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We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive
 
 
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We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive [Paperback]

Laurie Notaro (Author)
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (90 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 19, 2005
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking.

Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.

Frequently Bought Together

We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive + I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies): True Tales of a Loudmouth Girl + The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
Price For All Three: $31.76

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"(Notaro) expands her worldview to include the full panoply of life's indignities. The result is screamingly funny." -- USA TODAY June 1, 2005
By Deirdre Donahue, USA TODAY


"Hilarious...(Notaro) is Dave Barry with ovaries, filing bizare and frequently humiliating reports on Life on the Goofy Side." -- The Miami Herald
by Connie Ogle

About the Author

Laurie Notaro is the New York Times bestselling author of several humorous memoirs, including The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody, We Thought You Would Be Prettier, and An Idiot Girl's Christmas, as well as the novels There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell and Spooky Little Girl. Born in Brooklyn, New York, Laurie was raised in Phoenix, Arizona, and currently lives in Eugene, Oregon. Hillary Huber records audiobooks on a regular basis, garnering consistently glowing reviews and earning her several Audie Award nominations, including for A Field of Darkness by Cornelia Read, Sunrise Alley by Catherine Asaro, and What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage by Amy Sutherland. She also earned an AudioFile Earphones Award for her narration of This Book Is Overdue! AudioFile magazine says, "Hillary Huber's narration is lyrical enough to be set to music." Hillary lives in Los Angeles.
--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (April 19, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0812969014
  • ISBN-13: 978-0812969016
  • Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.5 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (90 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,652 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Laurie Notaro was born in Brooklyn, New York, then spent the remainder of her formative years in Phoenix, AZ, where she created something of a checkered past. She is the New York Times Best-selling author of the humor memoirs The Idiot Girls Action Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody and Other Atrocious Lies, We Thought You Would Be Prettier, Idiot Girls' Christmas, There's a Slight Chance I Might Be Going to Hell, The Idiot Girls and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, and Spooky Little Girl, which will be available April 13, 2001. She is a terrible typist, doesn't suffer Big Ikes very well, and lives under an assumed name in Eugene, Oregon where her neighbors believe she is writing about them, but she is not. She has a cute dog, a nice husband and misses Mexican food like a limb lost to diabetes.

 

Customer Reviews

90 Reviews
5 star:
 (49)
4 star:
 (19)
3 star:
 (8)
2 star:
 (8)
1 star:
 (6)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.1 out of 5 stars (90 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

48 of 50 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars "A Free Sample of Kickbutt Pie", May 27, 2005
This review is from: We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive (Paperback)
I had mixed feelings about the first book I read by Laurie Notaro, Autobiography of a Fat Bride. I thought she relied too much on making herself to be the fat, ugly, stupid girl to get laughs, and that it was almost a throwback to the Phyllis Diller-type comediennes of the Sixties. But it was funny enough that I wanted to read more.

In We Thought You Would Be Prettier, Notaro still is the often the butt of her own jokes, but somehow now she seems more Roseanne than Phyllis Diller. Even her bio at the end of the book is good for a laugh. My favorites were the story of the flippy-haired guy at the supermarket and her description of her day at driving school.

I was also pleased to find her website (LaurieNotaro dot com) where there was a very funny piece about her misadventures with the supermarket self-check-out machine. There you can also read the story of how her first book was rejected seventy times before she finally self-published and then she was almost immediately contacted by an agent who sold that book and her unpublished second book. I love that story. And she has a new book coming out in November!
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41 of 42 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Funnier Than Ever, May 31, 2005
This review is from: We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive (Paperback)
The wonderful thing about Laurie Notaro is that she taps into the 30 something year old strapped into a totally inappropriate but oh so much fun pink prom dress. She's bitter, she's funny, she's not perfect and willing to share just how much NOT perfect she is with the rest of us losers so we don't feel quite so bad. I really like her writing. It's frothy, somewhat shallow, and sometimes so mean (and usually about herself!) that I cringe, but that is what makes it so good.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars laugh out loud funny, June 30, 2005
This review is from: We Thought You Would Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive (Paperback)
Picked this book up browsing at Costco. It looked interesting, but once I started reading I couldn't stop. At one point my husband (who was up at 2:30 am to go to work) came in the bedroom thinking the dog was having convulsions. It was just me trying hard not to pee my pants as I was reading.

Some of the essays in the book were a little over done for me. Almost like she was trying too hard to be funny. But there were several that just hit a nerve - that I could relate to - that had me laughing so hard I was crying & couldn't see the page. I loved reading a book like that - it felt good to lose myself in the humor. And I'd recommend it - in fact, my sister in law has it now.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Are you stupid?" the man behind the counter at the garage yelled at me. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Flippy Hair Guy, Gray Lady, Laurie Notaro, New York, Long Wong, Pop Pop, Cat Lady, Pissed-Off Guy, Grandpa Munster, Campaign of Terror, San Francisco, Cox Cable, Paris Hilton, Mill Avenue, Bake Oven, Chub Rub, Los Angeles, Real Sex
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