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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Bring You to Your Sha-na-na-na-na-na Knees,
By
This review is from: Welcome To the Jungle (DVD)
Based on the jacket of this DVD, I set my expectations for "a bloody gore fest." Trust me, Welcome to the Jungle qualifies more as a bore fest than a gore fest.
I didn't say it was a bore fest exactly. But the Welcome to the Jungle cast doesn't even run into their first native tribe member until about an hour into the film, and the film is only about an hour and 20 minutes long. Back in 1961 Michael Clark Rockefeller (heir to the Rockefeller fortune) disappeared after a boating accident during an expedition in the Asmat region of New Guinea. It was speculated that Rockefeller drowned, but sensationalized by the theory that he was abducted, living among or perhaps even eaten by cannibals. Welcome to the Jungle is about two young couples that get the bright idea to take their inexperience and hike into the Asmat jungles to see if they can find any proof of Rockefeller's true fate. Going back to the jacket of the DVD, it tells you that trouble starts when the couples run into "a fierce tribe of cannibals deep in the jungle." This gives you the impression that our couples are indiscriminately attacked while on their innocent trek. But everyone knows that today's Asmat Tribesman would only attack if provoked, right?...Like, say, because some knuckle-head desecrated an Asmat gravesite. Some of the cast do indeed get brutalized. But a gore fest? No. Friday the 13th has *a lot* more slicing and dicing than you ever see in Welcome to the Jungle. In fact, you never actually see any of the real brutality while it's occurring in Welcome to the Jungle; you do see some of the carnage...but certainly not in the large doses that all of the hype seems to suggest. Welcome to the Jungle has that handheld camera, Blair Witch Project feel throughout. Writer/Director Jonathan Hensleigh (also directed 2004's The Punisher and co-wrote a bunch of very popular flicks) goes for storytelling here...not shock. Yes, when things finally get ugly in this movie...it ain't pretty. It's R-rated stuff, but probably tamer than you're thinking it is. So all in all...it's an okay movie. I'm no gore-monger, so the lack of it was just fine with me. With the underlying sense that something horrible is going to happen, Hensleigh does a masterful job of quenching the boredom of what amounts to more of a jungle expedition documentary than an all out Horror film. Well gotta go. Lunch is served. Beef carpaccio...mmmmmmmmmm.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Quite possibly the worst...,
By
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Welcome To the Jungle (DVD)
The DVD cover contains a quote: "Quite possibly the most terrifying film of the last decade." Say what? Here's my quote: "Quite possibly the worst film of the last century." What a total waste of time...and money. I bought the DVD for a penny...but had to pay $2.99 for shipping. It was still a rip-off...one of the worst (worthless) films ever. And how can producer Gale Ann Hurd allow them to put her name on the cover with her credits for such classic films as "The Terminator" and "Aliens"? Sounds to me like Gale is desperate...but I'm not. I'll never buy another film produced by her...ever. What an embarrassment to the film industry. Shame on you...and "shame on YOU (the viewer)" if you buy/watch this abomination.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing,
By N. Durham "Big Evil" (Philadelphia, PA) - See all my reviews (VINE VOICE) (TOP 500 REVIEWER) (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER) (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Welcome To the Jungle (DVD)
As you've no doubt read from previous reviews, the DVD packaging and description of Welcome to the Jungle would make you think that this is a 21st century Cannibal Holocaust. Well, as you've no doubt figured out by now, it ain't. Welcome to the Jungle is instead an ill-fated semi-character study that follows a group of people (Sandy Gardiner, Callard Harris, Nick Richey, and Veronica Sywak) as they head into the New Guinea jungles in search of the heir to the Rockefeller fortune, who has been missing since 1961. We get to know this crew, for quite a while, before there is any action with cannibal tribesmen. All the build-up would be acceptable with we actually came to like the characters here and there were ample amounts of blood and gore (which are usually synonymous with cannibal flicks), but alas, the characters are annoying (and the acting is pretty bad to boot), and there is barely any blood to be found. Written and directed by Jonathan Hensleigh (the writer/director of 2004's The Punisher), Welcome to the Jungle is dreadfully underwhelming to say the least. While Hensleigh's filming technique offers a bit in the realm of suspense, it doesn't last long. Not to mention that at a brisk 80 plus minute running time, the film just feels poorly conceived. All in all, Welcome to the Jungle is an example of not judging a book by its cover. The film isn't scary, and old fans of the cannibal genre will be extremely disappointed with the end result here. That aside, the film may be worth a look at the very least for horror fans, but there isn't enough here to really recommend it.
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