Customer Reviews

The Weight of It: A Story of Two Sisters

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
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1 star:		(3)

 

 

Early in THE WEIGHT OF IT, Amy Wilensky walks by her sister and fails to recognize her. That's because Alison has lost nearly 200 pounds. When Amy and Alison were children, they were sometimes mistaken for twins, but Alison began to gain weight while Amy stayed small. Alison became morbidly obese in her teen years and underwent gastric surgery in her twenties.

As Amy remembers the transformations her sibling has undergone, she asserts that "the more things change, the more they stay the same." In so many ways, vibrant Alison has always been just her younger sister to Amy, no matter what her size. Indeed, her exuberant sister's weight is one of the last ways Amy would describe her. However, the world --- and Alison herself --- placed much more emphasis on Alison's obesity or thinness. These reactions unavoidably flavored the sisters' relationship.

The story about the two sisters is part of a more encompassing view as the author puts her sister's situation in perspective by describing obesity in our society. She notes dispassionately that around sixty million Americans are considered morbidly obese. They are discriminated against in the workplace. These people are often ignored, teased, put-down, joked about and belittled --- treatment likely to affect their mental well-being. Why, Amy wonders, are people so afraid of and cruel to heavy people?

The physical struggles of being overweight are often obvious: airplane and movie seats may be too small, it's hard to find nice clothes, and most sports and other activities might be impossible. Other physical problems are more hidden, such as aches from standing or walking, breathing difficulties, and stress on the heart. Noting that "low body weight is one of the most reliable indicators of longevity," Wilensky graphically describes the health dangers obese people face. While the author details the suffering of the obese, she adds that she does not pity them; she simply feels that thinner people have an easier life.

Amy meditates not only on the ways in which drastic weight gain and loss affect identity, but also possible social benefits to obesity (Alison says she would have had to be friends with people she didn't like in high school if she hadn't been heavy). The author unflinchingly describes compulsive overeating and cites scientific reasons behind it.

While the universal implications of obesity are thought provoking, the author always draws us back to Alison, personalizing the weight issue. She courageously describes her own childhood jealousy over Alison's new clothes (a frequent necessity as she grew larger) and other admitted pettiness. It's evident that Alison sometimes irritates Amy. However, Amy also proudly celebrates Alison's colorful personality, artistic nature, pleasure in her new body, popularity and more. Deep down at the heart, her book portrays the best and the worst of love between sisters who share a unique perspective and profound differences.

The author chose to write the story because of weight. However, the "weight" Wilensky speaks of isn't always evaluated on scales; she suggests that what is unsaid weighs heavily. Her story is not always pretty or nice or even kind, but it's rock-hard truthful. Beautifully written and engrossing, you're likely to remember this story long after you finish the book.

--- Reviewed by Terry Miller Shannon

As a memoir, I got that Amy was writing about HER experience, and her own identity in relation to her sister. But somehow, I still needed to see more about her sister, Alison. I read the book jacket again after I finished the book, and ultimately I think it missed the mark: the jacket writes about the stranger that Alison became post-op, but its hardly what was covered in the book. Indeed, we learn very little about Alison at all, and Amy appears guarded in discussing the relationship, almost clinical in her description of their relationship. There are some strong moments, but very little tenderness, and a lot of the drama falls flat.

Amy's sister Alison certainly sounds like a person that would be fascinating to know...immensely creative, complicated and colorful. I enjoyed reading about her very much. However, the subject of her weight gain and loss is not nearly enough to carry this book. It might have been, if she herself had written the book, but reading about someone's else's weight issues from a sister's perspective is not, frankly, that interesting. I'm not saying that Amy Wilensky is not a skilled writer, for she certainly is, and I loved a lot of the little details included here, but I think she would have done better to write a general family memoir or a portrait of her sister overall.

I also found upon finishing the book that I didn't really completely get her perspective and feelings about her sister pinned down. The book starts with a scene on an airplane where her sister Alison is portroyed quite negatively, and scattered throughout the book are other scenes like this. Sometimes they seem to be out of the narrative flow and I am not sure why they are included in the way they are...they seem a little mean-spirited alongside the more balanced parts of her characterization of Alison. I think perhaps Amy's feelings are still a bit in flux about her sister, and this book may have been better written with the perspective of a few more years.

I would not discourage buying or reading this book, and in fact I am quite eager to read Amy's other book, Passing for Normal, but I would not buy it if you are mainly interesting in reading about weight issues or weight loss surgery.

As a person considering weight loss surgery, I've been interested in learning more about how the surgery has affected people's relationships. After hearing lots of good things about this book, I eagerly sat down to read it. I cannot express how disappointed I was.

