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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire Paperback – 2004

4.2 out of 5 stars 720 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"I keep giving this book away; I think I've owned 30 different copies already. I tend to pass it out to anybody, man or woman, who has made a commitment to-or even has a passing interest in-the art of loving. David Deida gets it, like no one I've ever read, and he writes about it forcefully, honestly, and downright poetically."
-Michael Tucker, actor and author "The Way of the Superior Man is quite wonderful. Finally, a guide for the noncastrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. I found it wise, insightful, occasionally brilliant, and always resourceful. To transcend the body-mind means to transcend and include its sexuality, not transcend and evaporate it. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality, instead of tepid sexuality diluted by a mediocre spiritual stance. This book steps straightforwardly into the challenge. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine."
-Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit "At last! A book that explains the heart and soul of a woman to men. As a woman, I've never felt so understood and validated. This book is a key to helping men and women take their relationships one step further. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships."
-Marci Shimoff, co-author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul "The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. I invite you to live in the moment, to love openly, and to step up to the plate with this book in your hand."
-Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power "David's work speaks to the core of our work as men. He offers a bold view of men, and challenges us to stand up and lay claim to the beauty and power of the masculine. He does not advocate superiority as in 'superiority to women.' He speaks of superiority as the Greeks might. The challenge is strictly internal. The invitation is to rise above our mediocrity, to let go of making excuses for our own laziness, to stop apologizing for who we are, and to stop blaming others or our childhood for how we've become. He asks that we step into the fullness of our being-intense, focused, powerful, clear. And directly connected to our hearts."
-Dennis Mead-Shikaly, Executive Director: The ManKind Project / New Warrior Network

About the Author

David Deida

Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His ten books are published in more than twenty-five languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his recent books include Blue Truth, The Enlightened Sex Manual, The Way of the Superior Man, and Instant Enlightenment


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 207 pages
  • Publisher: Sounds True; 1St Edition edition (2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591792576
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591792574
  • Product Dimensions: 0.5 x 6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (720 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
First of all, if I wasn't already familiar with the good ideas in this book, I would have summarily dismissed the whole thing as feel-good spiritual nonsense. Deida's writing looks like mine when I just start writing what I feel without really trying to make any logical sense. The effect on me while reading was that even though I knew in my head that the words were gibberish, I knew exactly what he was trying to say and which important concepts he was trying to impart. It was an odd experience.

The good:
- Not only does the book start from the premise that there IS a desirable middle ground between being a timid wuss of a man-boy and being a knuckle-dragging, chauvinistic thug; the whole book attempts to be a manual on how to become that middle ground. I would say it's even a good start at succeeding.
- Emphasis on living in pursuit of your own purpose. Not your dad's, not your girlfriend's, not that of disembodied pop culture. Yours.
- The fundamental principle of giving to the world instead of taking.
- The focus on rooting out insecurity.
- The discussions about fundamental differences between masculine and feminine. If you take away nothing other than the realization that there are in fact big differences, the book is worth the read.
- Discussions on things like ego death, living consciously, and the notion of "emptiness." These are basically repackaged Buddhist and samurai concepts. They aren't new, but they are important.

The bad:
- If I read the words "truth" or "love" one more time I thought I might try to reach through my Kindle and choke the author. I disagree with the top positive reviewer: the writing got repetitive VERY quickly.
- The spiritual slant of the writing probably alienates a lot of readers, including me.
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Format: Paperback
I first saw this book on my husband's bookshelf before we were married, and I borrowed and read it. My thoughts at the time: Wow, if this man really believes and lives the principles in this book, he is the one for me! Four years of married bliss and a 3-year-old child later, I still think this. David Deida's basic premise: there is a "Way of the Superior Man" that both includes and transcends the "tough" concept of masculinity of our ancestors, and the "sensitive man" concept of more recent years, that frees a man to be both powerful and purposeful, and also feeling and spiritually alive. This has profound effects in all areas of a man's life from work to sex to relationships with women. I can attest to the value of this premise from my husband's success in his career, our marriage/sexual relationship, and as a father and a spiritual being. Being a superior man is not necessarily an easy path, but hugely rewarding. I highly recommend this book to women as well as Deida's books "Dear Lover" and "It's a Guy Thing" to better understand healthy masculine/feminine dynamics and deepen their relationships with men.

For those who feel an author must be "credentialed" (MD or PhD or whatever) to offer this type of advice, or who are looking for hard data research to back up the claims he makes, this book may disappoint. I would just encourage such readers to suspend judgement long enough to give the book a read, take what they find to ring true and useful and leave the rest. There is a lot of value here, and I have found it to be "proven" in my own experience with men and as a woman.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Who the hell is this psychopath....

So according to him women's "divine responsibility" is to revolve our lives around a man's erection and love him and only him - otherwise we just grow old, get sick and die. Men on the other hand have other more important values in life than their replaceable intimate partner. And all of this is written with rich vocabulary of words like cum, a##hole, w#ore etc. Just your normal modern spiritual guru)))....
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Format: Audio CD Verified Purchase
I greatly anticipated the arrival of this audio book. I quickly discovered though that the teaching sessions are not an abridged or unabridged version of the book but rather an expounding of its principles. I'm sure I got every idea presented in the book and then some though. I've never had a harder time getting through an audio book! I'm not averse to new age lingo and feel good fluff but this book was just plain rediculous. First of all his voice gets annoying very quickly and I think quite literally every sentence ends with the phrase "give your deepest love" or "from your deepest heart" or "give you deepest gift". It's like meeting someone at a party who thinks they know everything and they rant and rant and rant in a stream of thought flow rather than delivering a coherent and distinct message. He actually poses a question at one point to the effect of "would having one sex partner help you to give your deepest gift or would several sex partners be needed?" Let me discuss that with my wife and see how she thinks I should give my "deepest gift". By the way, can the phrase "give your deepest gift" be any more vague and useless???? The book boils down to you being the masculine open ocean of nothingness and maintaining that connection while your lunatic wife/girlfriend/one of many sex partners (which is great too according to him) runs around acting psychotic and complaining because thats what the feminine aspect does! The feminine is a wily tornado of emotions according to Deida. Apparently every woman, when not in her masculine, is effectivly a spoiled 13 year old drama queen.Read more ›
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