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Watch Me Die [Kindle Edition]

Lee Goldberg
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (192 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $11.99
Kindle Price: $4.99
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  • Length: 208 pages
  • Whispersync for Voice: Ready
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Kindle Edition $4.99  
Paperback $10.24  
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Natural History
Neil Cross is a British novelist and screenwriter best known as the creator of the multiple-award-winning international hit BBC crime series Luther. Natural History, his latest effort, is a suspense novel using an animal sanctuary as an intriguing setting.

Book Description

"As dark and twisted as anything Hammett or Chandler ever dreamed up...." Kirkus, Starred Review

"Approaching the level of Lawrence Block is no mean feat, but Goldberg succeeds with this engaging PI novel." Publishers Weekly

Harvey Mapes is a 26-year-old security guard who spends his nights in a guard shack outside a gated community in Southern California, reading detective novels, watching reruns, and waiting for his life to finally start… which happens when Cyril Parkus, one of the wealthy residents, asks Harvey to follow his beautiful wife Lauren.

The lowly security guard jumps at the opportunity to fulfill his private eye fantasies and use everything he’s learned from Spenser, Magnum, and Mannix. But things don’t exactly go according to the books…or the reruns. As Harvey fumbles and stumbles through his first investigation, he discovers that the differences between fiction and reality can be deadly.

With the help of his mortgage broker neighbor and occasional lover Carol, Harvey uncovers a blackmail plot that takes a sudden and unexpectedly tragic turn…plunging him into a world of violence, deception and murder… and forcing him to discover what it really takes to be a private eye.

(This book was previously released under the title "The Man With the Iron-On Badge" and nominated for Best Novel by the Private Eye Writers of America)


“A wonderfully fresh voice in the mystery genre, Goldberg will delight fans of Janet Evanovich and Robert Crais,” - Rick Riordan, author of "Percy Jackson & the Olympians"

"Lee Goldberg bravely marches into territory already staked out by some fierce competition--Donald Westlake, Lawrence Block, the early Harlan Coben--and comes out virtually unscathed." The Chicago Tribune

"Goldberg has a knack for combining just the right amount of humor and realism with his obvious love for the PI genre and his own smart ass sensibilities. [...]A terrific read. Goldberg is the real deal and should be on everyone’s must read list." Crimespree Magazine

"A quick, fun read with a satisfying and unexpected ending. Harvey Mapes is a hero I hope we see in a sequel." -- Phillip Margolin, author of "Gone But Not Forgotten"

Editorial Reviews


Great concept and great's funny, thrilling, and quirky, with a completely satisfying ending you won't see coming. --Barry Eisler, New York Times bestselling author

Lee Goldberg is known for his cleverness and sense of humor. He shows how a masterful plotter can take a character in a comic situation and lead him into unexpected danger in an eye-blink. --Thomas Perry, New York Times bestselling author 

When Harvey Mapes gets a chance to step out of his job as a security guard to be a private detective [...]he finds courage he never thought he had and the malleable conscience every successful PI needs. If you're looking for a great read, look no further. --Joel Goldman, bestselling author of "Motion to Kill"

About the Author

Lee Goldberg is New York Times & USA Today bestseller author and a two-time Edgar Award nominee. His TV writing and/or producing credits include "Hunter," "SeaQuest,"  "Diagnosis Murder," "Martial Law," "Monk" and "The Glades." His many books include "The Heist" (written with Janet Evanovich), "King City," "The Walk," and the "Monk" series of original mystery novels