I grew tired of reading of the author's jealousy of her sister. (she was jealous that her sister got new clothes because she kept outgrowing them? Get REAL!) This jealousy started out as toddlers and was evident even after her sister had the WLS (jealous of all the friends at a birthday bash, jealous of her great apartment, etc etc).

I also grew frustrated with the contradictions that kept popping up. In one chapter, it is said that the girl's had a stash of candy in a drawer, while later she said there was never candy in the house?!

It seemed to me that the author and her sister never had a close relationship growing up. She insists she didn't know how truly unhappy her sister was being an overweight teen. I guess the fact that her sister drew away from society, locked herself in her room, didn't care to go out weren't enough clues.

If only I could get those 4 hours of my life back that I wasted reading this book...

Wilensky writes "It's not fair to criticize what you don't understand" (p. 86), and yet she still wrote this book.

I found this story off-putting on a number of levels. The author's affinity for a few snazzy smart sounding words that fall disjointedly in the text mars the story itself: apocalypse (x2), insouciance, eschew/ing/s/ed (x5), "the entire oeuvre of Marguerite Dumas", and "on an even numbered day" (x2). With so many words available I found the repetition baffling. To be clear, I am neither an author or associated with publishing houses, but between word choices and the editing itself, it left a great deal to be desired.

I found the continual references to all-things-prestiege off-putting as well. It was wearying to read the continual references to Martha's Vineyard, Brown, RISD, Vassar, Nantucket, Armani, prep schools, etc. and I couldn't quite make the connection between Wilensky's upper crust background and the specifics of her sister's story except that both existed in the author's life. And what a Rhode Island restaurant recommendation has to do with her sister's morbid obesity is still a mystery.

I really really wanted to like this book but, I'm sorry to say, I really really didn't. To me it read as an insensitively pretentious, tediously self-involved 'here's how my fat sister affected me' diatribe, with a few statistics thrown in to give it an authoritative voice.

I absolutely believe that Wilensky adores Alison and Alison, her, but if I was Alison I would be mortified that this made it to press.

This was a book I couldn't put down. I truly enjoyed it. But to me, there was ONE major flaw: no pictures!

In a book that details a woman's weight loss struggle, pictures are an absolute requirement, at least in my mind. Even the author herself states that Before and After pictures are her favorite part of any magazine. So why didn't we get any in this book? Heck, I would even take an 'After' with no 'Before.'

Why is this so gosh-darn important to me? Because like most people, I want to see who I am reading about. Since I am taking the time to read an entire book about a person, I think I should be given at least one glimpse of this person...and no, the childhood photo on the front cover of the book doesn't count. Like most people, when a woman has made herself over from an obese, all-black-clothes-wearing wallflower into a stunning wearer of Betsey Johnson dresses, I want to see that dazzling transformation. And, like most people....I am just nosey.

Good book otherwise.

This book isn't really about anything. It is mostly little details about various events in the lives of the two sisters, with no actual point or meaning. There is in fact very little about weight loss, weight loss surgery, or the changes that took place in the girl's life after she had the surgery. Most of the book is dedicated to endless details about parties that the sisters held and shopping trips they took. There is also a one-and-a-half page quote from Alice in Wonderland. There are far too many trivial details and far too little actual interesting content regarding what Allison went through.
What's more, this book isn't even in the first person. It's by the SISTER of someone who had weight loss surgery, so really has no idea what the experience is like. When I saw the book I bought it, curious as to how a story of human tragedy and triumph can be interesting when told from the point of view of someone who wasn't even there. Now I know: it can't.

After having read Passing for Normal, Wilensky's first book, I was delighted to see she had another on the shelves! She is a terrific writer with a knack for getting at the heart of family (in this case sibling) relationships. This book takes the reader through the twists and turns of sibling rivalry, jealousy and love in a very thoughtful and refreshing way.

I highly recommend this book. I loved Wilensky's last book, Passing for Normal and was happy to see she had published another. The Weight of It is smart and funny and gives a very poignant depiction of sisterhood. The descriptions of Wilensky's sister's struggle with her weight are perceptive and make the reader examine her or his own biases. But even more insightful are Wilensky's discussions of her relationship with her sister and the nature of sibiling relationships. She has a wonderful writing style that is witty and engaging. I'm looking forward to the author's next book.

I picked up this book after my friend Stacey decided to have gastric-bypass surgery. I wanted to learn more about the surgery, but more than that, I wanted to learn about how the surgery afftected someone who'd had it. "The Weight of It" is a moving and real story about how two sisters have dealt with issues of weight all their lives, and how this surgery changed them both (one physically, and one emotionally). What I liked the most was the way the book made me question my own perceptions of other people; I still find myself thinking about the scene in the Chinese restaurant when the sister in the book left because she was so upset by the waitress's actions. If you've ever known someone overweight, you'll get a lot out of this book.