Customer Reviews

We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes

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Talking animals. They're great. Where would we be without our "Charlotte's Web", our "The Wind in the Willows" or our "Babe The Gallant Pig"? Kids like to imagine their pets with rich inner lives. I think the recent success of books like "The Warriors" by Erin Hunter are evidence enough of that. And titles where kids capture and befriend wild animals? Whether you're talking about "Rascal" or "Wings", we're all familiar with the set-up. Child (usually a boy) finds and adopts a wild animal, usually injured. The two bond and then comes the painful separation at the end. Sniff snuck you're done. I imagine Patrick Jennings looking at such stories with a wry smile on his face. I mean, sure it sounds nice when you're talking about the bond between warm-blooded creatures. So what happens when a boy catches a snake with the sole purpose of seeing it kill and destroy other creatures? And what if we're getting all this from the snake's point of view as it desperately attempts to figure out a means of escape? Suddenly this heartwarming trope takes a more interesting turn, and if your author is good (and Jennings is) then you've got yourself a book that's short, exciting, interesting, funny, and touching in turns.

Had the gopher snake Gunnar captured actually been a rattler (as he initially thought it was) he still couldn't have been more pleased to add it to his collection of wild reptiles in separate terrariums. After naming the snake Crusher, Gunnar proceeds to watch her refuse to eat. Crusher has some standards, after all, and she has every intention of escaping from her unexpected prison. When Gunnar attempts to tempt her with a live mouse (one she mistakenly assumes is named Breakfast) her stubbornness turns the furry neighbor into a surprising friend. Crusher remains dedicated to escaping, but now she has a small mammal to take care of as well. And when the time comes, it's going to take all her cunning to get them both away safely.

The book stands at a scant 128 pages, ideal for the reluctant reader, in spite of its lack of pictures. In fact I have the strangest feeling that some of the kids who might like the book the most could be Gunnars of their own. The real trick to a book like this, however, is how effectively the writing is going to suck a reader in. For Crusher to be our heroine, she needs to be charming and infinitely all things snake. We need to believe that we're dealing with a reptile here. Jennings delivers. He knows how to convey snake anatomy and fears ("A snake has no greater fear than of falling. It's the lack of limbs. We can do nothing to prevent ourselves from flopping onto our ribs, and a snake is all ribs."). Snake maternal instincts ("I can't imagine living with one's offspring. I've never even met mine."). And snake disgust with human eating habits when confronted with milk in a fridge ("Mammal juice"). It isn't that you don't sympathize and grow to love Crusher. You just don't forget that this is a snake you're dealing with, and that is exactly how Crusher would prefer it.

The thing about Gunnar is that as a villain he doesn't harbor the sheer vindictiveness you'd find in, say, Gar Face from "The Underneath". No his cruelty is evident far more in his neglect. As a child alternately ignored and pampered by his negligent parents, Gunnar seeks affection from reptiles, even if he mistreats them in turn. He's a flawed boy, but not entirely unsympathetic. You understand why Crusher would be inclined to comfort him, but you are equally aware that escape is the only option here. The boy is a menace to anything he captures, and getting out alive isn't just a necessity, it's imperative.

The friendship between Crusher and Breakfast is delightful. Breakfast has all the brains of a mouse with the requisite panic and limited vocabulary you would expect from such a creature. In fact, Crusher's slow friendship with Breakfast reminded me of a great line in Charise Mericle Harper's graphic novel "Fashion Kitty". In that book a family of cats keeps a mouse as a pet, but it's acknowledged right off the bat that this is considered the equivalent of a human keeping a chocolate cake as a pet. The next panel shows a human with a cake on a leash saying wistfully, "I love you, but I really wish I could eat you." Crusher, to my infinite relief, doesn't become some vegetarian snake either. Sure, she eats a fair amount of eggs, but you get the feeling that Breakfast aside, she still harbors a sweet tooth for a fine frisky rodent.

The book would actually pair quite beautifully with "Snake and Lizard" by Joy Cowley. Both titles know how to make carnivorous snakes into loveable, if still essentially snakelike, characters. Though I was vaguely baffled by some of the ancient slang peppering this book (Mom, at one point, is said to be in danger of "having a cow" if she finds out something), I'm willing to forgive a book a lot if it includes a character eating a breakfast cereal called "Quasimod-Os". "We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes" is such a slim little novel, I worry it will get lost in the vast hoards of titles being released at this time. Do yourself a favor. Find it. Enjoy it. Give it to boys and girls alike, because when it comes to kid-friendly, well-written fare, this book is for everybody. A delicate little jewel of a novel.

A book told from the perspective of a gopher snake captured and kept by a slovenly and disgruntled boy. This is a great concept. The snake gradually begins to have sentiment for other creatures, and even begins to care about her captor. Great ending.

Some good puns - the breakfast cereal is Quasimod-O's. The mouse is named Breakfast.

