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What to Ask When You Don't Know What to Say Hardcover – February, 1997

ISBN-13: 978-1567311907 ISBN-10: 1567311903 Edition: UNABRIDGED VERSION

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Fine Communications; UNABRIDGED VERSION edition (February 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1567311903
  • ISBN-13: 978-1567311907
  • Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.7 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,811,533 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

This guide, complete with word-for-word dialogue, contains hundreds of intelligent questions to ask others in all kinds of day-to-day encounters and dealings. (Also available in paper edition ISBN #013-953985-9). --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By bryan.lord@sts.co.uk on May 11, 1998
This book is pure gold. It isnt to be used a as reading book but used as pure reference. You will never again be in the situation of being unable to control a meeting phrases such as ' what exactly is stopping us coming to a decision' and 'why did you never comment on my performance over the last year' will become second nature. I have used this book for over a year, using these 3rd party questions to stimulate my own thought processes and those of the people in my meetings.
One to have !!, miss it at your peril.
Bryan Lord
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Robert Arganbright on December 9, 2001
I found this book to be a very useful tool in identifying and solving problems. The first chapter on The Magic of Questions puts the rest of the book into perspective. I also like the way that the book is organized around specific types of problems to be solved. Chapters range all the way from dealing with unreasonable job demands to coworkers stealing credit for your work. I teach at a couple of universities and recommend this book to all of my students. Many have come back to thank me after successfully using this powerful technique.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By L. J. Oja on April 14, 2009
For people in business, this is a wonderful resource. I think that it is fantastic, and eliminates the need for stating, and potentially restating the obvious, e.g. "What do I need to do, to get you to fill in your work orders properly?"

This is the point of departure for work getting done without other people being the "excuse" for non-compliance. This one question did so much for me, and it actually changed the complexion of the workforce completely.

BUT, the book is seductive. Once you find yourself changing your perspective, this all starts to fall together. There should be a similar book for parents, and another for teachers. Both teachers and parents, and I am in both of those categories, we spend too much time saying things, and telling things. Asking a question is so very easy to do, gets to the point, and does not require defending?

Certainly, if you are management, this is a wonderful resource text for you, but don't expect there to be the perfect set of questions for you. You need to think about this, and tailor THE IDEA of asking a question rather than saying something to YOUR situation.

For teachers and parents, this is a FANTASTIC book because it will give you a REAL ALTERNATIVE to parenting or teaching that does not involve lecturing, etc., .

Buy it, read it, and you will see a tremendous change in yourself and others.
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The premise behind this book is intriguing and helpful... when in an awkward situation, a question helps you focus attention on your own concerns without inviting an angry response or dismissal. Instead of confronting other people about actions that have distressed you, you frame a question that invites them to offer more justification or clarity.

The Harvard Negotiating Project books also suggest ways for people with less overt "power" in a situation to get some negotiating leverage. This book WTAWYDKWTS goes further by offering concrete and multiple examples for specific situations.
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