Customer Reviews

From Wedded Wife to Lesbian Life: Stories of Transformation

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I read this book just when I was leaving my marriage. I expected to find a collection of stories by women who (unlike me) discovered their orientation later in life. I was delighted to find that the collection was much more diverse. Women of all ages are represented in this collection, and some, like me, knew they were lesbian before they married. Reading their stories was comforting during a time a great turmoil.

I later had the privilege of attending a support group led by one of the authors (Deborah Abbott), and this further enriched the experience. It reminded me, though, of how few resources are available for women making this transition. I hope women who don't have such groups available can find some support in this gem of a book.

This is a book I have been telling people about for the last couple months. As a writer of lesbian novels myself, I have been constantly surprised to discover how many women seem to be living double lives: wife and mother by day--secret, internet-accessing, coming-out lesbian by night. When women email me to confide and ask advice (which I feel inadequate at giving!), I refer them to this book knowing that the stories of the women in FROM WEDDED WIFE TO LESBIAN LIFE will give them hope and ideas.

Great editing work by Deb Abbott and Ellen Farmer, and kudos to Crossing Press for publishing this fine book.

In addition to this book, I would also recommend: LESBIAN EPIPHANIES: WOMEN COMING OUT IN LATER LIFE by Karol Jensen. For other more general true-life stories of women coming out, read anything edited by the wonderfully talented Lindsey Elder.

I was leaving my husband and starting a relationship with a woman when I met Deb Abbott online about 5 years ago. She told me about her book and I ran out to buy it. I saw myself in so many of the stories, and found that I wasn't the only one going through my situation. That relationship ended badly after 4 years, and I am now with a woman that is in the same position I was. I am re-reading Deb's book, and my girlfriend is also reading it. It is a bible to us. I can't thank Deb enough for writing this amazing book.

This book is a marvelously well selected collection of brief personal accounts of women who have loved both men and women, and who explain why they have felt more comfortable loving women.

I have read several similar compilations and this is my favorite because it is executed the best. The variety is exceptional and the brevity is much appreciated. Too often, similar books contain long contributions that need more editing. If you peruse the copyright page, you'll discover part of the reason why this compilation is so well produced: many of the contributions are a "Who's who" of previously published materials. The editors selected the best of existing materials and supplemented them with quality additions.

My largest objections to the book are two-fold: The old adage is: You can't judge a book by it's cover. That could not be more true in this case. The cover design is not good, and when I saw it I thought, "A man designed that cover." And sure enough, if you check the copyright, it turns out a man did design the cover. However, a woman did the book design, so my instincts may not be correct. Visually, the cover implies that women who become lesbians tear apart their matrimonal and traditonal world to enter into the world of Lesbianism. That is not really what the book is about.

My second objection to the book is the title. And I can't blame this on third parties, because the editiors had to have intended it. Yes, the one thing all the contributors have in common is that they were married in the past, and now they identify themselves as lesbians; but that is not the interesting part of the book. The book is more about "why" they chose this path and why all these diverse women from different cultures have this commonality. The individual paths and tough roads taken are what make the book fascinating. Like heterosexual break ups, some of the divorces are very amicable and the former spouses remain friends. Others are terribly cruel and ostracizing. I prefer the book's subtitle: "Stories of Transformation" because that is more what the book is about.

If anyone thinks this is a collection of stories where "Everyone lives happily lesbian ever after", they should read Christine Berrier, Deborah Abbott, & Pauline Bart's contributions.

Each of the contributions are well written, which may not sound like much of a compliment, but I intend it to be. There is no universal theme or message in the contributions. They are diverse and sometimes contradictory, but each person expresses herself well & concisely, and that is rare in books of this type. So please don't pass on this book because of the cover or the title, consider reading it for the thoughtful human stories.

I would have liked to see more examples of older women's changes from wives of long-standing to either returning to a lesbian lifestyle or taking up that lifestyle for the first time.

I enjoyed the book immensely and would recommend it to any woman who is going through gender orientation struggles and issues. This book offered a wide variety of voices from women of various backgrounds in different situations. This book included stories describing the joys and sorrows of what it is like to be seen as a married heterosexual woman and then what it is like to embrace life as a lesbian. I was impressed by the quality of writing and the women who wrote their stories. It is inspirational, touching and informative. It helped me to understand that my human needs and desires are normal. Other women might benefit from knowing this as well - whether they are hetero or not. To me, this demonstrates how many women crave a deep love connection with another individual and shows the challenges that they face as they search to find this emotional and sexual satisfaction with men.

This is a book for all women who feel that they are "stuck" in an unhappy marriage. The ladies in this book showed a lot of courage to put in to words what they felt from the very beginning of that first day of meeting a man to the first day with a women. This ladies tells us their heartfelt stories of unhappy marriages who some had children and some did not, some had families who was on their side and then there were other families that did not support them at all. This book could and would have been a bigger help to me 30 years ago and still is a help now. If your unhappy in a marriage with a man then read this book, it could help you to know that you can do things like these ladies did with your life with out a man there to make you unhappy and "keep you under their thumb".Some of these ladies went on to get thier degrees, and some went to work to support themselves with a job that they felt good with.If you do any thing get this book and get a "life"!