The Way to Love (Image Pocket Classics) (Paperback)

~ Anthony De Mello (Author) "Recall the kind of feeling you have when someone praises you, when you are approved, accepted, applauded..." (more)
Key Phrases: insecurity feelings

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Anthony De Mello was the director of the Sadhana Insitute of Pastoral Counseling in Poona, India, and has authored serveral books. The Way to Love is his last.

From the Publisher

The Way To Love contains the final flowering of Anthony de Mello's thought, and in it he grapples with the ultimate question of love. In thirty-one meditations, he implores his readers with his usual pithiness to break through illusion, the great obstacle to love. "Love springs from awareness," de Mello insists, saying that it is only when we see others as they are that we can begin to really love. But not only must we seek to see others with clarity, we must examine ourselves without misconception. The task, however, is not easy. "The most painful act," de Mello says, "is the act of seeing. But in that act of seeing that love is born." Anthony De Mello was the director of the Sadhana Institute of Pastoral Counseling in Poona, India, and authored several books. The Way To Love is his last.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 196 pages
• Publisher: Image Books, Doubleday (June 1, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 038524939X
• ISBN-13: 978-0385249393
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 3.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #11,406 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

58 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A potent little book, March 14, 2001

By	John S. Ryan "Scott Ryan" (Silver Lake, OH) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)

Not being a Christian myself, I'm not inclined to get terribly bent out of shape about whether Anthony de Mello (z'tz'l; of blessed memory) takes some of Jesus's remarks out of context. But Christians may well be concerned about that, and the previous reviewer is quite right to warn about it. (So why all those "not helpful" votes? Are there any Christians who _don't_ find such warnings helpful?)

On the other hand, I'm not persuaded that de Mello _is_ taking anything out of context. There is a loooooooooooong tradition in Christianity, is there not, of recognizing that even Jesus's most casual words are charged with hidden spiritual significance and trying to discern their "inner" meaning through meditation?

Be that as it may, the reader should be aware that this is not a book "about" Christianity or Christian theology or biblical hermeneutics or anything else of the sort. De Mello has exactly one purpose in writing, and he isn't messing around: as he remarks in _Awareness_, imitating Christ doesn't make you Christlike any more than playing a saxophone makes a monkey a musician. "You've got," de Mello says, "to _be_ Christ." And the entire purpose of the short meditations in this little volume is precisely to make you "_be_ Christ."

Heresy? Well, as a non-Christian I'm not an authority on whom you should rely here -- but as I recall, the New Testament does say that Christians are supposed to "have the mind of Christ" and "be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

For de Mello, God is a lot more interested in our transformation than in our "worship," and He probably isn't too bothered by the possibility that somebody may quote a couple of gospel sentences out of context in helping us to be thus transformed. De Mello thinks this transformation is a _lot_ more important than saying "Lord, Lord" and having one's theological/exegetical ducks in a row.

And for de Mello, this transformation is achieved through insight -- insight into reality itself and into the nature of the bad "programming" that keeps us from noticing that we don't need anything else in order to be happy.

Disagree? Get in line; I have plenty of disagreements with him myself. And there is probably no reader in the world, Christian or otherwise, who will find nothing to disagree with in de Mello's sometimes infuriating writings. He doesn't care; he likes our disagreement just fine, so long as we are _responding_ rather than just "reacting."

This little book, like all of de Mello's writings, is mighty potent. Whether for good or for evil, you decide.

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Man Changed My Life, February 16, 2004

By	Swing King (Cincinnati, OH USA) - See all my reviews

As other reviewers have alluded to, this book is deceivingly small. Do not let it's size dupe you for one moment! This composition is said to be Anthony de Mello's last authored words, filled with both profound wisdom and plenty of tidbits for personal contemplations for us booklovers. Anthony de Mello selects pieces from the Gospels in the Bible, weaving together a book all about living a life in love. It is truly extraordinary! Now I for my part do not belong to the Christian traditions, I practice Zen Buddhism in contrast. But these are just names. Religious life is simply life. Why spend our time only experiencing just one kind of religion, when we can take away some of the best from each one of them? Anthony de Mello, in my present day evaluation, represents the "best of" the Christian tradition for me to now benefit from. I imagine you will find the same. Have a pleasure reading this jewel over and over again.

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A gem amoung spiritual books, February 2, 2004

By	Steve Suh (Atlanta, GA United States) - See all my reviews

Most people don't know of him yet he may have achieved
enlightenment in this lifetime. I first found out about
Anthony de Mello when a friend lent me a video where he
was leading a meeting in New Jersey in the early 80s. Watching
him in person you cannot help but be impressed by the
clarity of his mind and his understanding of the human heart.
He was willing to say things that challenged our core beliefs
about what makes one happy but in a gentle and compassionate
way not one based on superiority. So it was a delight to
find out that he was able to leave something that may help
others in their own spiritual quest. The book can be read
in an hour or two and at the end of book you are inspired by his
sincere attempt to help you to see how most of our
suffering is caused by our own misguided thinking. I always
feel more liberated after reading his book. Other authors
that are useful to me are Carlos Casteneda, Eckhart Tolle,
and Girard Haven.