Customer Reviews

We See the Moon

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4 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

This powerful book designed for pre-teen children (adopted from China, other countries or domestically) begins with a poem about the Moon, the refrain of which is "please let the light that shines on me/shine on the one I love.

The author uses the Chinese family festival of the Moon to anchor the illustrations to her text and subtext. This is to enable and empower the adopted child in building a link between her two worlds and families, with the Moon high above becoming the spiritual as well as physical "light that shines on me and the one I love".

Many adoptive families find it hard to choose the right minute for showing their child that it is OK both to feel hurt by and yet still love their birth-family. The book achieves this both by the quality of the illustrations (showing how life IS in China at Moon time) and the easy richness of child-suited sparse but elastic text). Each one-liner of text carries with it questions - and a whole subset of questions which are ready to escape from the initial questions- that the child can ask. Parents and child can read together, read separately, it's of no matter. What matters is that the issue of love and honour of the past is brought into the safety of the adoptive family. For children the word "love" is means connection. The book allows this; and with this foundation the child can later go on to deal with ALL the other powerful emotions that come with losing birthfamily but gaining an adoptive one.

In addition to the text of the book, if that were not enough richness, EMK press presents a free Parent Guide to download from their website. This guide is written by the formidable social worker and writer/presenter of children's therapeutic activities, Jane Brown. Here, Jane underscores from her professional experience the NEED for children to be permitted connections to their past while IN their present family: fail them in this, and the child doesn't grow "whole".

I was personally overwhelmed by the wistful childishness of some of the text .... The child affirms the magic of the moon and wonders if her mother is "looking now?" I loved the positive that the child affirms her happiness in her new family and hopes her first family can sense that.

I loved the Jinshan illustrations. This painting academy specialises in naïve art, so the illustrations are both friendly-foreign, and entirely apt in their childlike perspective, a myopically child-centric view of the world. Here I use myopic, or short-sighted, in the sense that the child is ultra-focused on the aspects of living that matter.

I questioned whether the book would work for all kids, because some children, and I am adoptive mother to two such kids, don't have easy reactions to easy solutions for connections to loss. Was the book appealing to MY need for my children to be happy here, was I ignoring their need to know the harder facts of how they came to be abandoned? Was looking at the connection of love far too simplistic?

So I handed it to "the experts". The book's been tugged-of-war over, it's begged for and they are up looking for the Moon when they should be asleep. My children (aged 3 and 7) took it to their hearts... I am not sure exactly why, but I suspect that my children KNOW books are special. So ,for them, to hear things in a book that make OK hard feelings is "Double Happiness".

This is just one of those books that resounds and displays those essentials for children: symbols which elicit trust and peace in their quest for answers.

And I love it too. The moon is always there, even when it can't be seen. As are my children's connection to their first families.

Even as a child, memories of my past from long ago and thousands of miles away would catch me off guard. I might have been playing with Barbie dolls with my friends, and suddenly, I would remember, walking along in a dusty, yellow marketplace with my father, along the busy streets of Seoul. But it was mostly at nighttime, when the world was asleep, that my mind reverted to my childhood, a different childhood, a life that seemed to belong to someone else.

Whether we travel in our own quiet spaces of our mind to a place that was once our home or physically trace our paths back to where our lives began, for adoptees, the journey is one that many of us make. Such journeys are the subject of We See the Moon.

Author Carrie Kitze beautifully captures the simple, yet haunting thoughts that many adoptees may share. Her writing is fleeting and poetic, like clouds, that float across our minds with questions of one's past:

I was born
In a faraway land,
of parents
With faces in the shadows.
Where are you now?

For many adoptees, the person who gave birth to us seems like a complete stranger, so different from us in every way. But all the differences in the world are bridged by the metaphor of the moon, which as the title of the book evokes, is constant and comforting. The moon connects us to our past and present, and no matter where we are, we see the same moon.

All I need is to look
at the moon in the night sky
and think of you.

The simple text leaves wide spaces for thought on each page, and each phrase or question is echoed beautifully by the colorful and mesmerizing Jinshan Peasant Paintings. As described in the book, these paintings were first painted by older women skilled in various folk arts that had been passed down through generations in Jinshan County near Shanghai, China. The primitive looking paintings, in which tempera paint is mixed with chalk, are simple, bright and childlike, each depiction carefully telling its own story.

We See the Moon is a book to be shared, to open conversations, and to delicately unfold the questions that many adoptees secretly hold. By creating this beautiful book, Kitze has confirmed for all of us that although the journey to our past feels lonely, it can be shared with loved ones. Her carefully chosen questions and phrases may evoke memories or for others, lead to more unanswered questions.