Product Details

  • File Size: 449 KB
  • Print Length: 208 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Adventures in Television; 4 edition (June 8, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #40,057 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
49 of 49 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fun read! August 25, 2011
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Since I no longer find the time to read like I use to "a fun read" is one of the best compliments I can give this book and its author. I found out about "Watch Me Die" when Lee Goldberg appeared on TV Confidential and since years ago I had enjoyed his book "My Gun Has Bullets" I decided to buy "Watch Me Die". I already knew it dealt a character (Harvey Mapes) who watched all the private investigator shows that I enjoy watching and I love all the humor that comes from Harvey finding out things aren't the same way in real life but what I didn't know was how wrapped up I would get in the actual mystery. I found myself saying "just one more chapter" and then I couldn't put the book down until I had read all the way to end. I love the way the mystery was solved especially since it took me by surprise. Now that is what I call entertainment!
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29 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Read This In Bed With Your Spouse Asleep January 13, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
As a fan of mysteries, the title caught my eye so I decided to get this book. The story was all engrossing, but some of Harvey Mapes commentary had me cackling and in the process waking up my wife on two consecutive nights. The plot line never missed a beat and in the process became secondary (at least to me) with his self deprecating wit. Don't get me wrong. The story was great, but the way he goes about telling the story will keep you in stitches. Author Lee Goldberg now has a new fan. I'll be getting more of his books.
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23 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Everything I Know I Learned Watching TV July 8, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
Watch Me Die is a fun, fast read. When Harvey Mapes gets a chance to step out of his job as a security guard to be a private detective, he relies on a legion of TV PI's, from Magnum to Spenser, using the tricks of the trade he learned by watching them on TV, to solve a case. Sidestepping dead bodies and a killer that wants to add him to that exclusive club, he finds courage he never thought he had and the malleable conscience every successful PI needs. And, he falls in love. Not a bad way to start a new life. If you're looking for a great read, look no further. All you need is Watch Me Die!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved This Book June 15, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition
I read Watch Me Die under its original title, which I also liked a lot: The Man With The Iron-On Badge. Great concept and great execution, in some ways presaging what was done for superheroes in Kick-Ass. It's funny, thrilling, and quirky, with a completely satisfying ending you won't see coming. If you haven't read it yet, you've been missing out on the proverbial thrills, chills, and laughter. Give it a try!
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
This book was one of the most fun reads ever; the main Character was someone I could relate to so well. A guy barely getting by with a boring job finds himself living his dream being like all his favorite detective dime store novels and TV shows. All the shows I grew up watching and still watch.

The story takes off and rolls right along revealing more and more clues on a case that can either give him a new life or end it. Plenty twist and turns that keep you going ah-ha.

I hope we get more stories of Harvey Mapes
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable Read January 23, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is the first book of Lee Goldberg's that I have read, and I thoughouly enjoyed it. It was a good story that moved along at a nice pace. Not your usual protagonist, definately some unexpected plot twists and an ejoyable ending. Some romance, some humor - worth a read.

I will be reading some more of Goldberg's books now.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars fast paced March 2, 2012
By al12ma
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Lee captures beautifully the transformation of a bumbling,awkward,PI wannabe security guard to a hardcore PI with conviction.Lee's simple but powerful writing style with great sense of humor helps to move the plot at jet speed.The mystery is well maintained.Lee has been able to maintain the reader hooked to the exploits of common man hero Harvey,and what he is really up to.An excellent read.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fast-paced pi thriller September 26, 2011
Read the paperback version of Watch Me Die over the weekend. I've never read this genre before and enjoyed the book tremendously. The arc budding private investigator Harvey Mapes goes through is riveting and nothing like the televisual fantasy of the pi's Harvey and we watch on TV (as he quite painfully finds out). You root for Harvey as he grows as an investigator and a man as the story unfolds. I hope Lee Goldberg (writer/producer on such TV treats as Diagnosis Murder and seaQuest 2032) writes another adventure for Harvey Mapes (and main squeeze Carol) soon.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars A lot of fun!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is always amusing and at times laugh out loud funny. The pop culture references to PI TV shows and books were great fun, and having a... Read more
Published 8 days ago by Gatorsoft
5.0 out of 5 stars A really funny PI story
Every now and again I find a book that really makes me laugh - and this is one of them. It is dark and twisted, really funny with a quite unexpected ending. Read more
Published 20 days ago by Suncoast
3.0 out of 5 stars easy read
At first it's fun to read the satire, then it's too much. The story was ok, just should have left out most of the comparisons
Published 20 days ago by Jody B
5.0 out of 5 stars Nearly perfect
I really enjoyed this book. Harvey Mapes is a hapless security guard at a gated community until he's given an opportunity to break out of the routine and be a private detective. Read more
Published 21 days ago by Merrill Heath
5.0 out of 5 stars thoroughly enjoyable
Read from cover to cover in one sitting. As soon as I'm finished writing this review, I intend to check out Goldberg's other books.
Published 1 month ago by j
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
I couldn't put this down. Read it in one day. The story is so amusing. Laugh out loud funny at times and moving also. Very good author.
Published 1 month ago by Linda
5.0 out of 5 stars good read.
Nice book,good ending. Entertains beginning to end. I recommend for an enjoyable read. Several twists and turns in the plot.
Published 1 month ago by G. P. Sheffield
1.0 out of 5 stars Count the f-bombs
Watch Me Die lost me in the first paragraph. Just to be sure I wasn't quitting too soon, I counted f-bombs: about 50. Too many for me to enjoy reading. At least I only paid $1.99.
Published 1 month ago by William C. Mead
3.0 out of 5 stars Watch me die
I enjoyed the book . Nicely written and making me want to not put it down until I had finished it. Makes this a great read.
Published 1 month ago by CJHAWK
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
This book was much better than I expected it to be in the beginning. Such a pleasure to read and very different from the run of the mill who done it mysteries. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Autumn Bowerman
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More About the Author

