Customer Reviews

What Colleges Don't Tell You (And Other Parents Don't Want You to Know): 272 Secrets for Getting Your Kid into the Top Schools

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Wissner-Gross has managed, in one slim volume, to put forth every college admissions "trick" ever invented for "packaging" an applicant. If you use these ideas, not only will college admissions committees be on to you in a heartbeat, but you risk sending a child out into the world who believes that being clever and deceptive is a substitute for being genuine.

Just some examples of the kinds of advice this book provides:

**Manipulate your child's class rank by having him take non-challenging, outside courses where a good grade is guaranteed.

**Remember, nice guys finish last. If your child is not named editor in chief of the school newspaper, don't let him settle for a lesser job.

**Fake interest in an unpopular major in order to tip the admission scales in your favor. (Geology, anyone?)

**If your child is not athletic, least have him express interest in the Crew team and contact the coach.

**Parents should be prepared to contest all grades, and question any teacher whose grading policy is less than desirable.

**Get a pro to edit that all-important college essay.

**Secretly organize your child, and make sure you keep track of all his classroom test dates and paper deadlines. Parents must read all homework assignments thoroughly.

I could go on, but this is typical of the advice offered by this book.

Follow these instructions, and your parental manipulation will be patently clear to college admissions professionals, who have seen it all and can sniff out an overpackaged applicant a mile away.

Even worse, your child will arrive at college feeling inadequate and totally unprepared to fend for himself. After all, your actions have shown that he couldn't even be trusted to remember when his own term papers were due!

There are many wise and thoughtful college admissions books out there, but this isn't one of them.

I don't like the way that some of the book is written, and I feel you shouldn't lie or manipulate people into giving your child grades not earned or recommendations they don't deserve. It seems the author would stop at nothing to get her own kids into the ivy league schools they are in. I have a problem with that. Her other book, What High Schools Don't Tell You, she listed summer programs that you could get from other books. She didn't include some of the best programs out there for kids in different disciplines, like theater for example. She took things she researched on the internet that looked good but were not necessarily so. The most important ones she simply left out. Not good.

I'd like to know when kids today have time for extracurriculars outside of school? The schools make it impossible to do anything but schoolwork 14 hours a day - 8 in school and 5-6 hours of homework starting in 8th grade! And if you do stay after school to partake in theater or sports, you are guaranteed to be up till at least 1am. Homework on weekends (and the occasional holiday) is nuts. We had the dean of admissions from an ivy league university speak to the parents at our school, and he said it's all about authenticity (which clearly this book doesn't promote). He said "whatever happened to teens having jobs after school?" That's when the questions started ....What if you wanted your child to have a job after school? When would they be able to do homework? Even later at night than they do? Most parents said to him that we live in a world where the kids are "manufactured" - all neatly packaged like robots - with x amount of AP courses, community service (which at his school, they don't count unless you really enjoy doing it and have been doing it for years NOT service you start in jr or sr year because you are mandated to do it - they can see right through that - e.g. kids going to central america to build houses and latrines....at this point the people there are living quite okay (his words).

As for AP courses, at his school, they don't count how many you take...It's what your grades are and if you are taking courses that challenge you: Is it better to have an A in a regular course or a B in an AP course was the question asked. His response was an A in an AP course. Essays should be simple and authentic - not how a sprained ankle changed your life dramatically. And there is talk amongst the deans of admissions of doing away with the SAT's, because the affluent kids can pay for coaching while the poorer kids can't. Therefore, they perform better on them. They don't count standardized tests that much and the deans are all struggling with what they will do about it. Perhaps just a general essay. They need to know if kids can write - carry a thought from beginning to end and not use language outside their scope of understanding (Roget-itis).

In today's economy, each college looks for particular kids to fill their student body, so if this year university A needs a top oboe player that kid will get priority over others and even be offered money to come to their school if other schools have offered them admission as well. Bidding wars start. The president and provost send down a mandate each year as to what they want in their student body. That's one of the criteria that goes into the admissions decisions. Girls who want to be engineers or scientists are top on the lists. If they have a chance to take a boy or a girl, they'll take the boy if all things are equal since more girls apply to college than boys these days, believe it or not. All things equal, legacies win out. The total number of people with degrees in the US? Only 27% and only 1% worldwide according to him. And yes, you should ALWAYS write a thank you note to the teachers who write recommendation letters for you - it's common courtesy and shows gratefulness. That's not mentioned in this book, is it?

