Customer Reviews

What Becomes You (American Lives)

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
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At first I was little reticent, fearing a lot of gay/anguished person trapped in the wrong body kind of stuff. Instead, I found the author's viewpoint startlingly original, and very much angst and dogma free. Aaron writes with a clear voice, and the little asides, and various characters he meets, and situations he ends up in...are seen from a wry and humorous point of view. Which is not to say there are not depths. Indeed, this book will definetly set you mind spinning as to just how we perceive ourselves, and how we let the world shape us. While the book is very good, I would love to see the author use this writing style to take on other projects. I think he has great potential. If you have any friends who are going thru big changes, this is a book I think they will like. I will definetly be buying it for some friends of mine. I rarely write reviews, but I think this is a very worthy book, and applaud the author's, honesty, and style.

I remember meeting Sarah many years ago.

Aaron has given me insights that will hopefully allow me to be a better friend to several folks who share her experiences, I plan to recommend the book, not just to these friends, but to their friends and famlies.

As a grandmother and great-grandmother, I share with Aaron the love of a wonderful person, his friend - my son. I thank him for the introduction, not only to Sarah, but now Aaron and the world he lives within. His book has furthered the limited education of this rural midwesterner, and I thank him so much for that.

And remember, Aaron, when you dig in the sand, fingers and flippers often bear a striking resemblance! But that doesn't mean a crime has been committed. Keep exploring, and keep writing.

Raised a woman, Aaron Raz Link became a man - a gay man - at the age of 29. At least, he initiated the hormonal and surgical processes to alter his appearance toward a form closer to the person he had always felt he was inside. Because Link was trained as a scientist - specifically, taxonomy, the science of naming things - he is uniquely fit to analyze his unusual experience. It doesn't hurt that he's a beautiful writer as well as a thoughtful and witty one.

The book is nonfiction, he explains, and a memoir, but not autobiography: "It is a book about pieces that didn't fit the picture. As a result, the most confusing and difficult pieces play the largest roles." Strictly speaking, he writes, there is no such thing as a "sex change operation"; there are rather lots of little surgeries that were developed for other reasons, such as for badly mutilated soldiers, and infants and grownups whose bodies took an odd turn due to misbehaving hormones or cancer.

Link's analysis of his youthful fascination with movie monsters (they "were obviously the good guys"), of the Catch-22 of having to get himself diagnosed as mentally ill in order to qualify for the surgeries (legally speaking, "a mentally healthy person wouldn't want what I wanted"), and the absurdities of psychiatry and people's assumptions about gender roles, are all fascinating and well handled. There's even a kind of punch line: After an early lifetime of hating to be laughed at, following his sex reassignment, Link went to clown school.

Though a professor of English and women's studies who has been writing and publishing much longer than her son, Hilda Raz's less-than-a-third of the book is diffuse and less compelling - which probably reflects her passive and somewhat unwilling role in her son's transformation.

What Becomes You makes a terrific companion to Self-Made Man, lesbian journalist Norah Vincent's 2006 account of her three months dressing and living as a man. They're great food for any reader's thought.

"What Becomes You" is fascinating, moving, educational and revealing. In this book Aaron and his mother examine their lives within the context of their experiences and expectations of gender, what it is and what it isn't, what it means and what it doesn't mean. This book avoids sentimentality and sensationalism---instead it is gentle, intelligent and intimate. Reading Aaron's section, I felt as if I were sitting beside him as he told me the story of his life, his emotions as a child growing up feeling always out of place in a female role, and his struggles as an adult who chose to change not simply his body but his relationship to the world. Reading his mother's section I experienced the roller-coaster of emotions that she felt during the years of Aaron's self-discovery and gender change and, along the way, undergoing her own trials with breast cancer. Throughout the book the authors' love and respect for one another's lives is palpable. This book is not just a "trans" story. It is the story of family, longing, love, loss, society, work, literature, healing and much more.

Hilda Raz and Aaron Raz Link write the story of Aaron's young life. He starts off as a young woman, Sarah, and becomes a transgendered gay man in his early thirties. That's the short version. The book is honest, but the words that I kept thinking were "tenderness" and "compassion." Both mother and son handle each other so carefully as they negotiate the difficult passage of losing one person and gaining another. Sarah is gone, Aaron has emerged. As a mother, I feel Hilda's boat rocking on and on and how compassionately she negotiates the waters, compassionate with her son, compassionate with herself for being confused. I love this book and would recommend it to anyone who wonders how much gender determines personhood, to anyone who has thought about family and the delicate threads that bind family.

Written with brutal honesty, these authors have opened a door on sexuality and gender issues that will not be closed easily.

This book tells the much needed minority story of what it means to be transgendered. The author did not necessarily experience his difference as one of gender in early childhood. Instead, he just felt different than the other children. He came to see gender as part of his problem as he got older. Even then, he doesn't identify with the feeling of being a "man trapped in a woman's body". Literature usually tells the stories of transgendered people who have always known they are the wrong gender, and who easily fit stereotyped notions of what transgendered people are. It is nice to see someone who doesn't fit the mold and to hear a story told from a different perspective.

While this does add some diversity to the literature on transgendered people, it is not a good introductory book. The author takes an unusual and highly dangerous approach to obtaining medical care, so this book is not a good way to learn about the process of transitioning. Also, there is very little factual information in this book about what is involved in a transition. Since that is not it's primary purpose, though, it still makes a great narrative.