Customer Reviews

We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo

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As the parent of a boy adopted from Korea, I find this story follows ours quite closely. The process and the issues are the same for many adoptive families. The only thing missing from this book is any mention of a birth father. The birth mother's role is handled well, but there is no reference to a birth father. This book starts when Benjamin is nine years old. That's when the real questions about adoption can begin.

In many ethnic books, there are descriptions of humorous misunderstandings on the part of the outsiders who are unaware of American culture. In this book, the shoe is on the other foot. Korean Benjamin Koo is adopted by American parents and is flown across the Pacific (with a nurse) to the parents who have seen only a snapshot of their new baby. When their baby arrives dressed in pink, the mother panics. Believing more strongly in cultural clues than in the nurse's assurances, she checks under the baby's clothes to make sure he is a boy. Pink and blue don't mean the same thing in Korea. Suddenly, our customs seem ridiculous. Why shouldn't a boy wear pink?

In straightforward fashion, the story goes on to describe how Benjamin slowly realized he was different from his parents, and he began wondering about his real parents. A wise guidance counselor helped him through most of the questions. When his parents adopted a girl from Brazil, Benjamin was better prepared to deal with the "dumb" questions from strangers, such as "Did they come from the same family?"

Watercolor illustrations are average quality, not Jerry Pinkney but nothing to complain about. They carry the story along well. Incidentally, this is the true experience of a real boy, and Holt International Children's Services is credited for their assistance in the facts of this story.

I am the assistant director of an international adoption agency. When I reviewed this book, I immediately posted on our client group about it! Even though it is a bit dated, it is very relevant. I love the fact it talks about the fact that he came in pink clothes and his mom even double-checked to make sure he really was a boy! We often receive pictures of children in "the opposite gender" clothes and it's important that kids understand these things when they are older so they are not confused when they look at their first pictures. Having this type of real info in a book written from a child's perspective is very important. Other subjects are approached briefly, but not dwelled on inappropriately: adoption fees, the amount of paperwork involved, the time he looked in the mirror to discover he looked different when before it was just the way it was, the feelings associated with finally understanding what adopted means, how a counselor helped, adoption of sibling, remarks people say out of ignorance or curiosity, celebrations from the children's respective birth countries, the things other kids say and the stereotypes that go with it, etc. The book ends with an encouragement from the child to ask questions because it's okay to ask, and to know that love and family has nothing to do with where you were born or who you look like.