Customer Reviews

We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I have spent many years reading books, talking to counselors, and talking to friends about relationships. Reading Johnson's book was a real eye opener, to put it very mildly. I have enjoyed the author's style in his other books where he presents a myth and discusses it's psychological meaning. This book is no exception, except that it's relevance is way off the charts. Before reading "We" I had all but thrown my hands in the air in frustration regarding relationships. The author's beautiful style drills deep and answers the many questions I had. Johnson's use of the Tristan myth told me what I did not want to hear, but the pain I have experience in relationship told me that Johnson was right on the money. The author's analysis of romantic love and the distinction he makes between passion and true love (which is more low key and may even come across as boring sometimes) spoke loud and clear. He made me realize that I have been searching out there in vain for so many years for lady soul, because lady soul lurked within my unconscious mind. Since reading this book I was able to connect with lady soul and have that symbolic marriage that Johnson talks about.

I highly recommend this book to each person who has a lot of questions about why relationships in our cultures are in a state of epidepic crisis. The author's answers may not be what you want to hear if you are a "zealous" romantic. If you are willing to stretch yourself and change, then Johnson's words are an excellent catalyst for changing your ways and heading in the right direction.

I consider "We" among the most relevant books by Robert Johnson, and among the most relevantt books by any author!

Having succumbed too many times to the call of romantic love (and later paid the price for believing it was authentic love)I found this book to be very helpful in understanding what was happening to me (or should I say what I was doing to myself.) The beauty of Johnson's view is that all the rich and wonderful emotions which arise during romance come from within us, not form the 'loved one.' This realization provides a sense of freedom and diviness which can be honored and brought forwards, in bits and pieces, into all of our relationships. I like the last line from the first review following: "The message here is that human love is attained when one accepts responsibility for his/! her own happiness or unhappiness and refrains from living out happiness through another human being." Well said!

Robert A. Johnson sets up a wonderful analysis of the Arthurian romance of Iseult and Tristan. Each chapter tells a bit of the story, then the author goes into a dialogue on the implications of the story. Also citing other more obscure examples to demonstrate what 'true' love is and what is the 'heat of the moment' love. Scraping the surface of some issues on social commentary in which some of the problems of marriage and relationships in general derive from out not-understanding of what love is. Robert Johnson's best work to date, as well as one his most lengthy titles (by comparison).

I found this volume almost impossible to put down once I started reading it.
Author Robert A. Johnson has a very fluid writing style, and does a superb job
of exposing the archetypal aspect of romance and love relationships by discussing the implications of
the myth of Tristan and Iseult. I found myself strongly moved
by this volume, and it helped me work through some live and
at the time previously unexplored aspects of my own psyche.

This book doesn't leave you feeling torn apart as many analytical
works on love do. It analyzes the emotions and expectations of
lovers in such a way as to allow one to re-examine one's own
love relationships and ultimately one's understanding of what
a love relationship should be. This is a timeless volume, which
transcends the stereotypical types of responses one has to love and love relationships. Western media and folklore have so thoroughly dwelt on this topic that I find it remarkable that this Jungian philosopher is able to significantly add to the tradition, by allowing one to consciously break down the archetypal influences that seem to so powerfully motivate us when we are in love. I found this book illuminating enough that after finishing it I had to purchase a copy for a close friend.

Be aware that this type of progress doesn't happen in a vacuum, so this book may be somewhat troubling if you are a person who has
long cherished views that you do not want to question about love and romance. But if you are willing to subscribe to the author's thesis that love and love relationships can be improved by understanding their core motivations as reflected in myth and allegory, you will absolutely love this book as I did and possibly this book will change the way you look at love and life. Definitely a must-read if you are someone like me who is always falling in love and not knowing why.

Our media and culture tell us that romantic love "makes you whole, gives your life meaning, is like a torch in the dark, is something that gives you strength and courage ..." Johnson does a good job at pointing out that this is the symbolic equivalent of a religious experience. But what Johnson does isn't to demolish the wonder of romance, but instead gives us strength by showing that the "angel" you fall in love with comes from inside you.

I also found this book more approachable than Johnson's "He" or "She" because his writing here is clearer and less concealed in Jungian terms than "He" or "She".

It gives a great perspective as to how we humans experience love. It also gives a good explanation of what is the difference between romatic love and, true and mature love. It talks about expectations, desires, passion, commitment, fears, etc. It helped me to understand why my love parners acted the way they did in our relationships, as well as why I kept fighting for those unfruitful relationships. ¡Trully interesting!

I always recommend this book to my clients (I am an astrologer and VisionCoach) when they are struggling with a difficult love life. This short, pithy and to the point book, will tell you more about the real nature of love than you could possibly imagine. Johnson has a genius for putting things simply. But don't be fooled. There is more genuine wisdom and insight in this one book than you may find the entire rest of this year, browsing through the psychology and self help sections of the bookstore, library or searching on amazon!

If you have any serious interest in relationships and what makes them tick (and who hasn't), and you read only one book then make it this one.

A work of near genius, a deep and perceptive enquiry into the development of modern courtship and romance and how the myths of the past now come to dominate our love lives, frequently for the worst.

The myth of Tristan and Iseult is a beautiful myth in itself and is retold in the book. Each section of the myth is followed by a series of carefully constructed arguments, applying a Jungian symbolic analysis to the contents of the text. Worth reading as a commentary on the myth itself but invaluable if you wish to follow the Dephic adage "know thyself" in the context of your own love life.

I'd give this one 10 out of 10.

Oh man oh man... Boy is this a good book for anyone interested in knowing themselves a little better. It gives great insight into how our western cultural programming is running our lives and what we can do about it. For instance, I had no idea that the idea of "romantic love" was originally a form of worshipping God. And that this romantic love idea doesn't exist in other cultures. Like in India, relationships are not based on falling in love but on committing to raising a family with somebody. Now this doesn't mean that eastern cultures have perfect marriages and that we should emulate them, blah, blah, blah... But just that it's different and interesting to think about.
One thing I didn't like in the beginning section of this book is that he does a lot of male ego bashing and female worshipping. This is the current trendy thing in the New Age/self-help/pop psychology arena. Everybody's bashing the male ego. Well, leave my male ego alone. I'll take care of it myself, thank you. And as far as female worship goes, that is just the pendulum swinging in the other direction. We've been doing all this patriarchy/father worship for thousands of years and now we're supposed to flip-flop over to matriarchy/mother worship. Big deal. I don't see how it's going to be any different. As you can see, I disagree with a few points in the book but what I really liked was the way he spoke about friendship in the second half of the book. It really hit home with me. Here's a quote:
"In romantic love there is no friendship. Romance and friendship are utterly opposed energies, natural enemies with completely opposing motives... Friendship takes the artificial drama and intensity out of a relationship, but it also takes away the egocentricity and the impossibility and replaces the drama with something human and real."
Awesome. Now the danger here is to run around romanticizing friendship... "oh this is my holy friend, etc., etc." but whatever. I guess you can romanticize anything if you set your mind to it. So, all in all, it's a very enjoyable book and Robert Johnson has a lot of interesting things to say. I look forward to reading some of his other books - and I expect to disagree with those also.

If you are a man, and you are deeply suffering because either you are in love, or because you feel you are loosing one, this book is worth a hundred psycho-therapy sessions. It is very likely that it will help you to understand yourself, and therefore you would become much more likely to take control, or at least, to feel wide relief associated to deep understanding!