The War Between the State: Northern California vs. Southern California [Hardcover]

Jon Winokur (Compiler)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 2004

Battle lines have been drawn. It's the North vs. the South once again. But this time it's the Bay Area Brahmins against the Angelenos; the cultured vs. the philistines; old money vs. new; literary vs. blockbuster; irrelevant vs. fabulous. Fortunately, this war hasn't produced any casualties, but rather a vast cache of stinging barbs, witticisms, and droll commentary on life and meaning in Southern California alongside haute attitude and preciousness in Northern California. Twain's infamous shot at L.A. ("a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there") is matched by Gertrude Stein's enduring slam on Oakland ("there's no there there"). Of course, there are other fronts in this timeless clash — San Francisco vs. East Bay; Berkeley vs. Hollywood; the San Fernando Valley vs. Civilization — and Jon Winokur has visited them all in this hilarious compendium of cultural dish from the front lines.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for The Traveling Curmudgeon by Jon Winokur (1570613893) "Another masterpiece of toilet-Tank Lit, quirky wisdom created for the passing amusement of guests in the smallest room of one's house, has arrived: Jon Winokur's The Traveling Curmudgeon

About the Author

Jon Winokur is the author of How to Win at Golf, The Rich Are Different, Advice to Writers, The Traveling Curmudgeon, and many other books. He lives in Pacific Palisades, CA.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 160 pages
• Publisher: Sasquatch Books (June 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1570613788
• ISBN-13: 978-1570613784
• Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.7 x 6.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,429,392 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Not a great book, but still a fun read, June 16, 2008

By 

CrunchyCookie (Palo Alto, CA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The War Between the State: Northern California vs. Southern California (Hardcover)

This isn't so much a "book" as it is a 155-page collection of quotes. But you know what? They're quality quotes -- funny, insightful, revealing one-liners about NorCal and SoCal that are, more often than not, true.

Examples:
- "There is always something so delightfully real about what is phony in Los Angeles. And something so phony about what is real. A sort of disreputable senility."
- "No man could find a better spot on Earth, if only he had some intelligent person to talk to. Los Angeles is a waxworks museum. Everything looks real, then you notice it's a fairly good replica, which, however, never fools you."
- "LA is like Vegas -- but the losers stay in town."
- "Take an opium eater's dream to Los Angeles, and they will realize it for you: the more it costs, the more they will believe in it."
- "Los Angeles is one of the most secret cities I've ever been to. It seems all sunny and open and candid, but it's not. Try to find a friend. Try to find a scene. Try to get comfortable if you're from out of town. Everything happens in living rooms or cars."
- "Hollywood: A place where you spend more than you make, on things you don't need, to impress people you don't like."

- "San Francisco is the only city that goes down on itself."
- "In San Francisco, a mixed marriage is a man and a woman."
- "San Francisco is the center of the known universe; just ask any of us who live here."
- "The moral penal colony of the world."
- "Here, Halloween is redundant."
- "Berkeley: a town in which half the people are seeking to overthrow the federal government while the other half are seeking the perfect croissant."
- "San Franciscians like to have fun, and the natives are sexier. And less mummified. Less Botox, collagen, implants and fewer tsunamis of tucks than you find in LA. Also, the girls have shapelier legs from walking up and down those hills."

LA, SF, the East Bay, Hollywood, the Valley, and even New York all get their own chapters, but basically, the morals of the story are:
1. NorCal is a place for narcissistic liberal weirdos with a one-way hatred towards SoCal.
2. SoCal is a smog-infested metropolitan mess populated by fake, uninteresting morons who exhaust their mental and financial resources pursuing image, appearances, and youth.

Nothing you didn't know before, right? Sure, but it's fun to hear the truth delivered in short, sharp jabs, and it still makes for a good hour or two of educational entertainment. And give the author credit for being first to tackle the subject matter.

I might have given it 5 stars if the price were more proportional to the effort. $17's kinda steep for a big cut-and-paste job.

PS - NorCal rules.

1.0 out of 5 stars Balance an uneven table, September 10, 2007

By 

Jellicoe (Battle Mountain, NV, USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The War Between the State: Northern California vs. Southern California (Hardcover)

I read this book, page for page and found it useless. Not really sure you can call it a book, a collection of fun, but not really true trivial facts about California. Once done it went into the trash. I didn't have the nerve to show it or suggest anyone else waste time with in. Other then balancing that uneven table you may have

1 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful & Witty War Between the States of California, August 20, 2004

By 

QUILLSPINNER "California Historian" (Southern California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The War Between the State: Northern California vs. Southern California (Hardcover)

As an historian and author of SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MISCELLANY... I found this book to be a witty commentary echoing the journalistic tradition of Ambrose Bierce. It is a must-read for Californians! The pages of this book lay down the unspoken laws, that, which residents have always known...The South was never defeated, not in Southern California!