Lee Goldberg is an ex-Navy SEAL, freelance Sexual Surrogate and a professional Pierce Brosnan impersonator.

Okay, that's not true. But he wants this biography to be really exciting, so pay attention. If things bog down, I've been instructed to add a car chase or some explicit sex.

Here's the real story. Lee Goldberg writes books and television shows.

His mother wanted him to be a doctor, and his grandfather wanted him to go into the family furniture business. Instead, he put himself through UCLA as a freelance journalist, writing for such publications as American Film, Starlog, Newsweek, The Los Angeles Times Syndicate, The Washington Post and The San Francisco Chronicle (He also wrote erotic letters to the editor for Playgirl at $25-a-letter, but he doesn't tell people about that, he just likes to boast about those "tiffany" credits).

He published his first book ".357 Vigilante" (as "Ian Ludlow," so he'd be on the shelf next to Robert Ludlum) while he was still a UCLA student. The West Coast Review of Books called his debut "as stunning as the report of a .357 Magnum, a dynamic premiere effort," singling the book out as "The Best New Paperback Series" of the year. Naturally, the publisher promptly went bankrupt and he never saw a dime in royalties. (But the books are available on the Kindle as "The Jury Series")

Welcome to publishing, Lee.

His subsequent books include the non-fiction books "Successful Television Writing" and "Unsold Television Pilots" ("The Best Bathroom Reading Ever!" San Francisco Chronicle) as well as the novels "My Gun Has Bullets" ("It will make you cackle like a sitcom laugh track," Entertainment Weekly), "Dead Space" ("Outrageously entertaining," Kirkus Reviews), "Watch Me Die" ("as dark and twisted as anything Hammet or Chandler ever dreamed up," Kirkus Reviews).

"Take me now," she moaned, "you hot writer stud."

She tore off her clothes and tackled him onto the floor, unable to control her raging lust. Nothing excited her more than being around a writer with a big list of books.

Got your attention again? Good. I don't know about you, but I was starting to nod off. Where was I? Oh yes...

Goldberg broke into television with a freelance script sale to "Spenser: For Hire." Since then, his TV writing & producing credits have covered a wide variety of genres, including sci-fi (SeaQuest), cop shows (Hunter, The Glades), martial arts (Martial Law), whodunits (Diagnosis Murder, Nero Wolfe), the occult (She-Wolf of London), kid's shows (R.L. Stine's The Nightmare Room), T&A (Baywatch), comedy (Monk) and utter crap (The Highwayman). His TV work has earned him two Edgar Award nominations from the Mystery Writers of America.

His two careers, novelist and TV writer, merged when he began writing the "Diagnosis Murder" series of original novels, based on the hit CBS TV mystery that he also wrote and produced, and later wrote the 15 bestselling novels based on "Monk," another show that he worked on. He's also the co-creator of Amazon's "The Dead Man" series of monthly horror novellas and the author of the crime thriller "King City." Most recently, he teamed up with Janet Evanovich to write the New York Times bestselling books "The Heist" and "Pros & Cons."

But perhaps he's best known for his pioneering work mapping the human genome and negotiating the North American Free Trade Agreement.

Goldberg lives in Los Angeles with his wife and his daughter and still sleeps in "Man From UNCLE" pajamas.

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