This review first appeared in Korean Quarterly, Winter 2003/2004 www.koreanquarterly.org

This book has beautiful illustrations and is thoughtful, but I won't read it to my six-year-old adopted daughter at this point. I wouldn't read this to any adopted child without reading it first, and I wouldn't read it to a child who has not yet had several spontaneous conversations with you about his/her birth parents. I think this book oversimplifies what the adopted child's view of her birthparents will be or ought to be. I believe it to be presumptuous with respect to the child's feelings about her birth parents--I don't think it goes without saying that a little child is going to feel love for her birth mother at the age of 5 or 7 or 8, and I think it is a mistake to send the message that such feelings are the normative goal to shoot for, which I think is one of the messages of this book. These are complicated matters, and it seems unlikely to me that LOVE would be the first truly authentic feeling that an adopted child would develop about her birth parents. Unfortunately, it is much more likely that the child will first feel confusion, shame, frustration, anger. And I think it is crucial that these children be encouraged to vocalize all of these feelings without sending them the message that what they SHOULD feel for these parents is love. I just think that telling an adopted child that he/she ought to love the parent that abandoned them is more likely to create feelings of shame or frustration. And unfortunately, once the child is old enough to reconcile feelings of abandonment with feelings of love, they are likely to be too old to enjoy this simple book.

As a first time adoptive mom, I was always unsure of the best way to
initially bring up the subject of birthparents. Intellectually I KNEW that
it was very important, but when it came time to actually do it, the words
were hard to find. "We See the Moon" was a beautiful beginning for
conversations between me and my daughter. The words are gentle and
peaceful, and each question asked allowed my daughter and I to talk about
those things that too often go unsaid. The first time I read the book, I
wondered if I would be able to read the words to my daughter without crying
Instead of tears, however, a feeling of peace came over me as I listened to
my own daughter begin to ask questions about her birthmom. This book is
honest and frank, and it is a beautiful beginning to show your adopted child
that he or she can ask you anything about where they are from..

"We See the Moon" uses peasant paintings for the illustrations. They are
beautiful to examine and each one adds to the soothing tone of the book. I
highly recommend "We See the Moon" to all families touched by adoption.
Reading it aloud to your child is a great way to allow him or her to bring
up those questions that many children are afraid to ask.

Amy Eldridge
mom to six, including Anna (a. 1/2000 from China)

I try to keep up-to-date on new books published about adoption, but I had not heard about "We See the Moon." I came across it while searching for adult books on adoption for my husband, who was adopted from Greece over 40 years ago! I ordered this book, and I was more than pleasantly surprised. It is simple in its text, has beautiful folk art illustrations, and offered the opportunity for dialogue about my daughter's biological parents (she came home from China in January, 2000). The author has written a sensitive, thoughtful book about a subject that can be difficult to approach. This is a "must-have" addition for anyone with an adopted child from China!

The book arrived yesterday and last night my nearly 6 year old daughter, adopted from China at age 15 months, and I read it. In the past, I've tried to have a dialogue about how she feels about her birth family and the lack of information on them. She has always replied that she never thinks or wonders about them and is not sad that she knows nothing of them. I knew this was not true, but I did not know how to get her to verbalize her feelings.

While reading this wonderfully simple but amazing book, she told me she misses her birth mother and is sad that she does not know her.

Two-thirds of the way through the book she said "I have a great idea!" She closed the book and said "Let's go look for the moon." In pajamas we went outside to look for the moon, but it was too cloudy to see it. I felt terrible, however, the book and the idea of the moon was so powerful for her that my daughter suggested we imagine we COULD see the moon...

Tonight we will look again to see if we can see the moon. If not, we will again imagine we can see it and continue to talk. I thank Carrie for giving me a tool to open this section of my child's heart.

This important and long-needed book supports and facilitates the telling of the child's adoption story with the young child's participation. Every adoption involves loss. The most profound loss for the child is the loss of the birth mother. The book guides the adoptive parent and the child to her presence, illuminating the birth mother in images, realizing her in words, bringing her into the light of their world. An essential gift to aid the life-long journey of understanding for both parent and child.

Becky M.
Mom to two daughters from China

This is a lovely book for young adopted children who have little information about their birth family. Although the illustrations are all reproductions of Chinese peasant paintings (widely available elsewhere in the form of cards and calendars), the text is adaptable for any young child adopted from overseas. In recognizing the adopted child's natural curiosity about his or her birth mother, the book gently validates the adopted child's losses as well as celebrating the love and comfort of the child's adoptive family. Nonthreatening, positive, and warm, this book is a good addition to home and school libraries. The parents' guide, by Jane Brown, deserves five stars.

Carrie Kitze's book, "We See the Moon," is both unusual and astounding. I am using it successfully for children in therapy.

Rather than carrying a typical narrative line, the author chooses a fresh approach. She pairs vivid, child-friendly Chinese paintings with child or birthparent voices. Children encounter these jeweled-colored images as they turn pages. They impose their meanings onto the evocative words. It is a springboard for discussion as children incorporate some of the material into their stories. The scenes are magical ones that invite identification with their Chinese heritage.

Children are particularly drawn to it. My thanks to the author for providing this resource for children and their families. It makes a lovely gift book for families. It is a must-have for professionals.

This is another lovely book to read to adopted children, and not just to those from China. As with Rose Lewis' I love you Like Crazy Cakes, Carrie A. Kitze writes tenderly and lovingly of the process of adoption and the sadness for the far-away birthmother. The illustrations are captivating to both children and adults.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?