begin. From the false NBC (nuclear, biological & chemical) alarms to the sandstorm of near biblical proportions, nothing I have read prior to this book has brought those days back in such a clear and concise way. I highly suggest this book to those who wonder what it is like to serve in a combat zone.

53 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Moving Memoir, July 17, 2007

By	P. Austin (Shreveport, LA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

A stunning first effort; I loved this book! I don't usually read books in the military genre, but I loved this one. "The War I Always Wanted" is a moving memoir of a young man's experience in Afghanistan and Iraq, but it's really even larger than that. It's more of a "coming-of-age" story. Friedman is a skillful young writer who does not lose his readers in military terminology, acronyms, or long descriptions of maneuvers and strategy. This is a much more personal story. More than once I found myself with tears in my eyes as I empathized with what was happening not just to him but to other characters in his story (his mother, for example). His descriptions put you right in the middle of the scene (the marathon march in Afghanistan...), yet he is equally adept in making you feel for yourself the range of emotions he goes through (the girl with the rose). The conclusion is fabulous; again, he alienates no one. Young adults will even be moved by Friedman's story; I plan to use the book in my high-school classroom as part of a larger unit with also includes writings by Tim O'brien (a writer Friedman eclipses, in my opinion.) One of the best things about this book, I think, is that you can enjoy it and relate to it regardless of how you feel about the current situation in Iraq and Afghanistan.

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and Compelling, August 14, 2007

By	C. J. Brickner (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The sadly surreal, surprisingly boring and at times terrifying reality of war, put down on paper by someone who knows how to write. One soldier's unflinchingly straightforward experience. Highly educational for all who have not experienced armed service or combat. All at once satisfying, heartbreaking and informative. Well worth the read.