Customer Reviews

We Are Driven: The Compulsive Behaviors America Applauds

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I thought it was humorous as I read this book to my wife during our 3,000-mile trip. Here we were, two fairly driven people, reading a book aloud and trying to get through all of it before we got home--is that driven or what? And then, we wondered, what about the authors? Were they also not driven people? I thought that perhaps they also had some of the "compulsive behaviors America applauds," such as workaholism and perfectionism, just to write this book and have a successful nationwide counseling practice.

The authors put together chapters that deal with America's common compulsions--the isms. How do you break an addiction cycle? In part 2 of the book they list 9 points and show how each stage of the addiction cycle works. There were some good things said in these chapters along with exercises to see if you needed help in these areas (i.e. shame, low self-esteem, guilt, etc.). We did have a chance to talk about some things as we read the book, but usually it was off-topic. However, it was good that the book introduced the topic so we could communicate our feelings about personal issues that we deal with. And in several areas, the authors had good advice. It just seemed like most of the advice was to join a support group such as Al-Anon or (Blank) Anonymous, and we just have a hard time with the 12-step programs that they were being glorified in this book. Besides, none of these groups seemed to fit our needs very well. On several occasions we were very uncomfortable when the authors talked about the infamous "higher power," and while we have no problems with support groups in general, we believe that they should be centered on the true Higher Power, God Almighty, rather than some nameless and anonymous source of power. Perhaps our churches should better emphasize groups like this from a biblical perspective.

"We are Driven" could be a valuable resource for many people. If you are someone who is driven, we recommend that you read this with your special someone as it will certainly lead you to talk about some very important issues that affect your lives. These compulsive behaviors always affect other people, so why not deal with it with the most important person you know?

I think this book is an excellent start to dealing with 'positive' behaviors that are harming those around us. It is written by Christians from a godly perspective but is useful for anyone. Yes, we are all driven to some extent, but it's when those habits/compulsions are destroying our families/relationships that they are no longer positive. And they are rooted in 'proving' that we're good enough because somewhere along the line, we were convinced that we never could be good enough. In spite of what some people think, most people will not change without some type of support group/accountability. Twelve step programs are not the only or final answer but they can be a very useful step in the right direction. It has made a huge difference in my life and my happiness. I can finally respond to God's love without having to prove that 'I'm good enough.'