on January 16, 2016
This is a bad cult film filmed in and around Erie, Pa. After WWIII, which looked a lot like WWII film reels, 3 women try to make it from the nuclear wasteland to the safe confines of "The City" ruled by a woman dictator who likes to hang out in a swimming pool naked. Along the way they have to battle other scavengers in the Wasteland who have a fight club. Rule 1: All female captors must be stripped. There are also cannibals whose faces look like they are covered with strawberry cream cheese. (You might keep some bagels close by.) They also have to battle some bad CG fire and gun fire effects. The girls, in real life, have martial art skills, but the fight scenes looked horrible when coupled with former professional wrestlers with speed ups and frequent pauses.
The plot ran weak. The special effects where ineffective. The sound could have been better. Metal/Death Metal music used for most of the fights except that junkyard battle which played the same riff over and over until it got annoying. Part of the excitement came from jerking the camera around.
"Apocalypse Female Warriors" is the recycling of "Warriors of the Apocalypse" which is typically a bad sign. Blockbusters don't get re-released under a different title.
The film boasted plenty blood and an over-the-top head shot that air gaps the ears.
Guide: F-bomb, FF nudity. More nudity and sex in the deleted scenes. 3 stars for the nudity. A film for bad film lovers. Not for everyone.
on March 7, 2012
When I first got this film it didn't have the John Cena or look-alike on the cover. Nooo, it had some females carrying heavy automatic weapons and dressed in bikinis. Which is how I KNEW it was going to be a very REALISTIC film because after all, isn't that how women USUALLY dress if they are fighting for survival? You know, the less clothes the less they restrict their MOVEMENT.
Oh YEAH it's bad. I really couldn't finish this film. Couldn't even get halfway through, which is unusual for me; generally I sit through even bad movies to the end, just to see if there might be ONE decent minute that redeems it to some degree. Don't count on it here. Oh the fight scenes? Yeah they must have rehearsed those at least...TWICE maybe. The visuals? Just terrible. Dialog? DON'T ASK. Acting? Let's just say all these folk should have stuck with adult films where acting, dialog, special effects, plot--none of those things are really needed or expected. What you have here is an adult film lacking any actually interesting adult scenes. Don't waste your time on this one.
on January 31, 2012
Okay, I've seen some bad movies before. Most bad movies I actually like. But this has to literally be the Worst Movie I've Ever Seen. No hyperbole. No exaggeration. The. Worst. Movie. Looks like "Southland Tales" and "2012" just lost their title.
How did this even get distributed? Did one of these old women sleep with a producer or something? It's not just bad because it's Low Budget, though. It has some of the worst acting and special effects ever, goes for blatant sex appeal and fails due to how unattractive these women are, and stars (and seems to target) illiterate rednecks. My god, this is just horrendous on every level. Though to be fair, the first 8 minutes are way worse than the rest of the movie and it looked like they switched directors or got a slightly bigger budget or something. The "fight scenes" seemed to be done by real martial artists, but the thing that makes them suck is real Karate is impractial for any kind of real fighting purposes. I should know. It's more just to show off what you can do with discipline and hard training. How useful is a leaping roundhouse kick ever going to be in a real street fight? As in here, when you try to use realistic karate moves for fight scenes, all you get is some VERY slow action scenes with guys literally just standing there waiting to get roundhouse kicked... very slowly.
Out of everyone in this trainwreck of something filmed on camera they decided to call a "movie," I truly feel sorry for Brian Anthony and Renee Porada, the only two real martial artists in the movie. While Anthony has the looks and fight skills to be a real B-Action Movie star (or maybe, supporting character), he's going to forever have his name labeled to this. I'd say he's not a good actor, but there's not a single good actor in this to compare him to, so... yeah. And Renee Porada is also a trained martial artist, and the *only* attractive female in this entire movie, and yet ironically, is the only female to not have a nude scene in this. Which is a good thing, because she actually seems like someone who isn't an out-of-shape Pennsylvania redneck with bad teeth, trying to play a tough apocalypse survivor with skilled hand-to-hand combat and firearms training. She's the only one who has any kind of watchable scenes in this whole thing, and yet, she's the most minor character of the main cast. Just to note, she's also the only one to not curse every other word.
When I was watching it, the only way I could describe this "movie" was as if it was a real-life, completely straight version of that SNL Digital Short, "Laser Cats." Yes, this is a 100% legitimate Laser Cats. Only that's ctually entertaining. Avoid this at ALL costs! I actually like 'bad movies' but if it wasn't for Renee Porada, would've felt really angry I wasted both rental time and watching time with this... mess.
And WHY is their a picture of John Cena as the cover on here? That's just too funny.