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What Are You Doing in There: Balancing Your Need to Know with Your Adolescent's Need to Grow Paperback – September 9, 2003

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Giannetti, a journalist, and Sagarese, a former teacher, explain how to strike a balance between giving adolescents privacy and knowing what's going on in their lives in this smart guide to parenting. Identifying "privacy zones" (bedroom, friends, romance, school and the Internet), they offer advice on many specific aspects of raising teenagers. The authors, who have written four previous parenting books together, are thorough in their coverage and reassuring, too ("Calm down. Most of the adolescent population is not destined for terror or plotting secret lives. Choosing a parenting style that smacks of constant surveillance is overreacting"). They suggest parents treat their kids' bedrooms with an anthropological eye-"think of it as an archaeological dig"-and express interest in items around the room, such as movie ticket stubs. They also tell parents to learn their children's screen names (for chatting online) and limit him or her to one. The book's savvy advice and heartening tone make it a valuable resource.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Inside Flap

The "middler years," ages ten through fifteen, have always been characterized by an urge for independence and secrecy from parents. But these days, that secrecy can lead to more danger than ever before. Tackling the frustrations and fears of parenting in a world where cyber predators make headlines every day and "normal" adolescents act out in ways that beg the question "Where were the parents?", What Are You Doing in There? presents a new way of approaching a child's private life.

In their inimitable, candid style, Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese offer a variety of strategies for staying informed without resorting to snooping, eavesdropping, or other embarrassing KGB-like tactics. Within each of a child's six privacy zones?bedroom, friends, romance, school, body, and the Internet?Giannetti and Sagarese educate parents about common cover-ups and how to establish limits that enhance a spirit of mutual respect within the household. Exploring not just whether to worry, but how to go about getting honest answers, What Are You Doing in There? charts a course designed to instill maturity that will last well beyond the middler years.

The media constantly exhort parents to find out what the kids are really up to. Now there's finally a common-sense guidebook for addressing suspicions?without doing more harm than good.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (September 9, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0767912977
  • ISBN-13: 978-0767912976
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 2.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,627,565 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By Jennifer May, Ph.D. on January 20, 2014
Format: Paperback
I was really disappointed in this book. It gives a lot of overly basic, obvious information and is very watered down. I barely learned any thing at all. I would not recommend this one unless you have absolutely no clue at all about early adolescent development.
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