Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents : How to Read the Early Signals of Low Self-Esteem, Addition, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids [Hardcover]

John Kelly (Author), Brian J. Karem (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 11, 2002

You see your children every day. You have a handle on their lives, right? But do you know how to read the undercurrents? Can you spot the subtle signs of potentially addictive behaviour? Is there a touch of violence hidden in your child? This book shows the exact key behaviours, activities, and personality changes to look for in your child that point to brewing trouble. Designed for every parent with teenagers today, this is the only book that provides honest answers to the questions you have about your child and drug abuse, alcohol and binge drinking, violence and bullying, gambling, and depression and suicide. John Kelly, a respected authority in addictive behaviours and treatments, together with award-winning journalist writer Brian Karem, focuses on the vital role low self-esteem plays in these addictions and the volumes of other problems that can be attributed to a sense of low self-worth. The book shows you how you can stay vigilant and recognise the early signs of low self-esteem, address problems before they become crises, and nurture your child toward healthy development of self-worth.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 216 pages
• Publisher: Lifeline Press (March 11, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0895261898
• ISBN-13: 978-0895261892
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,444,300 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Warning Signs, November 11, 2002

By 

David Bencivengo MS, CACC, CEAP (N.J., USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents : How to Read the Early Signals of Low Self-Esteem, Addition, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids (Hardcover)

This is a book that anyone can read and feel a sense of understanding about. Mr. Kelly hits the nail on the head w/ regards to self esteem and its relationship to the addictive process. I also like how he gives examples throughout the book as identifiers.

As a therapist in the addictions/eap field I have suggested this book on more that one occasion to individuals coming in to discuss the concerns for their children. It speaks to the lay person in common sense language and guides them on a path that can be difficult but will pay benefits in healthier family relations and children who will have improved skills to navigate the many obstacles to becoming productive individuals.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars EXCELLENT BOOK...everyone should read this, August 13, 2003

By 

Anne "ja2003" (United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents : How to Read the Early Signals of Low Self-Esteem, Addition, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids (Hardcover)

EXCELLENT BOOK!!!!! Everyone in the world should read this book. Especially if you are a parent, teacher, or counselor.

Dr. John Kelly is a psychotherapist, a recovered addict, and a loving father of 3 sons.

Dr. Kelly teaches skills to parents, counselors and teachers on how to draw out the child's self-respect and confidence. It is a wonderful book that can be quickly read. It is a must for all people who will raise, counsel or teach children.

Dr. Kelly runs his own clinic that specializes in addictions and asserts convincingly that

1) The root cause of all addictions and most violence is low self-esteem. Long before the addictions begin (whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, gambling, compulsive clean "freaks", craving excessive attention, codependent relationships, bulimia, anorexia, or overachieving, etc.) low self-esteem was firmly in place and began developing in early childhood. Whatever the addiction, a drink or purging, etc., is used to anesthetize the person's feelings of low self-esteem.

2) Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem can be manifested in children as young as 5 and 6 years old. Teens as young as 11 and 12 have been found to contemplate suicide b/c of low self-esteem.

3) Low self-esteem is epidemic in our society. Low Self-Esteem should be classified as a "disease" and is the largest health problem facing the United States. It hits well educated and poorly educated people as well as rich and poor individuals. It does not discriminate.

4) CHILDREN NEED TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS, ESPECIALLY FEELINGS OF ANGER. They need a healthy outlet to feel and express their pain. Anger is usually a companion of Low Self-Esteem. If internalized, the anger can lead to depression, or addictions, or psychosomatic illness, such as asthma, intense headaches, ulcers, hypertension, etc. It can also lead to violence as the child gets older. THE GREATEST SINGLE SOURCE OF ANGER AMONG MANY OF THE CHILDREN WHO BECAME DANGEROUS CRIMINALS IS THAT THEIR PARENTS (SPECIFICALLY FATHERS, FOR MOST BOYS) WERE NOT AROUND.

5) Proper vigilant parenting is essential in raising children who will possess high self-esteem. Recent studies have shown that on average, mothers spend 11 min/day of "quality time" with their children, and fathers 8 min/day. There is no such thing as "quality time". The "quality" is found in the "quantity of time" you spend with your children. Apathetic parents who put more emphasis on material wealth for their children forget that children "want" material things, but "need" parental "quality time"... Children NEED love, attention, interest, affection MORE than they need the newest Sony Playstation 2 or computers or computer games.

6) Boys need their fathers, and girls need their mothers. Children need both parents.

7) Parents should never yell at their children, nor physically, emotionally or sexually abuse their children. They must not be demanding "perfection," nor be an "enabling" parent, nor "apathetic".

GET THIS BOOK. YOU WON'T BE SORRY!!!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Warning Signs, June 2, 2002

By 

Joan Buzick, MA, Director of a Child Develop... (Wyckoff, NJ United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Warning Signs: A Guidebook for Parents : How to Read the Early Signals of Low Self-Esteem, Addition, and Hidden Violence in Your Kids (Hardcover)

John Kelly makes key points when he reminds his readers that adolescents have not fully matured emotionally. Parents need to help their children through their emotional growth. Parents are helping their children when they keep a close watch on them and also when they provide behavioral boundaries such as strict curfews, appropriate activities and guidance in selecting friends.

The book is well written, with many case studies. It is a quick but important read.