I believe the author seems to be very controlling and manipulating, and is for sure a helicopter pilot. I wonder if her boys knew how to do laundry or anything for themselves when they got to college based on the advice she gives in the book. I believe it should be the dream of the student not the parent when and where they choose to go to college. Don't force them to go to a college with a great reputation unless they want to be there. When visiting a college, use the gut test not always the head....If your child doesn't feel good when they get to the campus, then chances are they won't like it, but if they do get a great feeling, then have them explore the kiosks and cafeteria and see how many kids are smiling on campus...that's says so much. And always remember to stand at least 100 feet away from them when you ask your questions to accommodate the embarrassment factor (e.g. one parent asked on a college tour if they had dorms for girls who don't date...the "oh no" question). And key for an interview - make sure your child knows where the school is - Vermont is not near Iowa (a student's blunder).

Yes, it's perfectly okay to review your child's application and essay - especially to make sure it isn't written in blood (another example he gave us!). Avoid cheesy statements on the application, and be sure to sign in if you go to events at the school before applying and during the app process as some of the colleges count how many times you have been there (shows interest). Taking a class at the school over the summers does not guarantee admission to that college, in fact, it could hurt it. If you say I'd like to go to your school because I've attended summer sessions here and know my way around, they'd prefer someone who did summer sessions elsewhere (at another university) - his advice.

And there are honors colleges out there - small liberal arts colleges with a lot of great professors - akin to the ivy leagues. Some are at University of Arizona (smaller colleges within a big campus). As for financial aid in today's economy, the student who doesn't need it will get in before someone else who does. However, if you don't need a lot of aid, then you can still get in (the endowments the colleges used to get when the economy was good just aren't there in today's world - they are all suffering from the economic turbulence). He suggested starting the college visits in the summers between 8th and 9th so you aren't rushed. And never do more than 2 colleges a day (one parent did 32 college visits over 3 days in the summer before sr year). Not good.

I just recently read the story of a boy who went to an ivy league and was thrilled when he was offered a job in an investment firm (this must have years ago when the economy was doing better). He said he was overjoyed, but then quickly his bubble burst when he found out a friend of his had also been offered the same position. The reason he was unhappy was that his friend went to a less prestigious school and had so much fun for 4 years while he worked and studied so hard and was stressed out all the time. He said had he known that, he would have definitely picked the lesser known college where he could've had more fun. He hated his college years and felt he missed out on a lot of good times.

The lesson learned here perhaps is that we need to be careful about school choices. Our kids can't get those years back in high school or college, so we while we encourage our kids to work hard, they should also be afforded time to play hard as well. Sadly, the homework wars are starting earlier and earlier - elementary even and definitely from middle school on. We need to get the schools on board to realize that if they didn't pile on so much homework, the kids would be more enthusiast learners and be happier rather than hating school the way the majority of them do in today's competitive environment. They would be more rested and their test scores would be better and not suffer because of their lack of sleep. The burnout rate would be much less as well.....I feel like they are spending so much time doing homework that they work longer hours than adults holding jobs...it's very sad, and it's no wonder they cheat (it's the viscious cycle of pleasing the parents and trying to get into the best schools). All for what and whom?

As a college professor and parent of a high-performing high school junior, I found this to be a very disturbing book. The author is a journalist and self-styled "educational strategist" who claims to be privy to insider "secrets" about the selective college admissions process. In fact, the useful parts of her book did not contain anything that was secret, and the rest could be best described as wrong-headed or downright wrong. She states, for example, "If your kid gets a C, then you get a C as a parent." I won't even begin to go into why I think this belief is a recipe for disaster. Elsewhere, she says "Don't be fooled by a low faculty-to-student ratio, for example, on a campus where students are not supposed to speak to faculty members except during very limited office hours." She has this backwards. A low student-to-faculty ratio is what is considered desirable. The book is full of advice and comments like these that are at best off the mark and at worst potentially harmful. I suggest you spend your money on one of the truly useful guides to the college admissions process instead of this one.

I know this book is written for the parents, but, as a student, I found this book to be EXTREMELY helpful. I'll tell you the difference right off the bat: as a high school senior, I applied to renowned universities like Johns Hopkins, Tufts, and Boston College, and was not admitted to any of them. I was forced to go to the one public school I applied to and was very bitter about it. The first year at my public college, I tried to transfer to Johns Hopkins, hoping that my previous wait-listed status meant I would make a terrific transfer student. I was rejected once again... Then I bought this book the following year, and I was able to get into every college I applied to after that, including Cornell. I went from being turned down by second-tier schools to getting accepted into the Ivy League.. all from taking advice from this book.

Other reviewers complain about the cut-throat and perhaps manipulative approach this book wants parents to take, but I didn't read this book as a parent. The tips I focused on instead were the ones about the application process itself. I do believe that parents should encourage their kids to take part in extracurriculars in which the child both enjoys and stand outs, but someone that deserves to go a good school should be able to handle their own homework deadlines and applications. The book instead should be taken as guidance for things like writing a non-blasé application essay, getting good recommendations, what to do on college interviews, and how to show an admissions committee that a student's qualities and passions are essential for their university.