Parent notes: Negligent parents, the boy has violent outbursts, and he tortures living creatures. Also starves them to death. Callous disregard for life - and that's the humans! Language: Good God, shut up, shut up, Eat me! (as a put-down), shut up, God Dad, shut up, This sucks, sucks, sucks, Jeez, shut up. It's not every page of the book, but it is unavoidable.

If you are looking for a better book told from the pet's perspective, try Betty G. Birney's Humphrey series. We liked them even better then Beverly Cleary's "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" Also, check out E.B. White's "The Trumpet of the Swan" - another wild creature that interacts with people.

My kids loved this book. I read it aloud to 4 of my children, ages 8,9,9, and 12. Not only did they enjoy it and laugh out loud, so did I. I would have enjoyed reading this book for myself, and I would have still been laughing out loud. Enough said!

One day in the hot Arizona desert, a gopher snake was spied and then abducted by a fierce and ruthless predator. She was roughly grabbed and taken indoors, forced to live in a small box, a dead mouse thrown at her for food. The gopher snake tried to scare the predator, hissing and rattling her tail, but her captor, a young boy named Gunnar, was not impressed and kept her prisoner despite her threats and pleas.

In WE CAN'T ALL BE RATTLESNAKES, Patrick Jennings tells the tale of that wild and proud gopher snake and the boy who tries to tame her.

Gunnar names the snake Crusher and places her in a glass cage alongside his other acquisitions: a small turtle, a lizard and a tarantula. The reptiles can read each other's thoughts and understand Gunnar's language, though not always his meaning, and are unable to discern the spider's thoughts. The turtle, Speedy, and the lizard, Rex, warn Crusher about Gunnar; he is cruel to and ignorant about the creatures he captures, and many have died of starvation in this room. Crusher begins to plan her escape, but the others doubt it can be done and suggest she come to terms with her incarceration.

Crusher soon convinces Gunnar that she is tame. She lets him handle her and is gentle with him, all the while looking for a way out. But Gunnar's treatment of her and the others is terrible, and his emotionally negligent parents do little to ensure their proper care. Instead they let him bring new reptiles and spiders in as others die and are tossed carelessly out the bedroom window. They allow him to spend his days playing violent video games and abusing the rich and amazing nature outside their door. Still, Gunnar is a lonely and sad kid, and Crusher begins to feel sorry for him. However, she tries not to let her pity foil her plans for escape.

Jennings's story is inventive and creative, but the issues it presents are all too real. Gunnar is a child in need of direction and encouragement, and the animals are in need of protection (of body and habitat). The secondary story, of the friendship between Crusher and a mouse named Breakfast, is more fantastic but compelling and touching as well.

WE CAN'T ALL BE RATTLESNAKES has a point (or two) to make to readers but is not preachy. Instead, Jennings hits just the right entertaining note and still gets his points across. This is a thoughful chapter book with some challenging and important ideas about family, nature and cooperation.

--- Reviewed by Sarah Rachel Egelman

This little book written by Patrick Jennings, one of several, is a perfect book for those we classify as reluctant readers; you know, those kids who have the ability to read but lack motivation. It is also a book that is filled with good lessons for both the child and the parent...if both will just read it. Jennings is quite insightful and not only knows his animals and snakes, but knows young people as well. He hits all the right buttons but does not bang you over the head with them which allows the reader to come to their own conclusions after a thoughtful period.

The plot of this work has been done to death already so I will not linger on about it too long. This is the story of a snake, as told by the snake, about her capture by a human boy, her captivity and eventual escape. The story is at times absolutely hilarious as the author uses this gopher snake and her thoughts to examine the human condition and therein tells a rather tragic and too common a tale in our society today. Now don't take me wrong here. There are parts of this work that are absolutely hilarious and it will keep the reader smiling. On the other hand there is great sadness here; sadness for the animals who have been captured and when you set and think about it, sadness for the young lad doing the capturing.

Crusher (so named by Gunner, the young lad in the story), is a gopher snake. She is captured by Gunner and placed in a cage in his home nature collection along with several other critters. This is a common pastime for young boys and I did it myself when I was of that age. But the particular lad in this story is most certainly not the sort of young man you would want responsible for your very life; so Crusher soon finds out. He is quite neglectful, self centered, slovenly and pretty clueless about life in general. As the animals under his care slowly die off due to starvation and neglect, he simply replaces them with other victims. This sounds horrible and it is horrible. Even though his treatment of the snake Crusher is deplorable, she (Yes, Crusher is actually a girl snake, a fact that the young man never did figure out) finds herself sort of sympathizing with him and feeling just a bit sorry for him. As I read this work to the kids I found myself feeling that the snake must be crazy as there was absolutely nothing about this young man that I even vaguely liked. Every single trait he displaced was an example of what I hate in a kid or adult.

