Customer Reviews

Warrior Lessons: An Asian American Woman's Journey Into Power

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I am a second-generation Chinese American female and this book spoke to both my heart and spirit; it's absolutely wonderful and I highly reccomend it to Asians and non-Asians. For Asians, it validates the myriad of feelings and mixed emotions we have had but had not given voice to publicly. For non-Asians, it can foster a greater understanding of an ethnic group other than their own. In response to the review by Susan Akins: Firstly, she IS NOT Asian and has never truly experienced what we have in a western society. So for her to say that this book would be insulting to Asian-American Women is unfounded- how can she speak for me when she hasn't walked a mile in my shoes? Secondly, she criticized Ms. Eng for speaking about her "victimization" and accuses her of not working as hard as the other Asians she knows. I have always disliked it when people would blame their "misfortune" on the unfair treatment they received because of their ethnicity - you don't make excuses; you do, however "make your own luck". Victims do not stand up for themselves and do not continue to be used and abused; victims do not strive to glean life lessons from their experiences to grow spiritually and emotionally. Ms Eng did both and found the inner strength AND her voice to overcome that experience and then shared that experience with other women, Asian or not, so that we are encouraged to find our own voices and to not accept poor treatment. The fact that many Asians have not spoken of this kind of treatment does not mean that it hasn't and doesn't still occur. Much of this probably has to do with our family upbringing-of being uncomplaining, not creating waves and being stoic.PLEASE DO NOT MISS THIS BOOK- it is uplifting, thought-provoking, healing and can ultimately be life-changing.

I had to pace myself while reading this book, because I didn't want it to end. This book was like my own private work-out session that helped me see my life choices in a whole new way. I'm a Filipino American woman, raised in a very Catholic family, and faced with a lot of the same dilemmas that Eng faced - how to follow my own path while still trying to be the daughter my family expects me to be. I loved what she wrote about how to view interracial relationships, too. Eng was really brave to tell her stories, and for that I really admire her. She shows us that as Asian American women we have to keep each other strong, not to cut each other down at every chance we get. I'm glad she said this, because I've seen a lot of criticism and negativity happen between Asian women, and I'm glad Eng calls it for what it is.

I loved the part where Eng tells a story about life in the law firm - it was so well told that I knew exactly what she was feeling since I've been there too. She also described what goes on in Asian families with incredible honesty. She wrote things down that I could never admit to myself but always felt. The more I read the book, the more I understood that this isn't only for Asian women. It's for everyone.

As an Asian American woman, I can relate to this book 100%. Phoebe Eng writes about complicated topics such as relationships, family, self perception and career in the ways that I have always felt in my own life but could never find in books. Her writing is refreshing and brutally honest, and the advice she gives, especially to parents and daughters, was what I needed to hear.

I found this book facsinating and insightful. It is easly to read and fully engaging -- Eng is grand story teller. While I found a few of her conclusions a bit of a stretch, most were right on target. Overall, the book was enlightening -- it revealed society's stereotypes and enabled me to re-investigate my own projections and prejudices.

This book has elicited some very strong opinions -- and to me that means it's hitting a nerve with readers. That is excellent news, because a book like this should be controversial. I think Warrior Lessons elicits strong opinions, because it is about a silenced group finally voicing itself in a way that people are not accustomed to. It's strong, opinionated, and proud of itself, as opposed to self-deprecating and humble. That kind of gutsy gesture by Ms. Eng has helped me tremendously in understanding some of the issues faced by Asian Americans women. I am a psychologist with several Asian American clients who have expressed some of the same concerns as Eng does. And I've recommended the book to them. It's not a surprise that they all came back with rave reviews. Many of them felt a weight being lifted off their shoulders. They finally realized they were not alone. In fact, what they were feeling was quite normal. As a note to a previous reviewer who said that this book might not be for violence survivors, you're probably right. But one book cannot speak for an entire people, as Eng says right up front. Make no mistake, this is a pivotal and important book.

I bought the book for both of us to read together, and all I can say is I wish this for every mother and daughter. Somehow the book presented things in a way where we could continue our own discussion about expectations, our family history, etc. Even though I consider myself old-fashioned, I liked Pheobe Eng's messages. I think she cares about how we keep the generations talking to each other and not to let ourselves fall into silence. My daughter told me things that she never told me before and it made me understand how hard things are for her sometimes. But she is always strong so I never understood that she should be going through these things. I think this book has changed us forever.

Before this book, it seems like so many books by Asian American women writers were about pain and suffering. As if that's the only way we knew how to be. Finally, here's a book that puts our voice in a really hopeful, confident light. I love it! Finally, we can read about a future that's more than geishas, sex kittens, and erotica. I hope Eng gets all the support from her Asian American sisters that she certainly deserves.

It was the perfect mixture of anecdotes, information and insight. Not only was I able to empathize with the the Asian-American woman whose experiences are collected here, but I was able to fortify myself with hard evidence from science, media and academia that there IS something different about growing up an Asian woman in America. This book made me feel closer to all my sisters, literal and figurative, and closer to my mother and women of her generation. I'd recommend it to women of EVERY ethnicity, as an guide to understanding yourself in context with your family, friends, lovers, ancestors, and colleagues -- past, present and future.

Even though I didn't agree with everything that Eng had to say, I found the book very helpful in aiding me to find my own path as an Asian American woman. While reading the book, I expected and was looking forward to Eng giving me detailed advice about how to run my life! What really caught me off guard was her message that there is no one path and that we should pave our own!