If you want your kids to think well of you and your relationship in the future, read another book. This one sends both kids and parents on a hyped-up quest that may -- or more likely may not -- get teens into a school they think they want to go to because, well, everyone else does. And if that is not a school for which they are suited, well I guess that's their problem. Er, make that yours too. Many tens of thousands of dollars and lots of tears later.

I found this title somewhat useful, and especially liked the interviw tips. But some of the emphasis still seems to be on getting your child into a school that, in the long run, might not suit them. Better titles for finding good fit schools and succesfully applying to them are HARVARD SCHMARVARD and -- especially -- GETTING IN WITHOUT FREAKING OUT .

High school college counselors are there to help the entire senior class, not just your child. Their job is to get everyone accepted into a college, not necessarily to seek out the best option for your child. College information sessions and campus tours are designed to inform the mass public. During these visits, specific information sought by applicants is not answered, nor are group sessions the right time to ask personal questions, often leaving applicants and their families wondering....guessing....or being misinformed. This book answers questions we all have, but cannot ask or did not know to ask on our college visits. It covers topics high school counselors do not cover and topics colleges are simply not at liberty to discuss.

The book is not the Bible; it is not meant to be taken literally and I do not think the author intended it to be taken literally. However, her views are not off track, she presents the hard core reality of college admissions with a bit of refreshing humor. Her suggestions are especially helpful to parents, most of whom are college graduates from 30+ years ago when the application/ admissions process was far less complicated and far less competitive. Having been thru the college admissions experience, I can confirm that most of what the author states and suggests in this book is true. I wish I had read Wissner-Gross's book on "What Colleges Don't Tell You" before our children reached their high school years. I wish I had not let myself believe that high school counselors would thoroughly guide us thru the college admissions process, always looking out for our children's best interests. Do your children a huge favor- READ THIS BOOK and use from it whatever can help your child the most.

After reading this book, I was glad that I didn't purchase it, but instead borrowed it from a friend. The whole book is a list of `secrets' for getting your kid into a top school. Some of the more helpful secrets, I thought, were not so much secrets as much as they were good old-fashioned common sense. One example of this can be found on page 245, where secret 231 gives you a list of questions that your child should not ask during a college interview. A few of those questions: Is the drinking age really enforced on campus? Are there dorms for smokers? Are drugs tolerated? Is there a wakeup call in the dorms?

Another example of common sense is found in secret 160, it suggests that your kid doesn't sabotage his own admissions by putting inappropriate e-mail addresses in his college application. Secret 160 gives examples of such e-mail address: Naked1, or Druggy2, or XFelon3, or Crack4, or Jailbird, or Dumbchick.

The least helpful secrets, to me anyway, were mostly over the top helicopter parenting tips. A few examples:

SECRET 60, suggest that your child's backpack is "family property" and should not contain anything personal. It says to go through your kid's backpack nightly (the author is talking about a high school aged child). Make folders for each course and keep score on course averages.

SECRET 63, "Secretly organize your child. Foolish parents complain to teachers or other parents that their kid is so disorganized or keeps a messy backpack or even a messy room. Invade. Clean up the kids act."

As a parent, I was able to find a few helpful hints, but not enough to justify spending $15 for my own copy. If you are considering purchasing this collection of 272 'secrets' let me add my own secret...Take an hour at the book store and skim through these secrets with a cup of coffee before spending your money.

My thought: A college should meet the true needs, skills, talents, and ambitions of the student, not the capability of the student's parent to manipulate not only their kid, but also the admissions office of their perceived "top school".

This is the best book to use when preparing for the college application process, and I would recommend purchasing rather than borrowing this book. If your child has the coursework rigor and grades for admission to a particular college it will help maximize the chance of that child's admission. The organization into sections called "secrets" makes it easy to skip over sections that may not apply to your child. One of the best pieces of advice from the book was to create a resume for your kid. When he fills out his application he may forget some bit of work, community service, extracurricular activity or award received, or need to find a "leadership" role. The resume becomes an easy resource. Second best advice, view your child on a national level- because that's where your child is competing. It helped our kids to focus on national, statewide or community recognition as well as school recognition for their activities. Both my kids read the sections on essays and interviews. The interview section really gave them confidence going into their interviews. While this won't guarantee admission to a particular school, it puts the whole process in perspective and helps you to guide your child in showcasing his particular talents and personality. We are done with this process and both our kids were admitted to amazing schools. This book truly helped them maximize their chances.

This book was released as my daughter was entering 12th grade...I wish Eliabeth Wissner-Gross had written it sooner! In "secret" #14, she discusses some academic competitions and programs which are highly regarded by colleges and are less well-known than Intel and Westinghouse. We had never heard about them, even though we're in a highly academic school district and this is my second child to pass through it! Her unique perspective on how to approach and prepare for standardized testing is detailed, extremely informative and may actually improve your relationship with your college-bound kid! Every section of this book provided valuable information that made us feel like we had a personal college advisor!