Customer Reviews

Warming the Stone Child (Lighthouse Treasury)

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I got Warming the Stone Child after reading Women Who Run With the Wolves (another great title by Clarissa Pinkola Estes). It is really superb.

The author address the unique pain that accompanies being an unmothered child. She shows how this pain, left undealt with, can affect us for a lifetime. She also acknowledges those many people who have felt that while they were not physically abandoned, they were still unmothered (something our culture has been slow to do).

Using archetypal myths and storytelling the author helps us to first identify ourselves within the myths - and then identify coping mechanisms that we can take for ourselves out of the myths. A really nice addition, she also helps us to identify the special and unique gifts that come out of being an unmothered child. Specifically, and often referenced on the tape, is the gift of powerful intuition. The author speaks to those who, through the pain of their upbringing, developed a highly sensitive trouble or 'BS' monitor. I believe many women will find tons to identify with this in themselves.

The audio tape is read by the author, which makes it nice because it feels more like she's talking to you than reading from her book. I listened to this in the car one night going somewhere alone. In the darkness, alone, it had a very etherial feeling. I would definitely recommend this tape to anyone who has been abandoned or has felt somehow unmothered.

A 22 years old stone child from Miami!

I am a typical example of an Unmothered Child. When I was a kid, I did not receive guidance and love neither from my mother, father and sisters. I did not receive affection, hugs and kisses from them just because I was different in many ways. As a result, since the age of 2, my innocence was taken away from me and I became a victim of sexual abuse and humiliation for a period of 7 years caused by several cousins and members of my family. They wanted to sniff out my love..the love of a real dolphin heart.

But despite of so much pain, I have healed and I learned to have compassion towards others. I fought against everybody to defend whom I am...to be accepted with my beliefs and desires and not change them to accommodate other people's happiness without considering mine first. As a result, my internal light is stronger than a 100 bulb because I did not fall down and I thrived to be who I wanted to be and thanks to Warming the Stone Child, I was re-born again because this tape has changed my life completely.

Now, I have the tools to develop an internal mother within myself by knowing what I did not have in the past...what I have now and what I need know in order to be in balance with myself....the secret is simple...as Clarissa Pinkola Estes said, "in order to grow an internal mother, you have to be willing to be decent and good to yourself;" and this the key in order to move on and learn how to love yourself and others.

With love,

Carlos

Estes tells several stories that pertain to the orphan, abandoned, neglected, and "umothered" child. In Jungian analysis, all parts of a dream, fairy tale, or myth are really components of ourselves. We can re-write the ending and claim healing for ourselves by becoming our own Mother.

She recounts the English tale of the Stolen Woman Moon, Inuit fable of The Stone Child, Little Red Cap (which is an early version of Little Red Riding Hood), and other stories. She then talks about how, in Jungian analysis, all parts of a dream, fairy tale, or myth, are really components of ourselves. Estes also mentions that the fairy tales and stories we strongly identify with, especially as children, become a type of script for many of us--myths for our own life. If the story doesn't have a happy ending traditionally, we need to change the ending of how we want the "tale" to turn out in our own lives. Of all the stories on the tape, it was the last story that moved me the most, though. She shares that the story of the Lost Dog, which was her favorite growing up.

The lost dog goes wandering from house to house, looking for a home. The dog gets chased away, yelled at, and so on. No one wants to dog around, let alone make him a part of the family. The dog is so weary and feels so alone. He then sees a house at the end of the rail road tracks that has a light burning within. He says to himself in despair This is the last house that I will try. He scratches the door, and it opens. The house is filled with children that were having a birthday party, and they squeal in delight at the presence of the dog--thinking that he was a birthday present.

Oh, to be received as if you were a present instead of a scourge or a nuisance!

Since all elements of a story/myth are within, and parts, of ourselves, it comes back to becoming your own Mother. Your own welcoming party. Your own celebration. Your own guide, comforter, and nurturer.

