Customer Reviews

Weaving a Family: Untangling Race and Adoption

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As a recent adoptive (white) parent of an African-American infant girl, I found Barbara Katz Rothman's book, Weaving a Family, to be a godsend. In down-to-earth prose, but with the incisive thinking of the sociologist that she is, Katz Rothman takes a bold look at the complexities underlying her own transracial adoption (of her now-15-year-old daughter, Victoria, whom she adopted as an infant) and the phenomenon of transracial adoption in America today. While feeling no less her daughter's mother, she fearlessly explores and exposes the cultural ironies of transracial adoption, and the privilege and responsibility that imposes on those who enter such relationships.

This should be required reading for prospective parents considering transracial adoption. On one level, it's an easy read; the writing is magnificent. On another--the emotional level--it can be tough going, but absolutely necessary if the children of transracial adoptions are going to be well served by the arrangement, and by their families. Top rate...

I must say that I was really excited to read this book, which appeared to closely parallel my struggles. What I got, instead, was a sociologists' opinion about why adoption is a bandaid for a massive wound.

Her opinions leak onto every page, leading one to beleive that they're absolute truth. I was bummed. I hoped for so much more from an intellectual stand point, but all that I got was ... a lot of wishwash with very few answers.

And so, my two stars is because I was hoping that she would act human a little more than scientist. That she would reveal her mom side a little more than her career side. (I understand that both sides make up the writer, but very little was personal about this book.)

If you're hoping to have someone who reveals what life REALLY is in a cross cultural family, go somewhere else because this book has very little to do with day to day life within my family.

"So where do babies fit in? On the one hand, mothers produce babies. On the other hand, mothers "consume" babies: we use babies as objects to produce ourselves as mothers. The baby is like an accessory, the very important object we have to add to our homes to complete ourselves and our families." -pg 37

Ugh...

How about I just want to aide our world by loving just one more child?

To be honest, I'm not sure who this is for. I am roughly half-way through the book and I need to put it down.

Perhaps I missed the point of this book. My wife and I are considering transracial adoption and have no preference as to the child's race. However, on further review we want to make sure that we can provide a home that an African-America child can grow up, thrive and succeed in.

I was hoping that this book would answer some of these questions, maybe even offer suggestions. Don't get me wrong, they might be in there, I guess I'll never know. To get to anything of use, be prepared to slog through anecdotes and observations from every single one of her interests/hobbies. You'll get some genetics and economics, followed by blurbs describing African American people from the 18th century and their relationships to their benefactors (I have no idea why these were included because at the end of a disjointed narrative she just posts a question like "Hmmm, I wonder how the benefactor felt about that person"). The problem is, that most of these tangents are at best mildly interesting and not at all instructive.

So long story short, if you are looking for a rambling exploration of all of the various factors that may or may not have shaped transracial adoption through the centuries, this might be for you.

If you are like myself and want a book that gets right to the point of what are the major issues that you will encounter in transracial adoption and some strategies to deal with those issues, keep looking. This book is not for you. Or maybe all of that info is crammed into the last half of the book :/

Rothman skillfully weaves the knowledge of an academic with the passion of an adoptive parent in this marvellous book. This book is wise, personal, well researched, and often hilarious. Unlike many stories of adoptive parents, its never sappy. It sheds new light on the complicated questions of race and adoption; how white parents and black children fare with each other. Any one interested in adoption and contemporary race politics should read this.

You don't have to be either a sociologist or parent to find Weaving a Family a compelling read. Clear-eyed and unafraid, grounded in racial reality, Barbara Katz Rothman takes on some of the biggest issues in our society. Whole chapters are devoted to such topics as race labels and what they mean, motherhood and how it has changed in the last two generations, race matching in the adoption process, and the issues facing white women raising black children.

The centerpiece chapter, and the one that dictates the overarching metaphor of the book, is "Hair: Braiding Together Culture, Identity, and Entitlement." In this serious, sometimes humorous, and totally human chapter, Rothman recollects her acculturation into the African American community through her efforts to learn to care for her daughter's tight, curly hair. More than anything, learning to braid her daughter's hair helped Rothman gain respect among members of a "new" peer group, (mostly black) women mothering black children.

Given all its candor and insights, Weaving a Family is still most remarkable for Rothman's guiding voice. It is down-home, wise, and sometimes lyrical, as when she writes: "Victoria and I, a child and her mother, are at the bottom of a long strange funnel. There is the Eastern European anti-Semitism that brought my great grandparents to New York, where the confrontation with American racism bleached out their Semitic race and made my family white. Victoria got to where she is via the slave trade to the American South, and the Great Migration to the Northeast. . . . Ours is one story. But there are lots of families like mine."

This book is well worth a read, but I had hoped for something different/ something more. As a foster parent (hopefully adoptive parent) of a black child, I was looking for practical advice through a sociology perspective. Instead, I got a slice of history about interracial adoption and some sociological commentary.

There was, however, a bit of advice. It was implied and not explicit. But it really wasn't all that helpful. For example, it could be boiled down to these simple things:
a) make friends with black people and get your kid involved in the black community
b) learn how to do hair or find someone who does
c) racism exists so prepare your child for it

Again, the book is worth a read because of the sociological perspective, but it probably won't make you much of a better parent.