Ah but wait! As you read the story you will find that Gunner, the young boy, is almost in the same situation as the snake! Yes, his parents feed him and he is given absolutely anything he wants. His entire world is made up of being raised by his T.V. and video games. Despite having a nice place to live and food to eat, he is just as starved and neglected as the animals he keeps. His mother actually does nothing but scream all time and criticizes him and his father might as well not even be in the picture for all he apparently cares for his child. It is so sad when you think about it.

Any way, Crusher develops a close relationship with a white mouth which was thrown into his cage for breakfast one day (and indeed, that is what the mouse is referred to after that..."Breakfast,") and against her nature starts to care for the mouse.

All ends well...sort of, but there is much to consider after reading this work.

Now there are a couple of things to note about this book. First, when Gunner talks to his friends there are many words such used that some parents might not want their children exposed to. Of course if you have ever been around junior high kids much you will know that words such as "shut up," and "this sucks," and of course the ever popular phrase "eat me," are pretty mild when compared to how kids talk but the watchful parent needs to be aware of this. The book is not full of these words and phrases, but they do pop-up here and there when the boy is talking to his friends. There is also animal cruelty involved here; make no mistake about that. If you have an extremely sensitive child they will not be happy with that. I know had I read this book at that age I would have been rather devastated. There is also the fact that this young man is extremely disrespectful to his parents most of the time. This will not be surprising after you note how he is being raised.

On the other hand the author has used vocabulary words that will push the envelope for a lot of children in this age group. I have to admit that as I read this to a group of kids I had to scramble to the dictionary a couple of times myself just to make sure I explained the meaning of the word to them correctly.

Overall this is an excellent work and is one of the better ones I have read targeted toward the age group in several years. I am sad to report to you that I can see a lot of Gunner the boy in many, many of our children on a daily basis. Parents need to read this work along with their child and as themselves..."Is this me?"

Don Blankenship
The Ozarks

Author Patrick Jennings has taken the idea of the misunderstood snake and turned it into a dandy and unusual short novel with possibly the greatest title ever, "We Can't All Be Rattlesnakes."

Crusher is a gopher snake who has just shed her skin when "an oily, filthy, fleshy human child" slides a mesquite stick under her belly, hoists her into the air, and carries her back to his "den." Placed in a terrarium, Crusher soon learns that a desert tortoise, an alligator lizard, and a tarantula already reside elsewhere in the room.

Crusher can communicate telepathically with the lizard and the tortoise -- her fellow reptiles. At first they ignore her - which she decries as "rude," but eventually the tortoise warms up and tells her about her captor's habits -- his fondness for his "controller," his "game console," and his "teevee," as well as his treatment of the pets he brings in from outdoors:
"...he enjoys poking tarantulas with a pencil till they roll over and bite it. Their mandibles stick in the wood which allows him to lift them up in the air. He snickers when they finally free themselves only to crash to the floor."

He isn't any nicer to the lizards.

The guise of a grown-up female snake gives author Jennings a chance to make wry comments about kids, parents, school - even the state of civilization. More importantly, the first-person (reptile?) account prompts the reader to look at the world from a new and unlikely point of view - arguably the best reason to read literature.

And as the story progresses, Crusher finds herself doing something similar. With free time beyond what she had in the wild, she becomes thoughtful and even sympathizes with her captor, who has his own problems -- like a dad more interested in NASCAR than helping him with math.

More amazing, she befriends "Breakfast," the scaredy-cat mouse she can't bring herself to eat. Ultimately, Crusher's conflict - is she a wild animal or a pet or something else altogether? - is emotionally interesting and convincing.

Told from the snake's point of view, this story will keep the reader's interest at several age levels. (It kept mine and I am an older adult.) Nice message about compassion, loyalty, and friendship woven into the story. A new way to see what our human world would look like to others with our "box houses", ability to control the weather(indoors and in the car), as we thoughtlessly toss out creatures that die when we don't care for them properly. There is even some hints as to why children act the way they do - parents not having time to spend with them and they have to find ways to entertain themselves. This book is the type of book I look for when deciding on books for my 3rd grade elementary after school book club to read. This is a big thumbs up.

This is a great book to share with kids. The author used a lot of juicy, descriptive words- it's a great vocabulary builder, but kids don't have to know that! It is engaging and difficult to put down. It would be good to read on a long car trip- the whole family (dare I say, even teenagers) will enjoy this story and the time will pass quickly. It is rated 8-12 but I think you can stretch those parameters a bit. There is a subtle message of compassion, friendship, perseverence and looking at things in a new way. Even if you don't particularly like snakes, you will enjoy this book; the snake has great personality.

This is one of those rare children's books that makes both the parent and the child laugh. It was on my 5th grader's reading list. She loved it. She recommended it to me, so I read it. I thought it was great. I then read the book to my 2nd grader and my Kindergartener. They laughed all the way through it. Buy this book. Read it to your kids. You will all have a great time!

i'm a friend of patrick jenning's and i also take his writing class, so naturally i read all of his works. i got to read this 2 months before it hit the shelves. i loved this book, patrick used his personal fear of snakes to write this masterpiece. i reccomend all of his works to everyone!