If you have an internal wounded, abandoned, orphaned, or neglected child, realize that you can "grow your own Mother" inside. A partially burned piece of wood always has an ember inside, waiting for a wind to blow on it and coax it to become a flame once again. There is a part of you that can Mother--the child within. When we turn to our inner child, nurturing it and loving it, we heal the child, the inner Mother, and the other parts of ourselves, as well. One of the words for God in the Old Testament is El Shaddai, and in the Hebrew, this is a feminine word that literally means "Many-breasted One". There is a Mother heart of God, not matter which way you choose to connect with this Source or Divinity--or what you choose to call it. Something beyond us that is loving, nurturing, caring, and safe.

Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes gives advice and support to the unmothered child in all of us (some of us are more "unmothered" than others -- this audiobook is especially for us).

She teaches through age-old stories, fables and themes found in many cultures throughout the world. She gently explains how there always remains a spark within the most burnt-out life. She explains how the unmothered child is specially equipped with intuition, coping skills and defensive mechanisms which can shape an artistic and intellectual life (as well as drive one into a bad or destructive relationship). In short, she points out the gifts and blessings of the unmothered child, as well as the handicaps.

There are two take-home messages from this tape: parents, please love, shield and care for your offspring and find as many ways as possible to express that love, and 2) no matter how lonely and unsafe the past was, it need not doom the present or future.

I really don't know what I would have done had I not found this tape. Someone recommended it to me. I feel like the stone child in the tape and I feel like the life is nearly gone from me, the will to live has been quickly fading. She has pointed me in a new direction of healing and hope.

Dr. Estes has a soothing and caring voice. Her stories, Jungian explanations and warmth fanned the tiny ember in my heart into a small flame. Maybe if I learn to love myself and care for myself this tiny flame can grow strong.

I highly recommend this tape to anyone who was abandoned in childhood and abandonment can be emotional as well as physical. I did not know if there was hope. After listening to her I think there is.

I purchased 'Stone Child' after reading 'Run with the Wolves.' I continue to be amazed by Estes' story telling abilities. In Stone Child, she describes myths and their meaning with fluidity and insight. It's not at all about abondoned children (as i originally thought when I purchased it) but about the deep need everyone has to belong, and how we experience great pain when that desire is interupted. I can't imagine how anyone could not see themselves in at least one of the stories she shares. This is a wonderful, healing tape.

I am grateful to the person who recommended this tape to me. I was indeed the stone child - the motherless child. I had fallen into such deep depression that I did not know if I could go on living.

The first time I listened to this tape something happened inside my heart, I discovered a small flame of life within that I had never known was there. Clarrisa's warm voice, enouraging words of insight and hope renewed me and lifted me out of my depression. I listened to her tape over and over day after day and something changed inside. And because of the change deep within my life changed too. I finally found that what I was looking for outside was actually within me all the time. Thank you Clarrisa for helping me find it within.

I look forward to listening to all of her tapes and continuing on this journey of warming the stone child and connecting to my own internal mother within to guide me through my life.

If you grew up without nurture, how do you learn to nurture yourself? This tape contains an answer that is not confusing, not hard to understand, and is within easy grasp for putting into action. Excellent discussion and examples. An interesting experience to listen vs. read; I took notes early on, but now I know it well. I often go to sleep with it--musing about the familiar text and appreciating the warm voice.

This tape is more and more worthwile the more times it's played. The symbols filter down to the wounded parts that we still carry in our adult bodies. I've owned it several years now and it's one of my prized treasures. Your stone child will thank you for providing this much needed guidance - no matter how long it's been or how hard the stone. I am now closer to my parents from the help I received by listening to this priceless story collection. Try soaking in a warm tub with this playing and let it all melt down and heal at last.

As a healer, I have had access to many tools and philosophies which have shaped my work with people in pain. Few have moved me or been as essential to me as "Warming the Stone Child." I have listened to this tape many times over, and have each time heard something new and nourishing. I recommend it to members of my online healing community (The Wounded Healer Journal at twhj.com) and many report that it has been transformative for them. I urge you to buy yourself a copy, and to buy copies for anyone you know who has emerged from trauma or child abuse. Like all of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' works, it's good medicine.