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We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes [Hardcover]

Patrick Jennings (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 6, 2009 8 and up3 and up

I am a snake.

No, not a rattlesnake. I just look like one. I'm a gopher snake.

One day an oily, filthy, fleshy human child crossed my path. As luck would have it, he knew the difference between a gopher snake and a rattlesnake. He has imprisoned me in a terrarium. His name is Gunnar. He calls me Crusher. He thinks I'm male. I'm not.

He dropped in a dead mouse and hoped I'd eat it. I buried it. He then dropped in a live one, which he called "Breakfast." I didn't lay a coil on it.

Gunnar thinks I'll be his adoring pet. He's wrong.

In fact, I am planning my escape. I may take Breakfast with me.

Crusher will charm readers in this entertaining, clever novel about a snake in captivity and how she turns the tables on her human captor.


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Told by Crusher, a gopher snake, this pointed story might encourage middle-graders to rethink their relationships to any pets that are incarcerated in cages. Briefly mistaken for a rattlesnake, the venomless Crusher is caught by Gunnar, an oily, filthy, fleshy human child who displays an outsize insensitivity to his collection of creatures. Gunnar's mother, who never follows through on either threats or promises, and his uninvolved father do not build a strong case for the humans in this tale, although their characterizations explain a lot about Gunnar's expectations of his pets. Advised by Gunnar's other captive reptiles, Crusher decides that her best chance at freedom lies in pretending to be fully domesticated; the trouble is, she begins to feel sorry for Gunnar. While the interspecies dialogue doesn't reach the heights of James Howe's Bunnicula comedies, the humor here is more acerbic and the focus more squarely on the human interactions. Ages 8–12. (Jan.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From School Library Journal

Grade 4–6—After being captured by "an oily, filthy, fleshy human child" named Gunnar, a female gopher snake gets an up-close view of the human world. Christened Crusher by her captor, the snake communicates telepathically with the other reptiles in his room and learns that the boy has a bad track record with his pets, soon losing interest in them and becoming absorbed in his video games. Crusher at first refuses to eat any food Gunner provides and even befriends the live mouse he brings her—Breakfast. At first standoffish, Crusher attempts to act tame in order to get an opportunity to escape; at the same time, she begins to develop compassion for both her human and animal companions. Crusher is a compelling narrator, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Although some of the minor characters, such as Gunnar's friends, are not fully developed, kids are not likely to notice. They'll be too busy enjoying Crusher's commentary on human habits and absorbing the facts about snakes that are seamlessly integrated into the narrative. They will also come away with the message that wild animals don't make good pets. Give this to readers who enjoyed Anne Fine's Notso Hotso (Farrar, 2006).—Jackie Partch, Multnomah County Library, Portland, OR
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • Reading level: Ages 8 and up
  • Hardcover: 128 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins; 1 edition (January 6, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060821140
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060821142
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #662,077 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

As a kid Patrick Jennings was afraid of African black mambas and tigers. He grew up in Northwestern Indiana.

He got his first pair of glasses when he was eight, and always wished he had a nickname like his friend, Mike. Mike was called "Tiger" by everyone, even the teachers. Wow.

Patrick Jennings may be called "Tiger," if you wish, or "Tigersnack." Both names are hidden inside his name. (As is "Rat" and "Ratpick," but he's not as fond of those and discourages their use. "Jetpack" is fine.)

Before he became a professional writer, in 1995, Tigersnack was a paperboy, a busboy, a fry cook, a hoddy, a record store clerk, a courier, a teacher, and a librarian. He has since published sixteen books for young readers. Can you find them somewhere on this site?

Jetpack's books have featured such creatures as electric dogs, rocket cats, grebes, coots, kangaroo rats, werewolves, scorpions, horses grown from seed, teenagers, gopher snakes, guinea dogs, and a lucky (or perhaps unlucky) sixth grader. Stinking Carp (he doesn't like this one) is currently working on books about a bat, a rat, alien dognappers, an owl in a suit, and, naturally, a tiger.




 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Some Stockholm Syndrome snakey style, March 6, 2009
This review is from: We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes (Hardcover)
Talking animals. They're great. Where would we be without our "Charlotte's Web", our "The Wind in the Willows" or our "Babe The Gallant Pig"? Kids like to imagine their pets with rich inner lives. I think the recent success of books like "The Warriors" by Erin Hunter are evidence enough of that. And titles where kids capture and befriend wild animals? Whether you're talking about "Rascal" or "Wings", we're all familiar with the set-up. Child (usually a boy) finds and adopts a wild animal, usually injured. The two bond and then comes the painful separation at the end. Sniff snuck you're done. I imagine Patrick Jennings looking at such stories with a wry smile on his face. I mean, sure it sounds nice when you're talking about the bond between warm-blooded creatures. So what happens when a boy catches a snake with the sole purpose of seeing it kill and destroy other creatures? And what if we're getting all this from the snake's point of view as it desperately attempts to figure out a means of escape? Suddenly this heartwarming trope takes a more interesting turn, and if your author is good (and Jennings is) then you've got yourself a book that's short, exciting, interesting, funny, and touching in turns.

Had the gopher snake Gunnar captured actually been a rattler (as he initially thought it was) he still couldn't have been more pleased to add it to his collection of wild reptiles in separate terrariums. After naming the snake Crusher, Gunnar proceeds to watch her refuse to eat. Crusher has some standards, after all, and she has every intention of escaping from her unexpected prison. When Gunnar attempts to tempt her with a live mouse (one she mistakenly assumes is named Breakfast) her stubbornness turns the furry neighbor into a surprising friend. Crusher remains dedicated to escaping, but now she has a small mammal to take care of as well. And when the time comes, it's going to take all her cunning to get them both away safely.

The book stands at a scant 128 pages, ideal for the reluctant reader, in spite of its lack of pictures. In fact I have the strangest feeling that some of the kids who might like the book the most could be Gunnars of their own. The real trick to a book like this, however, is how effectively the writing is going to suck a reader in. For Crusher to be our heroine, she needs to be charming and infinitely all things snake. We need to believe that we're dealing with a reptile here. Jennings delivers. He knows how to convey snake anatomy and fears ("A snake has no greater fear than of falling. It's the lack of limbs. We can do nothing to prevent ourselves from flopping onto our ribs, and a snake is all ribs."). Snake maternal instincts ("I can't imagine living with one's offspring. I've never even met mine."). And snake disgust with human eating habits when confronted with milk in a fridge ("Mammal juice"). It isn't that you don't sympathize and grow to love Crusher. You just don't forget that this is a snake you're dealing with, and that is exactly how Crusher would prefer it.

The thing about Gunnar is that as a villain he doesn't harbor the sheer vindictiveness you'd find in, say, Gar Face from "The Underneath". No his cruelty is evident far more in his neglect. As a child alternately ignored and pampered by his negligent parents, Gunnar seeks affection from reptiles, even if he mistreats them in turn. He's a flawed boy, but not entirely unsympathetic. You understand why Crusher would be inclined to comfort him, but you are equally aware that escape is the only option here. The boy is a menace to anything he captures, and getting out alive isn't just a necessity, it's imperative.

The friendship between Crusher and Breakfast is delightful. Breakfast has all the brains of a mouse with the requisite panic and limited vocabulary you would expect from such a creature. In fact, Crusher's slow friendship with Breakfast reminded me of a great line in Charise Mericle Harper's graphic novel "Fashion Kitty". In that book a family of cats keeps a mouse as a pet, but it's acknowledged right off the bat that this is considered the equivalent of a human keeping a chocolate cake as a pet. The next panel shows a human with a cake on a leash saying wistfully, "I love you, but I really wish I could eat you." Crusher, to my infinite relief, doesn't become some vegetarian snake either. Sure, she eats a fair amount of eggs, but you get the feeling that Breakfast aside, she still harbors a sweet tooth for a fine frisky rodent.

The book would actually pair quite beautifully with "Snake and Lizard" by Joy Cowley. Both titles know how to make carnivorous snakes into loveable, if still essentially snakelike, characters. Though I was vaguely baffled by some of the ancient slang peppering this book (Mom, at one point, is said to be in danger of "having a cow" if she finds out something), I'm willing to forgive a book a lot if it includes a character eating a breakfast cereal called "Quasimod-Os". "We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes" is such a slim little novel, I worry it will get lost in the vast hoards of titles being released at this time. Do yourself a favor. Find it. Enjoy it. Give it to boys and girls alike, because when it comes to kid-friendly, well-written fare, this book is for everybody. A delicate little jewel of a novel.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars We can't all be worthwhile, March 19, 2011
This review is from: We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes (Hardcover)
A book told from the perspective of a gopher snake captured and kept by a slovenly and disgruntled boy. This is a great concept. The snake gradually begins to have sentiment for other creatures, and even begins to care about her captor. Great ending.

Some good puns - the breakfast cereal is Quasimod-O's. The mouse is named Breakfast.

Parent notes: Negligent parents, the boy has violent outbursts, and he tortures living creatures. Also starves them to death. Callous disregard for life - and that's the humans! Language: Good God, shut up, shut up, Eat me! (as a put-down), shut up, God Dad, shut up, This sucks, sucks, sucks, Jeez, shut up. It's not every page of the book, but it is unavoidable.

If you are looking for a better book told from the pet's perspective, try Betty G. Birney's Humphrey series. We liked them even better then Beverly Cleary's "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" Also, check out E.B. White's "The Trumpet of the Swan" - another wild creature that interacts with people.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic, engaging read!, September 12, 2009
This review is from: We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes (Hardcover)
My kids loved this book. I read it aloud to 4 of my children, ages 8,9,9, and 12. Not only did they enjoy it and laugh out loud, so did I. I would have enjoyed reading this book for myself, and I would have still been laughing out loud. Enough said!
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
pet parade, gopher snake, fuzzy ball
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Madame Snake, Master Tortoise, Vulture Feast
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Front Cover | Front Flap | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Flap | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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